A little bit of this, a lot of THAT

Oh my God,

Coffee... wine... coffee... wine... coffee... wine... wine... coffee... wait, oops!


Just kidding, I didn't start my day with that oops, although, some days, I think it might be wise to start the day with wine. Would it make it better if I had a mimosa?

Look at it this way:

Pick me up... calm me down... pick me up... calm me down... calm me down...

That's better, right? It sure looks nice!

The girl was p*ssed off today because she wasn't able to take her driving test. We had to make an appointment, though the website here said nothing about that, AND they never, I mean never answer their phones. I was on hold for 45 minutes at one point... waiting, waiting, waiting. Then crazy wife (not all the time but on this day, she was), was checking how many texts the kids were sending out, and goes nuts after seeing my number of "phone call" minutes. Really!?!?! She'll deny that now, because apparently that mood has passed. Thank God. I have no life, so let's not flatter me in this manner... ever again. Pffft!

So, the girl has an appointment, and she was able to miss her first class, which is leadership. She hates that class, so woohooo, no reason for her to get ugly with me.

When I made it home from all of that craziness, it was raining, yet the dogs still needed to go out. Lately all Cam wants to do when he goes out, is bark at the birds (then come in and potty which is not acceptable), and I have to chase him down (because he runs from me, then circles back around so he can bark some more),with a squirt bottle and those dumb training chain-bags. Now, lets back up to "it was raining," yet here I am, trying to chase crazy dog down, while squirting at him... in the rain. I know, not my brightest moment. At least one of us is squirt bottle trained.

Mr. Raggedy Doggedy after a good chase down in the rain, with a squirt bottle:

Yes he is on the bed... Yes he is waiting for a cookie... I know, I'm a sucker!

A more serious topic:
I have an appointment today with the head of the kids' school. No it isn't to tell him how to run his school, and who to hire to teach leadership. Being a teacher, I know the last thing they need is some nutty parent up there thinking they know how to do it better than anyone else does. I actually love this school. It's been wonderful for both kids and their unique personalities. I love how they really seem to care for the kids, and don't put up with any crap from them either.

The school needs a gym for their activities, and we need a gym for our business... I want to try to combine our needs, and provide what they need if they'll allow us to build a portion out for what I would need for our business. Wish me luck... while I say I've given up the idea of this business, apparently I still hold out hope.

So, I'm wrapping this up, and wishing all of you a great and safe Friday!!!

Yesterday...

I've been struggling lately... with my appearance and my "importance."

I know, I know... I complain about my teen daughter possibly having some odd eating disorder (she wants to eat healthy, she wants to eat junk, she wants to be a vegetarian, she wants to eat red meat, she stole her brother's scale, she measures out food servings, which I don't even do, she's way too freakin' skinny, I've banned her from cardio exercise), and here I am...

Sh*t I said (Yesterday):

"I'm fat!"
"I'm ugly!"
"Do I look gay?"
"Ugh, I hate my nose!"
"Maybe if we just get me a flipper... you know, the kind they use in Toddler's and Tiara's?"
"I don't feel like doing anything."
"I hate my smile now!"
"You hate me!"
"Leave the bird alone!! Bahhh"
"Maybe I'll read."
"You don't love me."
"I'll watch TV."
"You're ignoring me."
"Did you hear anything I just said?"
"Ugh, I feel like a fat cow, but I just want to EAT."
"Leave the bird alone! Bahhhhh!"
"I want a Ding Dong... omg, doesn't that sound good?"
"What is wrong with my hair???"
"Why can't I make this stuff on my head look right?"
"Ack, static!!"
"I'm so stupid!"
"Pick up your mess"
"I can't think clearly anymore."
"I was listening in on a woman's business meeting at Starbucks today, I want to feel important like that."
"Go do the dishes."
"I want to do this 5K, you ARE doing it with me!"
"Maybe if I buy new clothes?"
"Leave the damn bird A-LONE...bahhhhhhhh!!"
"I'm going back to school."
"I'm getting a job."
"Whose laundry is in the dryer?!?!"
"Me in a classroom again... wait let me get past this panic attack."
"I can't breathe."
"I just want Xanax."
"I need some new running shoes."
"I want to feel smart again."
"I want to have people to do my 5K's with."
"I want my gym..."
"Okay, I NEED Xanax!"
"Oh my God, c'mon people, work with me here."
"I want to travel if we aren't going to do anything else but sit around here, and do this, this... what ever   this is!!"
"Are we living our life to it's fullest?"
"Go to bed.."
"Where are your phones and computers... turn them in... go to bed!"
"I'm going to bed."
"Okay, one more game, then I'm going to bed."
"I love you... more than anything and everything... good night.."

It was a long day yesterday... today is a little better, but I still want to feel important, I still want to do my 5K's with someone, I still want a freakin' Ding Dong, or some sort of snack cake!!

Don't get me wrong, I am so very thankful every single day for my life, for my health (even when I hurt), for my wife (even if our relationship isn't government valid), for our kids (even though they are out of the cute phase, and in the teen phase). I am... but I've got some insecurity going on right now, that probably stems from little activity, and little use of my brain. I don't know how you house-wives of twenty-plus years do it!!!

Today has a name, and it isn't Thursday...

It's Chaos!! Yep... it started right away too. Let me start by saying, we have basically created our own chaos here in this house. It's usually a chaos I can deal with gracefully. Well, somewhat so anyway. I mean, how graceful can one be when yelling "bahhhhh" in a growly tone, and throwing a bean-bag with a chain? Seriously, my throat hurts. I think this could damage my vocal chords. Oh, ouch... and I think I pulled a muscle from the continued throwing of the chain-bag. A little cheese with that "whine?"

This morning, I literally dragged my butt out of bed, and out the door with the dogs. Oh MY HELL, it was cold!! The temps dropped dramatically overnight, which you would think would put some pep in my step. It sure did give the dogs some get-up-and-go. They were running nuts, as I stumbled to the coffee pot, the pantry for their potty treat, then up to wake the kids. Back down I came, poured a cup of coffee, and settled in to check my emails, and read... NPR, CNN, and USA Today... now that my bubble has been popped, I'm reading the news again. Much to the wife's dismay. She liked my bubble, because I couldn't rant about the state of the world, since I had no idea what was happening.

The other day I let loose on the way home after hearing Newt Gingrich did or said something stupid as far as gay people, gay marriage, blah blah blah. "They are going to end up putting us in a concentration camp!! They WILL, you just wait...!! Or, or send us down the Gay Trail of Tears... have us live on Gay reservations." Now granted I had gone off the deep end, but I did read a book in which this happened, so I am not the first person to feel this could happen. Remember my blog yesterday about learning from history and not repeating it? Anyway, the wife replies calmly after this rant "Honey, what happened to the bubble... the bubble is a goooood thing....uh huh. Let's not talk about a gay holocaust okay????"

So yeah, my bubble... anyway, I wasn't able to burst the bubble this morning, because the dogs were freakin'  nuts. I'm "bahhhh-ing," and throwing the beanbag-chain (training suggested by the doggie therapist), and whining to myself "I just want to sit, SIT!!" Before I knew it, the boy was downstairs, which is my sign it's time to get dressed, and go.

I went to Starbucks after dropping the kids, almost forgot our drinks because I was talking to the woman behind the counter, got out to the car, and spilled the wife's latte ALL over. ::sigh:: I went back in, ordered another latte (because there would be hell to pay if I went home without it), bought two rolls of paper towels, and some gloves (remember it was cold out and the drink was cold too). As I was walking back out to the car, I could see the latte dripping out from under the door. ::sigh:: I am literally sighing by the way.

When I got home, I immediately heard the dogs barking from their room. I love them but ugh... I sat in the car, read emails, listened to music, and looked at Facebook. I hate that they bark in their room like that, because I know the neighbors hear them. Their piano room is right by our house, and she's always practicing for church (which I was shocked to learn, because I figured someone who cursed at their kids on a regular basis didn't go to church). I finally gave in, but I just wasn't up for dealing with those furry beasts today. I took them out, in the freezing wind, and rather than getting their business done, they ran crazy all over the yard. Luckily I was more stubborn than I was cold. NO ONE was going in until they had done something productive. Brrrrrr!

Then we've got the bird. He bites HARD... I told the wife yesterday that I didn't like the bird, and she looked at me as if I had told her I wanted a "divorce." She loves that bird. I think he's no fun at all. I mean, he bites, and he doesn't really play with anything when he's out of his cage. I loved the birds I had in my past. They've been playful and sweet, and have done funny things. This one bites... and sits on the wife, and pecks at her clothes. She's been watching bird training videos, and today we tried one of the techniques. It didn't work. I'm bleeding, ouch! Okay, maybe there was no blood. Again, more cheese with that "whine?"

This chaos is our own doing... then the teens came home from school. Want, want, want... I stood in the kitchen this afternoon, after preparing my chili for the slow cooker, and stuffed my face with tortilla chips... did I care. NO... pfffffft.

Tomorrow will be calmer. Yep!

Menopause - Could it be?

I know, I know... who wants to read about this stuff?! I mean, some of you have been through it, some of you are experiencing it, and would LOVE to forget about it for a few minutes at least, and some of you are so young, you're immune to the fact that you will ever experience it!

Last night, we were on our way home from getting the kids from their dad's house when it hit. Well, other things hit first. I have to say to one of my blogger friends, that from the day she sent me an email with a hilarious, but frightening story, I've been having panic attacks while I'm out running errands, or doing what ever it is I do away from home. That really messed me up (LOL)!!

Anyway, on to the revelation:

The wife reaches over to poke my arm while she's driving. I suppose I was unusually quiet? I was thinking... Well, I do that ya' know. Sometimes...

Me: Um, let's not and say we did, okay?

Wife: Why? What's wrong? Do you have to go to the restroom (asked in an exasperated tone)?

Me: Yes, Ugh!! What is wrong with me?

Wife: You did this the other day! Why didn't you just go at the kids' dad's house?

Me: That's the problem, I didn't have to then!! I don't why I'm having these sudden, urgent needs. It's frustrating. Sudden urgent needs to pee, I'm either way too hot or way too cold, I can't think straight. I hurt all over, and when I woke up the other morning, every single joint crackled as I stretched. If I didn't know any better I'd think it was menopause.

Wife: Your mother did go through it at 40.

Me: Well, H*ll, there you have it.

So, I really think this has been the problem the past few days. The wife has been hot flashing for a few months now, and we've typically blamed her brain fuzz on the MS, but it could very well be menopausal, or a combination of both. I personally don't handle brain fuzz well. I'm already ADD/OCD (self diagnosed of course), and really don't need more interference. Plus, one of us needs to be thinking on our toes at all times.  As I've said in past posts, two women going through menopause at the same time could be dangerous.

Don't you feel sorry for these two? Especially the boy... hey, he's learning how to be empathetic toward women, right?