Dear...

Today is Thanksgiving here... a day we're supposed to take time out, to give pause to our actually very blessed lives. From the richest, to the poorest, from Christian, to Muslim, to Buddhism, if you live in America, you are truly blessed.

We can worship what, and where we want, shop where we want, wear what we want, eat what we want, carry guns, speak our minds, we do have access to medical care whether we end up in a county hospital or a private one, and we can wake up every morning, to the sound of traffic, birds, whatever surrounds you, and know when walking out our door, that we will more than likely make it back home later that day, alive and well. No, we don't have it all... but we have more than most. We are blessed.

Last night, I was in bed, trying so hard to sleep, and I was thinking about God... I talk to Him a lot, and I always start our conversation out "Dear God..." I'm not sure if it's because of that song I used to listen to long ago, that was considered so sacrilege, but I loved it, or if it's because of the book I've seen on shelves called "Letters to God."

Never mind the reason though... it always starts the same, and just know, that this isn't a super religious post about a certain religion. This is about God. Whether we believe in His existence, or not, most of us do believe in something, and have faith in something bigger. For me, this is God. It's what fuels us, drives us, it's who/what we turn to when our souls need sustenance, it's what we worship, what we pay homage to. SO, just know when I talk about God, I know that our ideas and beliefs may be different, but they are still based on the same basic principles.... mostly. ;)

Anyway, lets move past the disclaimer! Last night went kind of like this...


"Dear God,

What do you think? Are you proud of us? Our accomplishments? It doesn't seem to me, that what we've got going on here is something to be proud of. That scares me, because we as humans, are very proud of our accomplishments. Our technology, our inventiveness, our way of life. It scares me, because we are SO proud, that we don't stop to ask you, "Are you proud?"

Even the way we worship has become something to be proud of. These HUGE churches, gathering tons of money, to build bigger and better places, when you provided us with plenty of space to pray, to sing, to show our love. I'm talking about mountains, and valley's, and fields, and forests... the perfect place to quietly contemplate, and talk to you.

We don't do that though... quietly talk to you. We make it BIG, we expect others to be just like us, to do just like us, or we judge them. We can't co-exist. I guess we never could. Are you proud that we judge and kill in your name? I don't think you are. I think you shake your head at us, and hope we can finally get it right. Some people do... get it right I mean. Just not enough to really make a difference in this huge world you created.

There are stars in the sky, beautiful sunrises, amazing sunsets, the trees are so pretty right now (I just noticed yesterday that they're finally starting to change here!), little animals everywhere, that make it without all of the things we feel we need to survive on... all of it is SO fragile, yet not as fragile as we are with our amazing advances, and technology. Those are the things that have made us the most fragile, because we have become so advanced, that we would not be able to survive without it, now.

So, I don't know why I'm feeling so low on this Thanksgiving Eve... I guess because I see what's going on, and I'm not proud, I'm scared. I feel like I'm standing back, behind everyone else and watching. They hustle and bustle, and live, and exclaim, and disclaim. It's like watching subways rush by you, and not really even being able to distinguish the train's form in the blur. I'm really hoping that today, a day in America when MOST of us, regardless of religious beliefs, take time to give thanks, and that those subways will slow down, stop, and think reflectively."

SO that was last night...

Today, I woke up at 7, fed my zoo, listened to them play, and now I'm about to go wake my family. I'll be making them all breakfast, then taking my Cam dog for a walk. He needs mommy time, and I can take pictures of the beautiful trees with their pretty new colors.

I'm so thankful for the natural beauty that surrounds us, for my furry babies, for my family, for good, fattening food! Life is too short, it's meant to be lived, and we're meant to love each other. Every form of life deserves respect, and honor. So today, be sure to stop and look around... you would be surprised at what you see!!

9-10-11

Counting up... much better than counting down, yes? Counting up and looking forward. That's what we should all be doing, but tomorrow will be 9-11-11... there will be no moving forward tomorrow. Time will stop and we'll be looking back. We'll be thinking about the thousands of lives lost. We'll be pulling images from our memories of people jumping from high rises. We'll be worrying there's more to come.

It's so sad to me that we really haven't learned how to handle each other, even after such a tragedy. The fact that they aren't allowing clergy at the memorial service speaks volumes about how little we've learned. The reasoning is understood. If they allow one member of a certain faith, they would have to include members of all faiths. There simply isn't enough room to accommodate all who want to attend.

There isn't even enough room to accommodate some of those who should be there. The policemen and firefighters... the ones who will respond should another tragedy strike. It's simply another tragedy... honoring those whose lives were lost, without our everyday heroes in attendance. Unless they have somehow managed to work it out.

I was reading a CNN story earlier about a Muslim family who lost a husband and father. The widow had a baby boy 2 days later. A baby who is now 10 and has no memories of his father, because he never met him. I hated reading about this family having to deal with the backlash of an act committed by people who shared their religious beliefs. As the widow stated, these horrific acts committed in the name of Islam, were acted out by extremists. Not all Muslims are extremists. Just like all Baptists aren't hypocritical bigots. ::shrug::  The Baptist church in our town doesn't even claim it's Baptist because of the bad rap Baptists get. How is this okay??

Religion is so divisive. SO many have died, decade, after decade, after decade, in the name of Religion, in the name of God. I will stand behind my belief that God doesn't want this of us. I would love to see members of all faiths coming together because we are all one... we are all human, and we are so incredibly fragile.

I pray nothing happens tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after that, and I hope everyone has a beautiful Sunday, spent living life to its fullest and loving others for their differences as much as for their similarities!

We build such beautiful places dedicated to worship, why are we unable to build bridges of understanding and acceptance?

A view of New York from the top of the world.

She was once the color of a shiny new penny

God bless America, God bless this world.

 The firefighter who wore this didn't survive. Many were treated in this church on this very bench. 

Salamanders, Art, Religion, and Life

This morning I woke to a dead baby salamander in the kitchen sink. Thoughts immediately took me back to every instance the wife has chased them down with a little box... to save them... from the dogs. She catches them and puts them outside where they belong. Then she worries that she's sending them to their death by putting them outside. One night we chased three around the bedroom, and set them free through the window. After crawling into bed, the wife looks up, and what do you know, there's one on the ceiling. She totally freaked out, and probably didn't sleep the whole night. "What if he falls into the bed?" When we woke the next morning and he was gone, I told her he probably fell right into her mouth while she slept. I know, I know... not nice. Anyway, this morning I was still blurry eyed. My routine is to stumble out of bed with the three babies, take them out, pray there aren't fishermen in the backyard because who knows what I'm wearing, stumble back in, get the babies treats, and make coffee. When I saw this baby in the sink after I had already turned on the water... when I realized he wasn't washing down the drain... I thought, no, I will take care of this later. Need... coffee... first. Poor little salamander.

The girl is very excited about school and doesn't stop talking from the time she gets in the car until the time she goes to bed. I'm happy for the excitement because she has a rough schedule, which is necessary if she's going to graduate when she's supposed to. So I figure, enjoy her excitement now. Thursday she was telling us that she's been put in art class. They get to build a portfolio, and "............." <----that's her talking. What I did get out of all of it was that this art class is ALL drawing. The wife and I were beside ourselves. "Wait a minute," the wife says. "You can't draw. You can do photography, but..." The girl interrupts with whining "............". The wife then pulls out pictures the girl drew a few months earlier. Actually, I'm told she traced them. I tell the girl we're taking those pictures up to the school and we're going to ask them what they're thinking. "Noooooooo... I like to draw." What about yearbook? What about a photography portfolio? I went up to the school the next day. I told them how I understood about being well rounded, but the girl is not on the track to college. She will probably end up in some art school or something. She loves photography and she's good, can we not get her into something like yearbook? Then I pulled out the pictures she drew, "She drew these..." I could tell they were trying to figure out whether or not they should say, "WOW, those are wonderful!":::mouths wide open::: When clearly they are terrible for a 17 year old. I decide to let them off the hook and told them I brought the pictures in for emphasis on why I think she needs to do something else. "Ahhhhh..." Laughter all around  ::shaking head:: We aren't mean parents, we're honest. The girl really needs to focus on her future if she's going to do what she wants and be financially independent.

The girls drawing... or I should say, tracing

           

I've been on the hunt for a church in our small town. The biggest problem I have is finding one that will accept us. We don't want to go into a church lying about who we are to each other. I don't think God would like that. The other problem is that these churches have hidden denominations. Seriously, in Dallas, they have names like St. Peter's Catholic, or Blah Blah Baptist. NOT here. I have to Google them to find out what they are. So far we've got Pentecostal ::that's not happening::, Baptist ::no way::, Methodist ::this one is iffy::, and Presbyterian ::getting closer?::  I'm shocked at the absence of Catholicism, but this is a small town. Maybe that's a big city religion. Eh, I'm a recovering Catholic anyway. 

The other day the wife and I were driving down the only road out of town when we passed by a church (Yes, we pass it every day). I wondered out loud what denomination the church was. "Baby, you say that every time we..." I interrupt saying I do not say it every time. "I bet you've Googled that one at least ten times now." Noooo, I haven't. Im going to look it up right now! I want you to ask whats-her-face where the gay people go to church around here. She says we aren't the only ones in this town, and some of them must go to church! Then she says, "Honnnney, you know that tone you get when you're reading your mother's emails? You know... you're trying to sound crazy like her?" Uh huh... "That's kind of what you sound like when you get all worked up, you know?" Hmmm... I then tell the wife that, I don't know, but I scared myself to death the other day when I walked by a mirror in the store and thought I looked like her. The wife confirmed I do not look like my mother... Thank God. Then she called me a crazy a**. Ahhh, the love.   

I finally looked into that church last night. It's Disciples of Christ. I still had no idea what that was, so I had to look up beliefs. Apparently they were once totally against "practicing" LGBT's but have now come to show greater tolerance toward them. "They practice tolerance!!" I tell the wife, this is the one! "Sure they do... " she says. "They still call black people "coloreds" around here... do you know how backwards that is?" Yes, it's true. We'll just have to see about this church. I wonder what they would call us. 

The wife is awake now, so I'm going to wrap up this incredibly long post. She hasn't been feeling well this past week. Her MS has been giving her grief, which she would deny 'til her dying day. She says it's a "bug." Uh huh. We close on the Dallas home on Tuesday... finally, and I think this is what's stressing the wife. Why her MS is flaring. The money lost, the fact that we loved it so, but that it was time to let it go and move on, are things she hangs onto. 

I loved the crown molding in the old house. This is one small example.

    

The back yard was so beautiful and peaceful... until they built that damn treehouse

I'm going to try hard to keep up with my blogging so I don't end up writing such long posts. The problem is, after I take the kids to school I work out. If I don't, then I know I'll end up skipping it, which will then make me feel like a fat cow, because I have a love affair with food that I don't want to give up. Even though food makes me incredibly sick, I love eating it. It doesn't make sense at times, what will make me ill, and what won't. In Mississippi, I had a true southern meal of fried chicken and waffles, which didn't make me sick at all. The other night, the wife and I tried this old fashioned diner in the middle of town, and I had chicken fried chicken with gravy. I was sick as a dog afterward. Although, it may have been the chocolate pie that made me ill. Who knows... all I know is I need to workout if I'm going to eat this kind of crap.

The babies love to watch me work out

The wife wants to put my elliptical in one of the back bedrooms. It's windowless... NOT happening. No one uses this room, so it's MY workout space. :)

This is my view while I work out... LOVE it!

             

I hope everyone has a wonderful week!! I'm going to try to catch up on everyone's posts tonight!