Just Two Chicks!

Just Two Chicks!


Wednesday, November 17, 2010

In your shoes

"I would never go back to my teen years." This told by me to a teen not belonging to me in an exercise performed in a workshop I sent my daughter to.

You see, I get that being a teen is hard. You're still feeling your way around, learning lessons that will hopefully lead to your success as an adult. You're trying on different ideas about life, who you are, who you want to be, and who you want your friends to be. You're insecure about everything under the sun except the pictures you take of yourself in the bathroom mirror.. I assume you aren't insecure about those since you post them ALL over facebook. ALL of you do it, The boys with no shirt on... :::yuck:: Just saying... and the girls are usually puckering their lips in some odd sort of ummmm... is it supposed to be a pout? Your parents should be seen and not heard... well, really not seen either, but you make concessions... being home together is okay, but not out and about. 

I get it... but you don't see the other side. You don't see that I have no idea what I'm doing.You don't believe I'm not out to ruin your life. You don't realize the decisions I make regarding you are at times a direct result of your actions. You don't get that I'm doing everything in my power to give you the teen years you deserve... the teen years I missed out on. 

I've never had a teen, and because my teen years were cut short due to a mentally ill mother, I have no idea what being a "normal" teen means. I want you to have friends. I want you to have fun. I want you to have your driver's license. I want you to have a car, and a curfew, and boyfriend. I want you to have the "best" clothes, the "best" electronics, the "best" of everything you want.

I have expectations... I expect you to be responsible... get your school work done and stop giving excuses as to why it didn't make it into your teachers inbox on the day it was due. I expect you to be honest with me. I've never given you a reason to lie, regardless of the situation. This makes it hard when you lie about little things... I wonder about the bigger events in life. I expect you to own your mistakes... stop blaming others for your issues. I expect you to do what you're asked to do without an argument... a request to take out the trash, at times turns into a 30 minute debate as to why you have to do it. I expect you to have respect for yourself, the people you come into contact with, and for the people in your family.

We sent the girl to a workshop this weekend, and I guess we were hoping to see a major change in her right away. We expected new languaging, both verbal and body. We expected her to be like the other teens in the workshop... happy, dancing around, making friends, loving life. She was aloof, acting as if she was better than all of that. Maybe the change will come slowly... she did come away talking about it in a positive manner. Patience...


1 comment:

Anita said...

I wish I could offer advice.
My oldest daughter just turned 15 and so far, so good. She started field hockey in August, track and field in November, and will probably go right to lacrosse in the spring. There is practice everyday after school, then homework. She's too tired to be bored or noticeably insecure.
I'm praying that I can handle her and the other two as we cross over into the teen years.
You're a good mom to keep the conversations going and to seek alternative ways of getting your message across to her. Some parents just give up and eagerly wait for college, hoping the kids will get accepted into one that is not in town. lol
In the future, she will look back and know that you loved her and did your best to prepare her for life on her own.
I'm sorry your teen years were hard. Make up for it by promising yourself "me time" whenever you can. :)