No more whining!

I sat down this evening determined to write a blog. I am working on overcoming this lack of desire to write, or to be honest, to think! I’m not exactly sure what has come over me these past two months, but I need to take control of myself. My blogs have turned whiney which is a big reason why I’ve stopped writing publicly. I’ve still been writing for myself because I have to get this stuff out of my system.


Here’s the run-down on my thought process:

• I have found myself feeling resentful of the wife’s job and even her business partner.

• I sink like a rock when she leaves town or when she conducts small amounts of business before we go to bed.

• I feel like I need something for me. Something to wrap myself up in. Something I can make mine.

After the processing was complete, my ideas started flowing. I have an idea for a business I would like to start but obviously I have much research to do. The problem with the business is that I would be depending on my wife financially in order to get it started. Then something else occurred to me… my writing IS mine. It always has been. I just need to find my groove again and go after it. I wouldn’t need her financial assistance to write… to be an author. I just need my grooooove! I’m not abandoning my other business idea because I really think I can make it something great, but I am abandoning the whining because who wants to read that crap anyway? NOT me and not you guys either! So this is my promise to my followers… no more whining :) I'm setting my cruise control and turning that stuff off!

It's all good...

There is nothing like having a puppy sleep on your chest... love this dog!

Something like that...

I've come to a realization that has me claiming resignation... or something like that.

I actually wrote a whole blog about this, but after careful reading, decided not to post it. Perhaps later.

For now I'll talk about the purchase I made while processing what I was about to realize...
I usually turn to shopping when I'm feeling sad or lonely, but I've never purchased somehting quite like this for those particular reasons. Thank goodness... I'd be arrested if I made this type of purchase everytime I was out of sorts.

I bought a puppy. Now we already have two dogs and a cat we never see, but the older dog one wants nothing to do with the baby dog who just turned 1 on April 1st. In my head I was buying Tallulah (yes, that's her name) for myself and Callie May ( baby-dog). The wife was calling her ugly at first, but has now claimed her as her very own. Here is the newest member of our crazy family, along with the other furry babies too. I'm hoping this new member will help me cope with my resignation so that I won't have to turn to meds or liquor in order to keep from going nuts or making others nuts in the process~~

It's mindless...

Haven’t blogged in forever. I’ve been lost to yet another Facebook app. This one is awesome because I can build my own city. I can then sit for hours and move things around. It’s all very mindless. It’s also something the whole family has been doing “together.” We all have our own little cities. Sick, I say, simply sick.


I’m trying to pull myself out of this particular nightly trance. Luckily nothing but my writing has suffered. I’m still working my part-time teaching position at the kids’ school. I’m still having a hard time when the wife leaves town. THAT is something I am determined to work my way out of. I’m going to have to figure this out… but not tonight.

Right now I am going to bed because tomorrow I’ll be meeting with some people I once worked with. They are going to help me draw out a business plan… then I’ll have my own thing and will hopefully will not be so clingy/needy/pitiful… bleh! I’m also going to a trade-day thing and then to an HRC event… it will be a long day, but good!

The antagonists persist

Okay…


This will be just a quick “frustrated” blog. I love my children. I love spending time with them, but there are times… such as this evening, when the togetherness drives me crazy. Not because I need “alone” time. I’ll get that eventually, but the constant antagonizing makes me nuts. They do it to each other, they do it to me, and they do it to my wife who seems to have way more patience than I do.

Due to her patience, I start to question whether or not I’m being irrational, and sure, by the time I pop, I’m sure I sound it, but seriously! I’m with them from morning ‘til night, and now, when I’m not with them, I’m with other kids. Then as soon as I dismiss the class and mine are done with school, they come to my classroom, and it starts all over again until I get home and escape to my bedroom. I’ve imagined, more than once this week, being pulled over by an officer for driving 100 on the highway and breaking into tears with an insanity claim, with a finger pointed at the children. “Pleaaaasssseeee officer (with tears and snot running down my face- gross I know, but you’ve seen people bawl), pleeeeaaaaasssseee don’t give me a ticket for reckless driving. It’s been a hell of a week and they’re making me cr-cr-crazzzzy.” Yep… that’s me. Or I would be like Marge Simpson when she lost it on the highway and just sat in the car while people tried to talk sense into her. Let me tell you, when the children make you nuts, there is no sense in talking sense… make sense?

I hope everyone has a terrific week and I think I'll be trying to post my old blogs since I can't seem to find time to write my new ones... there's a traffic jam ;)