Thoughts from the casino

Yes, you read the title right and can interpret it as it is written. I am blogging in the casino. Does this give you a clue as to how my luck is?

Here are my thoughts as I sit at the slot machine and mindlessly push the button:

Hmmm... I'm not really winning, but I'm not losing either.

I imagine it would be easy to dehydrate while sitting here... I imagine the news story reading "Woman dehydrates while sitting at slot machine because she just couldn't risk losing it to another."

I notice the walls by the bar area are painted the same color as the walls in our new home.

I start thinking about our new home and feel content sitting at this same machine... I could sit here and push this button all day. (uh huh)

I start thinking about the wife... Where is she anyway. I wonder if she's winning or losing. I hope she's winning.

I then start thinking that I really miss her. She's so stressed right now... I'm ready for all if this upheaval to be over so I can have her back again.

Then I lose my money...

And so folks, here I sit... Blogging and wondering how long I'll sit before I lose all self control and withdraw more money from the bank.

Off I go now!



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Just in case...

This particular entry will serve as a picture memorial to my home... Just in case. If you're curious, please read my last blog entry.

                                        Heading out to dinner on my 40th!

                                         Our Patio...

                                         Love the paddle boat... we would sure miss that!

                          

                                         Smores by the water... love the outdoor fireplace!

                                         Birthday memories in the kitchen

                                        Say cheese! Enjoying the Spring weather

                                          It's so beautiful in the Fall

                                      

                                                  Tulips on the breakfast counter....

                                         We have so much to enjoy just outside our windows!

                                         This is perfectly peaceful to me

                                         Down by the water...

January 18, 2011-Wonderful Possibilities

January 18, 2011

As I sit down to write, I’m trying to ignore this heavy feeling in my heart by offering an appeal to my “sensible” side, but I am left with the not-so- gentle reminder that change doesn’t quite suit me. I guess we could say it isn’t the strongest aspect of my personality. Especially when there’s risk involved. Maybe a change worth making involves a bit of risk though? 

I feel for the wife. I know that a LOT of this falls on her shoulders. She has a lot of “balls in the air,” as she would say. The main one being her business... does she sell her half, keep it and push on, wait to see if an outside buyer has an interest? It’s a scary thought... The “what if’s” are numerous.   

The other “ball” is our home... hence the heavy heart. I love it. I love our back yard with the water and San Antonio Riverwalk type atmosphere. It’s so peaceful, yet we’re right right in the middle of Dallas... you can’t beat it! Or, maybe you can... We want big closets, we want a media room, we want a game-room, and... the most important thing we want is WATER... now granted we have water, BUT we want lake or ocean, and we found it. Wow, did we ever find it... Walking in this home, it’s as if it is actually on the water. Amazing.... amazing home, amazing views. The only risk here is monetary. That’s a huge risk, but we are both able bodied and talented. I could always teach full-time should the need arise, and she has many options. 

So, we saw the house yesterday and today a “for sale” sign is sitting in our yard. How does this happen? The wife goes out of town, the agent comes over to talk and see the house, and now there’s a sign. I’m not going to panic over this. What an amazing opportunity we have in front of us.... a chance to take our lives by the reigns and do something new and special... it’s business and it’s personal. It’s a wonderful possibility....

Amazing Grace - Rhema Marvanne 7 yr Gospel singer

This little girl has the most amazing voice...

What if...

What if...

You knew these next few months were your last here on earth?

What would you do? 
Would you live every day to its fullest doing what you love doing?


What if....

You knew you would lose your vision or your hearing?

Would you notice the first blooms on the trees?
Would you take time out to enjoy a sunrise/sunset?
Would you hear the birds singing?
Would you take a mental picture of everyone you love... their smiles and their laughter?

What if...

You knew your marriage would fail before your vows were spoken?

Would you still get married?
Would you try to find out why it failed and fight to make it work?

What if...

You were given the opportunity of a lifetime but without guarantees?

Would you take it and run with it?
Would you take the chance?

If you answered yes to any of these questions tell me this: Is this how you're living your life now?

Why do we need the "What if" to realize how precious life is, and how blessed we truly are?

Today... 1/11/11

Seriously...

Today:

Rise and shine, it’s 7am! I get up, get the kids up, and get my coffee. In an effort to save money (and it’s quite a bit of money when you consider how much Starbucks is), I’ve stopped going to Starbucks on a daily basis. The wife still gets her iced lattes, and I do make the trip for her on my off days, but overall, I’m saving us at least $130 a month or more! Of this, I am proud. 

At work we do the usual routine and I do my best to leave as soon as my Kindergartners do... 

The children and I then come home. I sit down and read the news. They scatter and are hopefully doing homework. Then I do my house-wifely duties. I still consider myself a house-wife since my work day ends at 11:30. I do laundry, dishes, clean out our huge Christmas stocking bags (This is always fun... the gifts in them are either hilarious, or something needed around the household.), then I head back upstairs to, well, take medicine. I am NOT happy about this at all....

Over the holidays, there were a few things that kept me offline and away from my writing. Family, shopping, cooking, AND pneumonia... sick, right before Christmas and right before the family came visiting. I’ve been feeling great for  few weeks now, and I really didn’t think I was taking advantage of it. Apparently, I was enjoying this healthy feeling a bit too much, because once again... my head is killing me, my nose is sniffly, I can’t hear anything, and my throat hurts. I’m not whining... ::ahem:: 

The good news is that I already have antibiotics. They prescribed them to me when I had pneumonia, just in case my pneumonia was an infection and not viral. (My blood counts are messed up, so it’s very hard for them to tell whether I have an infection or a virus when I’m ill.) I decided my pneumonia was viral and didn’t take the antibiotic. 

Anyway... I suppose I should get going. There is a dinner to cook, and a television show to watch. I have, once again, been unwittingly pulled into watching The Bachelor. We recorded it last night because at the time it came on, the game of THE CENTURY was also on, and there was no way I would have forgiven myself for missing my Auburn Tigers win the national title! War Eagle!!!  

Promises...

Promise me this...

Promise me you’ll love me forever, even when I’m not being very  lovable.

Promise me you’ll never hurt me.

Promise that you’ll never lie to me. 

Promise me you’ll always be there in times of need, BUT most important, in times of joy too.

Promise that I’ll never have to worry about being alone again.

Promise me a lifetime of happiness.

Promise me a lifetime... 

Just some things rolling around in my head. I’m working on fulfilling one of my promises to myself as I write this. That promise is to write something every single day. 

I hope everyone has a wonderful evening... I’m gearing up for a great football game. Go Auburn Tigers... War Eagle!!

This world...

Kids these days have the right idea... 

What is this world coming to? I say this not only in response to the actions of the Jerod Loughner’s in the world, but also to the Fred Phelps of the world (who thanked God for the Mass shooting in Arizona and who plans to picket the funerals of those slain). This is also in response to all of the terrible things that happen on a daily basis in the name of hate, prejudice, and in the name of God and religion. 

Most of us no longer feel safe sending our children to school for fear of what will come through the doors. We fear the metal detectors public schools have placed on the doors, though we know they are there to protect. Just the idea that they’re needed brings the danger home. A trip to the store, mall, movies, or restaurant could turn fatal... not because of anything you’ve done. You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time... a victim of someone’s disturbed mind and violent actions. 

So what are we to do? Are we to sit back and not bring attention to ourselves? Do we hole up in our homes? Do we trust anyone? Would you lower your car window for a stranger requesting help? I’m not sure I would even lower it for a child anymore. You just never know, right? 

A child playing outdoors, a jogger, a person walking their dog, a child’s sporting event, a short drive... nothing is sacred, nothing is safe. Life is already too short not to live it, so what is the answer? What can we do? 

Kids today may have the right idea with all of their online activity, video gaming, and texting. Perhaps we should stay in. We can conduct all of our business online. Public appearances would be a thing of the past... We could communicate with our leaders online only. Grocery shopping, the latest goods, movies, everything can be done on a computer. Physical fitness/activities can be done in the comfort of our own homes through Wii, XBox, and PS3’s. Relationships can be conducted in much the same manner with extensive background checks performed before we are to “meet” someone. When we do leave our home, our actions are tracked... why not? Only certain jobs would require us to leave our humble abode, so we have no need to be out, right?  The environment might actually improve. Sounds crazy, yes? I agree, but...

What are we to do to protect ourselves and those we love?

Ahhh Welcome to 2011!

To be or not to be, THAT is the question, isn’t it? (Full credit given to Shakespeare for this first sentence!)

To be happy, to be fulfilled, to be healthy, to be true, to be you... life is full of what we desire to be, what we CAN be, what we want others to be. 

The first month of the new year comes with many resolutions meant to make us into what we desire to be. Even if you are one who strongly declares your refusal of resolutions, in your head you are quietly working on a better you, be it for money, health, happiness, looks, whatever... it’s there! 

Tips for successful resolutions are as follows:

1. Do not read up on HOW to make resolutions and how follow them. 

That would be a great procrastination activity though! 

I’ve discovered I am on a constant quest to better myself. Throughout this quest, I’ve read many self-improvement books, many “poetic about life” books, many “how-to” books, etc, etc. (Even as I write this, the woman seated at the table next to me has pulled out a book called “Lead Successfully.” See, we all strive for something!)

Personally, I love the task of making my resolutions. It makes me feel productive and in control of my life. It gives me goals... it holds me totally accountable when I let my goals fall to the wayside with excuse after excuse. So, my goals these next few months are simple, and here is the main one.

I will not lose “me” in my life...

That’s it... of course my other goals are geared toward this main one. I also want more money, more time, and more energy, BUT I’m trying to keep it simple and perhaps if I’m able to meet my goals, the rest will follow. I would LOVE the domino effect that leads toward GOOD! 

What are some of your goals? Are you a supporter of resolutions? 

Happy New Year!

Okay, it's a bit belated, and I didn't even get to wish anyone a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, or a happy day!

 I left rather suddenly, I know. The holiday season is no holiday for me, as I'm sure some of you can relate. It's a time of constant running around, cooking (which I really love doing), and entertaining family (which I also love).

I just wanted to stop in for a short time tonight. I'm totally wiped, which is a common physical state for me when the wife is out of town... the result of not being able to sleep!

Tomorrow I will come back with more to say! Fridays are now dedicated to writing, and the wife has tried hard to make sure I have everything I need in order to accomplish my writing goals. Don't want to let her down! :)