I don't have a lot of time today, but wanted to visit while I had the chance.
We've been busy getting the wife's parents moved in just down the road from us. YES, they finally found a home they love. It's beautiful, and it has a pool! The girl and I swam in it before they moved in. I had to go over and make sure it was cleaned before they arrived (I mean, no one wants to walk into a home they just purchased, and then have to clean it), so I swam when I was finished! I sure do miss swimming. I was once on a swim team you know.
Anyway, I helped as much as I could until I fell ill. Yep, I'm sick now. I started my antibiotic yesterday, so with any luck at all, I'll be feeling better by Friday. Um, that's tomorrow!!! I have to feel better by tomorrow!!!
We are going on the most amazing vacation, a once in a lifetime type of thing for 10 days, and I'm not bragging, I'm leading up to something that has me completely flabbergasted.
Last night, well, the past few nights, the boy has been very negative about this trip. I finally lost it last night, and went what the wife calls, apesh*t on him. Don't worry, not physically, but verbally. I mean a rant... "You and your sister are both spoiled. All upset about a trip because GOD forbid you won't have access to internet or your precious phones... really?!?!?!" The girl is sitting there saying she didn't do anything, but she's been b*tching about it too. Then, "You'll be lucky you have those things when we get back! No appreciation!" It goes on, but nothing exciting. The wife said that I needed to give him the option of going to his dads 10 days early. So I told him that regardless of his decision, he needed to have a bag packed today, because he was either going with us on Friday, or being taken to his dad's tonight. He said "Okay..." I told the wife, I would really have a fit if he "decided" not to go. She said that's when I make him go. Ugh! I shouldn't have to make him! Life is meant to be lived! Life is meant for new experiences, and this is going to a wonderful experience!! Not to mention the fact that he will be going to his dad's as soon as we return, and he won't have anything to do there, except internet, and movies all day long.
I haven't posted about this, but it's something that has had me bothered for a weeks now. The kids are supposed to go with their dad for one month in the summer. This year, the girl is not going, and this is going to be ugly, because I don't think their dad realizes this. She's 18 now, she has a job that she'll start when we get back from vacation, and she's going to be going to college. She has stated she will NOT be going. I can't make her. She hasn't had a "normal" life due to these visitations. She hasn't been able to get a job before this because of them, and she has missed out on SO many events, and functions because of them. Now she is quite resentful, and she's playing catch up.
So the boy wanted to know "What about me? What will I be doing?" My head was spinning. I don't want him there alone all day. I tried to tell the girl that if she went this one last summer, I'd give her money, and a car to drive herself, and her brother around in. It didn't work.
I can't put him in camps there because his dad won't be able to take him. I was going to try to work something out in which he just goes over there every weekend that month, except of course for the week their dad has taken off, but that plan changed a few Thursdays ago. He called and asked why the kids weren't there on a Thursday night, since school was out. Here is what I said to him: "Well, I figured since Thursday was your late night, and since you worked all day Friday, you wouldn't want them sitting there bored." I said "The boy plays tennis all week, and he has a Tuesday and Thursday night league he plays on... if they have to come on Thursday nights, he'll miss that evening of tennis, along with Friday morning tennis... he LOVES tennis." This all fell on deaf ears. He wants them there Thursday nights. SO of course I didn't try to bargain for the weekends thing in July because he just doesn't care about that. He wants them there when he comes home from work, no matter how late that may be. I feel for the boy, and I fear we're going to backtrack through all of the progress that we've made these past few months with him.
I get that he is their dad, but most dad's would want their kids doing things. They would want them to have a life, and friends, and all of the opportunities that are afforded them. They would say things like "Right, I do work late on Thursday nights, so I'll come take them to dinner on Wednesday nights instead, and then I'll see what lies ahead on their schedule, and I'll work on that in my schedule." I am completely open to him seeing them whenever he wants. I just want them to have a free life with the ability to pick and choose their activities without constantly worrying over how this will affect the peace at home, because I'm going to be honest, the reason I don't encourage sports in this house, is because I know what that will do to visitation, and that stresses me to no end. Though I don't say anything, I'm sure they can sense it. I'm not one who has ever been good at hiding my stress. Although, maybe I've gotten better at it, and this is why I have panic attacks... because it builds?
Anyway, I know I have a ton of reading to catch up on with all of you, and tonight, while I'm sitting in bed, I'll do that! Right now, I'm writing what will be my last post for 10 days... YES, I am so very excited about it!
As long as I'm not feeling as bad as I am right now, and as long as I hear from the pet/house sitter, I will feel SO much less stressed. I better get going... lots to do, lots to do!!
We've been busy getting the wife's parents moved in just down the road from us. YES, they finally found a home they love. It's beautiful, and it has a pool! The girl and I swam in it before they moved in. I had to go over and make sure it was cleaned before they arrived (I mean, no one wants to walk into a home they just purchased, and then have to clean it), so I swam when I was finished! I sure do miss swimming. I was once on a swim team you know.
Anyway, I helped as much as I could until I fell ill. Yep, I'm sick now. I started my antibiotic yesterday, so with any luck at all, I'll be feeling better by Friday. Um, that's tomorrow!!! I have to feel better by tomorrow!!!
We are going on the most amazing vacation, a once in a lifetime type of thing for 10 days, and I'm not bragging, I'm leading up to something that has me completely flabbergasted.
Last night, well, the past few nights, the boy has been very negative about this trip. I finally lost it last night, and went what the wife calls, apesh*t on him. Don't worry, not physically, but verbally. I mean a rant... "You and your sister are both spoiled. All upset about a trip because GOD forbid you won't have access to internet or your precious phones... really?!?!?!" The girl is sitting there saying she didn't do anything, but she's been b*tching about it too. Then, "You'll be lucky you have those things when we get back! No appreciation!" It goes on, but nothing exciting. The wife said that I needed to give him the option of going to his dads 10 days early. So I told him that regardless of his decision, he needed to have a bag packed today, because he was either going with us on Friday, or being taken to his dad's tonight. He said "Okay..." I told the wife, I would really have a fit if he "decided" not to go. She said that's when I make him go. Ugh! I shouldn't have to make him! Life is meant to be lived! Life is meant for new experiences, and this is going to a wonderful experience!! Not to mention the fact that he will be going to his dad's as soon as we return, and he won't have anything to do there, except internet, and movies all day long.
I haven't posted about this, but it's something that has had me bothered for a weeks now. The kids are supposed to go with their dad for one month in the summer. This year, the girl is not going, and this is going to be ugly, because I don't think their dad realizes this. She's 18 now, she has a job that she'll start when we get back from vacation, and she's going to be going to college. She has stated she will NOT be going. I can't make her. She hasn't had a "normal" life due to these visitations. She hasn't been able to get a job before this because of them, and she has missed out on SO many events, and functions because of them. Now she is quite resentful, and she's playing catch up.
So the boy wanted to know "What about me? What will I be doing?" My head was spinning. I don't want him there alone all day. I tried to tell the girl that if she went this one last summer, I'd give her money, and a car to drive herself, and her brother around in. It didn't work.
I can't put him in camps there because his dad won't be able to take him. I was going to try to work something out in which he just goes over there every weekend that month, except of course for the week their dad has taken off, but that plan changed a few Thursdays ago. He called and asked why the kids weren't there on a Thursday night, since school was out. Here is what I said to him: "Well, I figured since Thursday was your late night, and since you worked all day Friday, you wouldn't want them sitting there bored." I said "The boy plays tennis all week, and he has a Tuesday and Thursday night league he plays on... if they have to come on Thursday nights, he'll miss that evening of tennis, along with Friday morning tennis... he LOVES tennis." This all fell on deaf ears. He wants them there Thursday nights. SO of course I didn't try to bargain for the weekends thing in July because he just doesn't care about that. He wants them there when he comes home from work, no matter how late that may be. I feel for the boy, and I fear we're going to backtrack through all of the progress that we've made these past few months with him.
I get that he is their dad, but most dad's would want their kids doing things. They would want them to have a life, and friends, and all of the opportunities that are afforded them. They would say things like "Right, I do work late on Thursday nights, so I'll come take them to dinner on Wednesday nights instead, and then I'll see what lies ahead on their schedule, and I'll work on that in my schedule." I am completely open to him seeing them whenever he wants. I just want them to have a free life with the ability to pick and choose their activities without constantly worrying over how this will affect the peace at home, because I'm going to be honest, the reason I don't encourage sports in this house, is because I know what that will do to visitation, and that stresses me to no end. Though I don't say anything, I'm sure they can sense it. I'm not one who has ever been good at hiding my stress. Although, maybe I've gotten better at it, and this is why I have panic attacks... because it builds?
Anyway, I know I have a ton of reading to catch up on with all of you, and tonight, while I'm sitting in bed, I'll do that! Right now, I'm writing what will be my last post for 10 days... YES, I am so very excited about it!
As long as I'm not feeling as bad as I am right now, and as long as I hear from the pet/house sitter, I will feel SO much less stressed. I better get going... lots to do, lots to do!!
4 comments:
Comments kept popping up in my head but as I read further...you just about covered them all. My ex and I were on the same page regarding visitation. We had no problems. PLEASE quit worrying about the visitation. The kids need to grow and experience life. They have every right to say they don't want to go. If they have activities on the visitation days...the activities take priority. Feel better and you guys have an awesome vacation!!
:( I'm sorry the kids' dad has been such a jerk about their visitation. Hopefully with your daughter choosing not to visit this summer it will give him the pause he needs to see how his behavior is affecting the kiddos.
Have a wonderful vacation! :)
You do live a complex life. I hope you get to enjoy the very special holiday.
I can't wait to hear about your 10-day adventure!
I'm sorry you're going through all that stuff with the kids' dad. Divorce is so messy. I was a child of divorce. Poor kids - pawns sometimes. I don't blame either of your kids for their feelings about going to Dad's. I loved my dad, but home was with mom and I didn't feel like going there just to pacify him. My brother moved with him permantly when he was 13, so that let me off the hook.
But back to happier things - hope it works out with the inlaws around and I always hope your health improves.
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