"Cause we gotta have faith..." Thank you George Michael

Today I'm choosing to do this post first, because it's a "positive," when I'm in the "negative." The post that follows this one will be my ode to all that has been negative these past few days, and perhaps in writing it, I will find some answers. Hmmm, we shall see!

So, here it is. I am doing the Thematic Photographic # 193 - Faith, from Carmi's blog http://writteninc.blogspot.com/2012/04/thematic-photographic-193-faith.html.

For me, these are the things that confirm there is something out there that keeps this world spinning. Unfortunately it spins out of control... but, it spins nonetheless. Get ready... there are many pictures!!

Some people find faith, confirm their faith, in church.  If any church building itself could confirm faith, it's this one. It once sat near/beneath the Twin Towers... the church is still there. 

New Orleans... in the heart of the city

The Crystal Cathedral in California is an amazing building

Can you imagine singing in the choir at the Crystal Cathedral? This choir space sits high above the congregation.

Being raised Catholic, I have been spoiled with beautiful churches. I can just imagine taking communion in this Catholic church in New York. Beautiful... you're always looking up.

I love stained glass windows... I remember it being rainy on this day, yet it still looks like the sun is shining through.

Now for my own confirmation... the places/things, that reassure me, when at times, I flounder. 

 First the sunsets... anyone who really knows me, knows how much I love them. Even though a camera can never really capture the beauty seen with the human eye, I still take pictures. I am so happy I do too... one is never like the other.

This one is from the bedroom balcony of our old home. Miss my trees!

From the back porch of our home now.

This is one of my favorites

Smooth waters on this evening

From the hilltop in our neighborhood. I needed a different view ;)

Red sun setting... during the major dust storms, this is what a Texas sunset looks like

The sun has set, but is still spreading its glow

 The world is an amazing place to be, if you just look around... you'll see. These next few pictures represent the things that, try as we might, we as humans, could never replicate. There are too many naturally occurring, perfect imperfections.

I loved being in the bedroom of our old house. It was the only upstairs room, and when you opened all of the blinds, you felt like you were in a tree house. I watched the leaves change from deep green, to bright reds, and orange, before finally turning brown and falling to the ground. Although, a few hung on all winter.

The Grand Canyon... absolutely amazing. 

Another view... There were SO many different colors... again, impossible to replicate .

A field of flowers in Big Sur

If I could build a home in Big Sur, it would be right there on the cliffs

Isn't he beautiful?

The fog rolling in... San Fran foothills

A small river in Big Sur

A lone horseman in the foothills

Our own backyard... the end of a sunset

Pismo California... trusting bird.

So detailed... our own backyard

We must have an appreciation of the little things... even the weeds.

One of our backyard friends. 

I love Pismo Beach, California... so many things to explore

The very things we treasure, we also destroy...

The oil spill in the gulf has left a lasting impression on the beaches

The course of time, lack of care, and hurricanes helped contribute to destruction 

BUT, the biggest contribution to the destruction of  all things, comes from us. We destroy the earth, and we destroy each other. Sadly this represents an act committed in faith (twisted as it often is, in order to make a religion fit our agenda), to shake the faith of others.

Sometimes the storms roll in, and we're forced to face the fact that we are indeed vulnerable to the things we love....

I felt like it could swallow us

I love the clouds, but they sure can make an ominous picture!

Ahh, just a little lightning here

More ominous clouds with the end of a sunset

Oh yes, we get to see some major lightning out here

Vulnerable... 

One of the few snow storms we've had. This was the back yard of our previous home

Through all of this... we survive, we find hope, and we continue to have faith... because if the smallest things can survive, then we can too, right?

Hope...

If she (he?) can survive the spills

If he (she?) can survive the hurricanes

If this rose can survive the tornadoes

If the berries can survive the snow

Then we have hope

We have faith

We need to have faith in order to survive (I would give anything to be here at this moment!)

Whether your faith lies here (My friend JUST posted this on FB and I had to use it... it was perfect timing!)

Or here... this is an amazing picture. The storms were rolling in pretty fast, and this boat was making it's way in. The wife was standing outside taking pictures of lightning, and decided to take a picture of this boat. Do you see the image... bigger than anyone who could have been sailing it. I do believe these people had a little faith and help!

Okay... that's it for me... it took me hours because the pictures weren't downloading right, but I needed the break from all of the stuff going on around me. I'll have to do my other post later this evening. I now have to get out there and take care of the things that have me so discombobulated... which you will of course hear (read) about in the upcoming post! Woohoo, right? Hey, you may just have some valuable advice. 

Sunday

Happy Sunday peeps!

You know... I have to say I'm so disappointed in myself for not keeping up with my Facebook page for this blog. That's all I have to say a about that. ;p That was just in my head.

So, it's Sunday, and I'm curious as to how many of you go to church. I know some of you well enough to know your beliefs, but not all of you.

Lately, three different people (well, 2, and then I met a woman yesterday during that walk who was doing the same thing) have been pushing us to attend church with them. It's strange really, because neither the wife nor I, have ever had this type of situation pop up before. Not like this, where it's all at the same time. I'm sure from past blogs you all know I do believe in the existence of God, and sometimes I'll blog about what I feel has been a divine intervention. That being said, some things about the followers in general, really bother me. Take for instance the people who post pictures of someone being baptized... the comments are always... "Amen!" Or, "That child has been saved!" I don't know... that to me is overkill. It's like when you're just entering a new relationship and the other person is all over you with flowers, and  love poems, and, and... it's just bleh! Too much. It kind of pushes me away from it, because while I do believe, and I do pray (oh believe me, do I ever pray, sometimes even in the traditional, on my knees way), I don't do... that? I don't know... it's hard to explain.

Anyway, I'm thinking even though little things push me away from the followers, we should probably find a church. I told the wife yesterday, that maybe God wants us somewhere, since so many people are pushing us to go. The problem is those panic attacks. They started many years ago, in church. SO I stopped going because back then, that was really the only place I would get them. I sure did love my church though. Everyone was so down to earth, and the pastor was witty and humorous. I loved her sermons, because they were stories told to help us find our way through this crazy world today. If we lived closer, I would try to go again.

Today though, will be spent doing other things...
I need to work out. I wanted to go to the Home and Garden show, but the wife invited people over, so I guess I can't do that. I was going to volunteer with a dog rescue group. I mean, I could go ahead and do that. I don't know... all I know for sure is that I need a workout. Yesterday, we went to the horse races. It was fun... my friend's band was playing there, before Mr. Ted Nugent took the stage. I don't even know if I'm spelling his name right. We left before he made his appearance, but not before I consumed junk food. Not a lot, but enough to make me mad at myself. Before that I participated in a small walk event to raise money for our local pregnancy center. That was fun, but my friend ended up having to work the event, so I walked with people I had just met. They were slow walkers! It took an hour for 2 miles. Had I been alone, I would have finished way before that because running would have been involved. Oh well... they were nice, and I came home and worked out afterward!! A little obsessive I suppose, but I'm starting to feel a difference, and even see a tiny difference, so I'm way motivated, even though my allergy meds are bringing me down.

Okay... time for me to get going. People will soon be arriving, and I need to choose between Home and Garden or the boat with the wife and the friends. 

6 Minutes

I only have 6 minutes so I will do this in bullets! :)

* Woke up at 6 to get ready to go to the wife's tennis match. I have to do this so I can prepare myself as much as possible to hopefully avoid panic attacks on the drive from Alcatraz to Dallas.

*Meeting with the city about the building wasn't hopeful. Sure they're willing to rezone, but as I said the wife upon leaving... if we do this, how hard will it be for us to resell the building later? I mean, we aren't looking for a life-time commitment. The only reason buying ever felt right to me was because I could reason out the fact that we could sell the building. The problem with this is that they built a beautiful building with too few parking spots to accommodate a growing business. So, unofficially back to the drawing board. She still needs to speak with the nice man who's been working with us on the purchase.

*Cam was not given medication, to which I was forever forlorn. The vet said to call out the behavioral therapist again. If that doesn't work he will refer us to the one at A&M. Seriously? BUT, I totally forgot about a product recommended by I Shoulda Been A Stripper . SO, I ordered it last night out of desperation. I totally lost it, and dissolved into tears, when Cam went after the bird cage, and then screamed when I grabbed him up. He then cowered... ugh! I had forgotten that he had gotten 4 shots, and was sore from that, and was scared that I had grabbed him too hard out of frustration. Luckily that wasn't the case, but my guilt overrode all reasoning.

*I did some major stress eating last night. Ugh... but it was SO good. SO after tennis today, I'm taking the boy running with me (he doesn't know this yet, but it's my effort to keep him off of the computer. I do try to be a good mommy). We also started geocaching... OMgeee, that is SO freaking fun! It's like a scavenger hunt/treasure hunt. He loves it too... so woohoo! Yes, he's 14. This is for any age!

*Time for me to get the wife up, and go get ready. I hope you all have a wonderful day!

A Million and One

I have a million and one things to do, so of course, I came to my second greatest source for procrastination... My blog! My first greatest source is Facebook. (This was last night by the way... now it's 9 am and now I really must get my stuff done!)

I guess you could say things have picked up around here. With Spring coming early(even before the gopher declared it), I've spent every opportunity I've had outdoors, which is why this blog has been continued today. Not because I was outdoors last night, but because my allergies are kicking my butt! I drugged myself heavily before I started writing this post last night, and then couldn't finish. Although, the heavy drugging did nothing for my itchy, watery, eyes, my sneezing, or my sniffles, making it not really worth it, because now I'll have to push my workout back to this evening. Oh, this is because my body feels so sluggish. I was sluggish yesterday too, which is probably why a 3 miler took me an hour to do.

I have to say, I am SO happy I'm back to running. It just feels good, and when I'm really into a good stretch, I'm not thinking about anything except the sound of my feet hitting the pavement, and the cars whooshing by me. I've been leaving the neighborhood and running on the main roads... the terrain is bumpier due to all of the major construction, and I like that. Trail running is what I would be doing if I had people to run with. Right now, I run behind, and around the tractors. Not kidding here. The guys look at me like I'm nuts. LOL

Things have been up and down as far as that building we found. We have a meeting with the city today to discuss the zoning. I really need to get with the wife and so we can discuss exactly what I'm supposed to say that will sway these city managers to allow us to conduct business there. It's a wonderful building, so I hope we can make it work. So frustrating. I felt bad for the wife when she was telling me this new bit of information. She was way more frustrated than I was. I guess I had braced myself for it ahead of time, due to past disappointments with this whole procedure of space hunting.

I then have an appointment for my little Cam boy... he's been attacking Callie, our little white dog, out of the blue. We're not sure when he'll do it, or why. He also chews everything in sight. I'm not sure I ever posted the picture of the wall after he had gotten to it. Yes, the wall. The other night, he walked into the living room with something hard in his mouth. I went looking for where he might have gotten it, and it was grout from the wall tiles around our bedroom fireplace. I bought him a "thinking" toy yesterday. He played with it ALL day, and carried a part of it around with him no matter where he went. It came to bed with us too!  Wish me luck... the vet doesn't take my complaints about this behavior seriously, but it is serious. The wife wants to get rid of him... that's how bad it is. I love that little dog and can't imagine getting rid of him.

Pictures of Cam's destruction:

The chewed hole in the wall. This wall is original decorating... they did some technique with straw, and it looks awesome... NOT with the hole though.

The missing grout. No idea how he managed to get it out. He tries it with our bathroom and kitchen floors as well.

This is his thinking toy. It has three holes in it. It came with a lady bug, which is the part he carries around. He's supposed to try to get the bug out, which he did. I then stuffed it with some of his other toys, but yesterday his focus was the lady bug. 

He loves it

He loves it... he was running by in this one which is why it's blurry

This was before bed last night. Finally passed out.

Okay... I need to go. The wife and I need to have a meeting of the minds before we have a meeting with the city. Ugh, and what to wear?!?!? I don't want to get "dressed up" for this. My allergies are kicking my butt, and I just want to be in comfy clothes.

Wish us luck!

Later on, I'll post some beautiful sunsets!! :)

A Return To Something... not sure what!

I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend! We celebrated Easter with an egg hunt for the dogs. 

Ah fellow bloggers and peeps who take the time to read me... thank you!! I want to especially thank you for the support when I've blogged about having down times. Last week was long, and I literally did not sleep. I've gotten to the point of dreading bedtime, because I struggle so much to find my sleepy place.

Here's a picture I took at 6 am Friday morning. I finally just got up after being wide awake since 3 am.

Beautiful Moonset... It turned so many pretty colors, but it was hard to capture in the dark.

There's a lot going on, and one of you pegged it. We have had SO many changes this past year, add those to hormonal changes (I'm talking menopause), and you've got a not so pretty situation. Change for me, good or bad, is hard to tackle. I don't adjust well.

So here is last week in bullet updates:

*The day after I blogged, we had a horrible stream of storms sweep through here with a large number of tornados scattered all around us. It was scary, to say the least. We pulled up the radar pictures after they officially announced the strength and number of the tornados, and the results were: Several EF-0's in a circle, with us in the center, and an EF-3 that literally made a U around us. We were in the pantry watching the live feeds via laptop, and our camera feeds from our home cameras, so we could see the goings on outdoors. Wish I could download the hail videos... amazing!! I probably can, I'm just challenged right now. Another amazing thing is that, thankfully, we had not one fatality They're predicting heavy storms again tomorrow. I'm fine with the rain, because I'm hoping this will alleviate drought conditions this summer. The lake is higher than it has ever been, but this past summer it was the lowest it had ever been. I am not, however, fine with tornados.

*We withdrew our offer on the building we found. The inspection found water under it. Not such an unusual thing with a pier and beam building, but the huge crack jutting from the wall, told us this water has probably been an issue for quite some time. I was going to have a foundation specialist look at the home today, but we decided the risk was too high. Upon making this decision, frustrations drove us to a website for a city near us, and guess what?!?!? We found a building. The owner said he took it off the market and was surprised to get a call, but since he did, he decided to go with it. He is building an indoor kids facility down the road, and needs the money to get that building ready. He's leasing the side of that building to yet another indoor facility... batting cages, and he took us in to see it. It was absolutely awesome, and the best thing is that we will be able to do business with both of these facilities! So, please, please cross your fingers, pray, do whatever it is you do, to bring good upon others... for us and the families we'll serve. My community give-back is going to be a 24 hour hotline for parents and caregivers. At times people need immediate support when their kid is losing it, or when they're losing it... this is what we will be, support. The wife doesn't quite agree with how I want to do it, but we'll figure something out. It's important to have. Too many kids are dying at the hands of their parents, and I honestly feel that in some of these situations, had non-judgemental support been available at the drop of a hat, it could possibly have changed the outcome. Anyway, we still need to go through the city, and the bank. I'm nervous, but still trying to plan for the positive!! It was meant to be... right?

*The wife and I seem to be at a crossroads lately. Disconnected is how we put it. I guess it happens when you've been together for a time, get comfortable, and forget that what you have, still needs nurturing. I guess this has been a large part of why I've been struggling. We are both very excited about the building though, and yesterday was quite peaceful and relaxing. SO, we'll call it a phase in our relationship, and hopefully nurture it back to wonderful health. It's not on it's deathbed by any means, and it's not critical, but it's has a small virus right now, that we're taking meds for. I really think the gym will help. It will give us both something to do!

*I've been really good about working out every day, and I've noticed it helps with my down moods. Plus I'm seeing a small difference in my mid-section, which is quite motivating!!

Speaking of, I need to get moving. I have to take kids here and there, clean up from yesterday's fun, and work out!

Last night's perfect sunset... 

Twilight Zone

(This started as yesterday's post, but things happened, and I didn't get it finished)

It's a TV show, it's a song, and it feels like my life at this moment. Only because I had a late afternoon nap. Something I rarely do, just because of this alternate reality type of feeling I have upon waking. I have the strangest dreams, and wake up feeling like those were the real deal, and this is the dream.

Dreaming... I fell asleep thinking about the wife, and the gym. Wondering how I would manage if her MS were to debilitate here to the point of her having to be taken care of 24/7. Or Hell, what would happen if she developed Emphysema, because lets face it, that's as much of a possibility right now, as the MS rearing the ugliest head possible. I suppose those thoughts led to this dream:

I'm at some type of political event. Once upon a time, I was very active politically. That is until the wife came along, and I pulled away from it in order to avoid disagreements that neither one of us could ever win. 


People everywhere are cheering for some woman just introduced. She's a commentator of some sort, a member of some Focus on the Family religious group, and a staunch supporter of the extreme Right movement to take all rights away from "the gays." I don't know how, but this was something already known in my dream. 


I'm moving through the crowd trying to get out of there, but soon find myself face to face with this woman in a room. She decided she likes me and apparently we have an affair, because then I'm marrying her? Yep... anyway, then I was back home, walking in a field of bluebonnets, when I saw this black thing moving around. It scared me at first, but then I realized it was Tallula, my furry baby. I then saw the other two babies running around.. I tried to get them in the house, that was apparently mine, but not. I could hear my neighbor on the phone, and a news commentator in the background somewhere talking about my neighbor on the phone. Then a black truck with painted orange flames, drives by... then... I wake up. Unsettled... like I am right now. Like I was yesterday when I finally woke up.

So today (as in I am now in today's post), is a "down" day. Crap! Things were going along great, and boom! I don't know why. I'm sure it's stress. Which is just awesome. It's good to know that I can no longer handle stressful situations. I remember a time in which I could handle anything, I was strong even. Now... I'm a mess. At least I'm strong enough to hide it.

The building inspection is today. Wish us luck, but right now, I don't know what that means. Luck that it's falling apart and we don't buy it, or luck that it's in great shape and we do this!

I think I'm going to take the longest walk ever with my babies. I may return by dinner time.