My, my, it’s been awhile since I’ve written and I have so much to say! I know people don’t like to read book length stories in a blog, so I’ll keep it short and sweet… at least I’ll try to. The good thing is that unlike tennis, I won’t hurt myself trying to get back into the swing of things if I haven’t touched a pen in a few weeks.
The last time I wrote, we were heading to the casino… I did take a picture of a slot machine rubber which you’ll find to the left of my blog. We didn’t win a thing. In fact we lost a LOT. Not a good night, which means we won’t be going back for a few months.
The wife and I set a budget. The budget setting activity inspired me to update and circulate my resume. We don’t need the extra income, but this was something I felt I needed to do for a variety of reasons.
• I’ve only been a housewife for 5 months. I feel guilty for spending money I haven’t personally earned. I often wonder if the guilt would be there if I were married to a man. I do know that I don't need to have guilt on top of the jealousy I seem hang on to.
• Again, it’s only been five months since I’ve not been working. It’s hard for me to feel totally comfortable telling other people I’m a housewife because I worry about being judged. This could circle back to the fact that I’m housewife to a wife and not a husband. Most don’t find our relationship acceptable under any circumstance. These thoughts will be in tomorrow’s blog.
• Worries over the future… though this worry doesn’t keep me up at night, it is something that will at times pop in my head. If I’m not working and something were to happen to my wife, the kids and I would have quite a struggle on our hands emotionally and monetarily. I would have to find a job, a place to live, and pull it all together for them while also dealing with major grief and loss of all things important to me. Where money and personal possessions are concerned, people want what they feel entitled to. This leaves us out, three close friends, and of course, the family in. I can’t even wear a particular ring around my wife’s mom and dad because it’s a family heirloom and I’m not an official family member. Again, this will be visited in tomorrow's blog.
Now I’ll talk about the reasons why I love being home…
• I love taking care of my wife while she works from home. I make sure she has her coffee, that she eats at least a small lunch, and that the dogs aren’t under foot during her conference calls. I like to think this makes me special. I mean, who else would do this with such love?! :)
• I love spending the extra time with the kids. We’ve been playing tennis in the mornings. I’ve had time to make them breakfast. They go to a private school which only runs half days. I love this concept. As a teacher I completely agree that a child does not need to be in school all day to learn. A full school day is time spent on lunch, restroom breaks, assemblies, and other misc. items. Actual teach-time equals about 2 ½ to 3 hours.
• I love having the energy to cook great meals, keep up with the laundry, practice tennis, run, and have family time from about 7 to 10. It may be spent watching Idol or something like that, but we all seem to look forward to it.
With all that being said… I am now working. It was quite a surprise, but the kids’ school called me and asked me to come observe a class today. I did this and now I am officially hired. I am teaching afternoon classes, grades 3 and 4. I have a total of 6 totally self motivated kids. Wow… it’s so different and even though it’s only 3 hours, it will be an adjustment. I missed not being home… am I becoming recluse? Is it bad that I want to take care of my family full-time? I don’t know… I feel like I should be more career driven, but I’m just not. If it were my school, my business, it would be different… it would be a family affair.
Hmmmm…
Just Two Chicks!
Monday, March 29, 2010
Saturday, March 20, 2010
New York vs. Home
This will be a fly by the seat of your pants blog! Let me see… We’ll start with some New York blurbs!
* We met a hobo, as my son likes to call them. He posed for a picture with us and even let my wife hold his bottle of liquor as a “prop.” Overall, I would say he was a very nice man!
*We walked a marathon in the wind and rain. We heard it was the worst storm New York has seen in a LONG time. How nice that we were there for that!
*We took the wrong subway, almost killed each other trying to get off of that particular train, and then learned that we more than likely would have made it to the same destination no matter the train we took.
*We learned that you cannot order cheese fries in New York City and expect them to be the mountain of melted cheddar and crispy fries you get here in Texas… what you will get is a plate of fries with a few slices of Kraft American cheese slapped over them. The waiter did try to appease my wife’s requests.
*We attempted to walk from Battery Park to our hotel in Times Square not realizing the distance. As we hit the halfway mark, an empty taxi pulled up directly in front of us… we couldn’t move fast enough to secure that ride!
*The best part of New York is that I was able to shake Al Roker’s hand, and Kirsty Ally waved at us while she waited for her Today Show interview. I love her! I’m now trying to get my wife to try Kirsty’s Organic Liaison diet.
I’m going to post pictures from our trip tomorrow afternoon on my Facebook site, LHW Chronicles of our Perfectly Imperfect Life. Join it if you’d like and you can see the pics. I don’t send out constant notifications and I don’t message at all. I just understand how to use Facebook more than I understand this blog site!
We’re home now and back to life. Driving to Starbucks feels good… doing laundry feels good… sitting in bed while writing and watching the rain feels so very good! Life has been busy since we’ve been home…
*Last night we took the kids to the Blackeyed Peas concert. It was great… so much fun! I can honestly say I never thought I would see Ludacris in concert, but low and behold, he was the opening act. Two guys marching around the stage yelling their raps was interesting.
*This morning I was up at 6 AM and ready to meet my running group. It was pouring rain and 40 degrees out, but we ran. Did I mention I joined Team in Training? I love it!
Now we are off to gamble. I’m going to try to take pictures of the crazies rubbing the machines while we’re there. I have little tolerance for that type of thing and will usually get up and move away. I’ve decided that today I will clean my machine with hand sanitizer and then give it a big ole lick when some nut sits next to me and starts their rubbing, crisscross routine. Perhaps they will move! ;o) Perhaps I won’t get a disease… ha!
If there are typos, please forgive! My computer is about to die and I don't have time to proof! :)
* We met a hobo, as my son likes to call them. He posed for a picture with us and even let my wife hold his bottle of liquor as a “prop.” Overall, I would say he was a very nice man!
*We walked a marathon in the wind and rain. We heard it was the worst storm New York has seen in a LONG time. How nice that we were there for that!
*We took the wrong subway, almost killed each other trying to get off of that particular train, and then learned that we more than likely would have made it to the same destination no matter the train we took.
*We learned that you cannot order cheese fries in New York City and expect them to be the mountain of melted cheddar and crispy fries you get here in Texas… what you will get is a plate of fries with a few slices of Kraft American cheese slapped over them. The waiter did try to appease my wife’s requests.
*We attempted to walk from Battery Park to our hotel in Times Square not realizing the distance. As we hit the halfway mark, an empty taxi pulled up directly in front of us… we couldn’t move fast enough to secure that ride!
*The best part of New York is that I was able to shake Al Roker’s hand, and Kirsty Ally waved at us while she waited for her Today Show interview. I love her! I’m now trying to get my wife to try Kirsty’s Organic Liaison diet.
I’m going to post pictures from our trip tomorrow afternoon on my Facebook site, LHW Chronicles of our Perfectly Imperfect Life. Join it if you’d like and you can see the pics. I don’t send out constant notifications and I don’t message at all. I just understand how to use Facebook more than I understand this blog site!
We’re home now and back to life. Driving to Starbucks feels good… doing laundry feels good… sitting in bed while writing and watching the rain feels so very good! Life has been busy since we’ve been home…
*Last night we took the kids to the Blackeyed Peas concert. It was great… so much fun! I can honestly say I never thought I would see Ludacris in concert, but low and behold, he was the opening act. Two guys marching around the stage yelling their raps was interesting.
*This morning I was up at 6 AM and ready to meet my running group. It was pouring rain and 40 degrees out, but we ran. Did I mention I joined Team in Training? I love it!
Now we are off to gamble. I’m going to try to take pictures of the crazies rubbing the machines while we’re there. I have little tolerance for that type of thing and will usually get up and move away. I’ve decided that today I will clean my machine with hand sanitizer and then give it a big ole lick when some nut sits next to me and starts their rubbing, crisscross routine. Perhaps they will move! ;o) Perhaps I won’t get a disease… ha!
If there are typos, please forgive! My computer is about to die and I don't have time to proof! :)
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Kissing the hardwoods, so happy to be home!
I’m home! I haven’t blogged in a week and that’s bad. If I want to be a serious writer, I need to write every day no matter where I am or what I’m doing. I tried… that’s all I can say. This was the most exhausting vacation I’ve had in a good long while. Totally different from our cruise… on the cruise we had four relaxing days at sea, and the excursions we took when the ship docked were beach excursions. The wife and I would sit on our balcony for hours and watch the waves go by, then we’d go sit on the beach and watch more waves go by! On this trip we were caught up in the waves of people on the streets of New York, in the stores of New York, in the hotel… wow. Busy, busy, busy, run, run run… I am so happy to be home! The babies, Callie and Calvin, our Maltese, are very happy to have us home too. They missed us terribly!
Okay… I’m completely wiped out, so I’ll leave this blog short for the night. I have some great stories to tell about the trip… no worries, you won’t hear all about the wonderful touristy things we did… that would be like subjecting you to an hour long slide show. Those types of things don’t happen here!
Okay… I’m completely wiped out, so I’ll leave this blog short for the night. I have some great stories to tell about the trip… no worries, you won’t hear all about the wonderful touristy things we did… that would be like subjecting you to an hour long slide show. Those types of things don’t happen here!
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
The Ripple Effect
This is going to be a repost of a blog I wrote a LONG time ago on another site. I didn’t save many of those last blogs because they were beginning to border on dark. I was going through such a hard time… literally falling apart. I learned a lot about myself during that period, and the lessons came from moments such as the one I’m about to post. Though I didn’t walk away with all of the answers, it was one of the few moments my heart didn’t ache.
I’ll never forget this day…
I've been participating in some self therapy... trying to "throw away" this swirl of emotions that seems to keep me from feeling as if I have any control at all over my life.
The Therapy: I collect a handful of rocks, all different sizes. Every rock represents something negative that needs to be let go of. I hold each rock in my hand and think hard about what that particular rock represents. After I’m sure of what I’m tossing away, I throw it into the lake, watch it hit the water, and sink. It's interesting to watch the effect the rock has on the water, because that is the exact same effect that negative feeling has on your life. It causes a ripple effect. At first the ripple is right around where the rock hits, but then it spreads... the ripple gets bigger, then smaller ripples form around the larger one.
Once the ripples spread to such great proportions, how do you go about ridding yourself of the effects? That is the question I'm dealing with. I sit by the lake on weekends and toss rocks, leaves, whatever I can find. Ha! I write blogs... a lot of them. I want to let it go. You know the song... "Just let it go, let it roll right off your shoulders..." This need to let it go... tonight... I cling to that need. Why can't I just let it go? Then I had another thought… I don't want to be another person's ripples. I mean... seriously, as I threw those rocks, I realized almost every single one of them had some hurt feeling caused by someone in my life, and let’s be honest here, my own feelings of inadequacy. Maybe that's just me because the people in my life ARE my life. I want to be everything to them, but they haven’t been everything to me.
Yesterday, while I was throwing my rocks into the lake, there was a kid out there playing his guitar. It was very peaceful...
I was throwing some pretty big rocks... I try closing my eyes right now and imagining the sound of the biggest rock hitting the water... I imagine the ripples... I imagine the breeze and the guitar... but I still feel that rock inside of me... it's not enough.
Eventually, it was enough. I had a lot of days such as the one described here, and a lot of chaos too. I was going out, drinking, trying to please and impress, only to find myself more alone than ever before. I look around now… I see my sweet puppy sleeping peacefully at my feet, and my sweet, sick wife sleeping next to me. I hear my kids call my wife “mother”… my, my how life can change when we take a chance. I made myself a promise… I’ll expect more, give more, and never, ever forget the rough road behind me. I’ll never take this love for granted. I’m so thankful for my family… for the love, and for every smile we share. I know that life isn’t always a bowl of cherries and that we need to savor each sweet bite!
I’ll never forget this day…
I've been participating in some self therapy... trying to "throw away" this swirl of emotions that seems to keep me from feeling as if I have any control at all over my life.
The Therapy: I collect a handful of rocks, all different sizes. Every rock represents something negative that needs to be let go of. I hold each rock in my hand and think hard about what that particular rock represents. After I’m sure of what I’m tossing away, I throw it into the lake, watch it hit the water, and sink. It's interesting to watch the effect the rock has on the water, because that is the exact same effect that negative feeling has on your life. It causes a ripple effect. At first the ripple is right around where the rock hits, but then it spreads... the ripple gets bigger, then smaller ripples form around the larger one.
Once the ripples spread to such great proportions, how do you go about ridding yourself of the effects? That is the question I'm dealing with. I sit by the lake on weekends and toss rocks, leaves, whatever I can find. Ha! I write blogs... a lot of them. I want to let it go. You know the song... "Just let it go, let it roll right off your shoulders..." This need to let it go... tonight... I cling to that need. Why can't I just let it go? Then I had another thought… I don't want to be another person's ripples. I mean... seriously, as I threw those rocks, I realized almost every single one of them had some hurt feeling caused by someone in my life, and let’s be honest here, my own feelings of inadequacy. Maybe that's just me because the people in my life ARE my life. I want to be everything to them, but they haven’t been everything to me.
Yesterday, while I was throwing my rocks into the lake, there was a kid out there playing his guitar. It was very peaceful...
I was throwing some pretty big rocks... I try closing my eyes right now and imagining the sound of the biggest rock hitting the water... I imagine the ripples... I imagine the breeze and the guitar... but I still feel that rock inside of me... it's not enough.
Eventually, it was enough. I had a lot of days such as the one described here, and a lot of chaos too. I was going out, drinking, trying to please and impress, only to find myself more alone than ever before. I look around now… I see my sweet puppy sleeping peacefully at my feet, and my sweet, sick wife sleeping next to me. I hear my kids call my wife “mother”… my, my how life can change when we take a chance. I made myself a promise… I’ll expect more, give more, and never, ever forget the rough road behind me. I’ll never take this love for granted. I’m so thankful for my family… for the love, and for every smile we share. I know that life isn’t always a bowl of cherries and that we need to savor each sweet bite!
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
American Idol, I wanna, wanna, wanna be one!
I want to be an American Idol. I want to sing and play the guitar just like Crystal Bowsersock and Lilly Scott, and, and, and… I want to be famous! I practice in the car all the time. I’ve accidently given many live performances. This happens when you’re singing at the top of your lungs and forget the sunroof is open. One day, a car full of men actually clapped for me as we sat in traffic. It was one small moment of fame that I’ll never forget… I’m sure those men won’t forget it either!
There once was a time when (there’s that old-age phrase again) I would never have watched shows like “The Bachelor” and “American Idol,” but the wife and kids love these shows. I put my foot down as far as “Dancing With The Stars” and “The Bachelorette.” You know, I had no idea people actually made a living staring in reality TV shows. I would rather star in reality TV shows as compared to those KY commercials. They crack me up! Have you ever seen them? I think a KY commercial should have been featured during the Super Bowl!
I’m sure everyone can tell I’m pretty wound up right now. We leave for New York Thursday evening and I’m so excited. I love to fly… I love road trips… I love to go, go, go! I’m going to try to set up my mobile blogging to see how that goes. I’m also trying to work out the kinks in my schedule so I can write more. It’s important to me to have the time to write, and right now, I just don’t have it. I’m sure people think I have all the time in the world with me being a housewife with older children, but this couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m always going, and I don’t want my housewife chores to suffer. Then I would have all kinds of guilt for not working. I have this major back-up of blogs too. I’m not quite sure how to put them all out here… I promise they’ll be chock-full of entertainment once I actually get them posted! I hope everyone has a wonderful Wednesday! Ahhhhh… there’s the teacher coming out in me. Did you know I used to teach? Of course not, because I haven’t posted the blogs yet! Ha!
There once was a time when (there’s that old-age phrase again) I would never have watched shows like “The Bachelor” and “American Idol,” but the wife and kids love these shows. I put my foot down as far as “Dancing With The Stars” and “The Bachelorette.” You know, I had no idea people actually made a living staring in reality TV shows. I would rather star in reality TV shows as compared to those KY commercials. They crack me up! Have you ever seen them? I think a KY commercial should have been featured during the Super Bowl!
I’m sure everyone can tell I’m pretty wound up right now. We leave for New York Thursday evening and I’m so excited. I love to fly… I love road trips… I love to go, go, go! I’m going to try to set up my mobile blogging to see how that goes. I’m also trying to work out the kinks in my schedule so I can write more. It’s important to me to have the time to write, and right now, I just don’t have it. I’m sure people think I have all the time in the world with me being a housewife with older children, but this couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m always going, and I don’t want my housewife chores to suffer. Then I would have all kinds of guilt for not working. I have this major back-up of blogs too. I’m not quite sure how to put them all out here… I promise they’ll be chock-full of entertainment once I actually get them posted! I hope everyone has a wonderful Wednesday! Ahhhhh… there’s the teacher coming out in me. Did you know I used to teach? Of course not, because I haven’t posted the blogs yet! Ha!
Monday, March 8, 2010
18 with 22 years of experience!
I’m not forty yet… I’m not old! I can think this all day long, but the fact of the matter is, there are times when I’m not sure if I’m showing my age or my dorky side… hell, maybe it’s both. I remember when Fergie’s song London Bridge came out. I truly thought Fergie was Sarah, Duchess of York. I mean, I hadn’t heard of the Black Eye Pea’s Fergie, and suddenly someone named Fergie was singing about the London Bridge… it seemed possible to me. Duchess of York… married/divorced to Queen Elizabeth’s second son… They connect, yes? This was a long time ago, but it was the first time I realized I am not always completely “with it.”
Now:
* I’m singing 80’s songs in the car and forcing my children to listen to 80’s on 8. There are times I will switch it to 40’s on 4… the kids actually like that!
*I’m gaining weight. There once was a time when (this particular phrase is a sign of old age) I could starve myself all day in order to make my stomach flat for my night on the town. Now I go to the gym, hit a whole machine of tennis balls on the court, and make extra trips up and down the stairs, all to no avail.
*I’m more than likely menopausal… my moods have been up and down and I’m hot flashing all over the place… especially at night. This makes it very hard for me to get any sleep! Bags under my eyes do NOT help things.
*I’m struggling to maneuver my way through web sites like Twitter and BlogSpot… I’m frustrated that I can’t change my font on Twitter and that I can’t figure out how to better personalize my blogs with awesome backgrounds and pretty colors!
*I’m not the cool mom… I take my daughter’s phone, computer, and iTouch away as punishment for lying and other things I’ll get into when I start my second Blogspot called “Oh crap, it’s a girl!”
The good news is… I’m not wearing scarves to keep my hair in place, I don’t drive a minivan… just a Mini , and I’m at an age that enables me to embrace my dorky side in so many ways. Life is good!
Now:
* I’m singing 80’s songs in the car and forcing my children to listen to 80’s on 8. There are times I will switch it to 40’s on 4… the kids actually like that!
*I’m gaining weight. There once was a time when (this particular phrase is a sign of old age) I could starve myself all day in order to make my stomach flat for my night on the town. Now I go to the gym, hit a whole machine of tennis balls on the court, and make extra trips up and down the stairs, all to no avail.
*I’m more than likely menopausal… my moods have been up and down and I’m hot flashing all over the place… especially at night. This makes it very hard for me to get any sleep! Bags under my eyes do NOT help things.
*I’m struggling to maneuver my way through web sites like Twitter and BlogSpot… I’m frustrated that I can’t change my font on Twitter and that I can’t figure out how to better personalize my blogs with awesome backgrounds and pretty colors!
*I’m not the cool mom… I take my daughter’s phone, computer, and iTouch away as punishment for lying and other things I’ll get into when I start my second Blogspot called “Oh crap, it’s a girl!”
The good news is… I’m not wearing scarves to keep my hair in place, I don’t drive a minivan… just a Mini , and I’m at an age that enables me to embrace my dorky side in so many ways. Life is good!
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Friday, March 5, 2010
Nurturing addiction... sick!
I know what kind of day it will be when I find myself sitting in front of my computer analyzing what’s happening on the screen in front me. I’m staring at my restaurant… did I mention I was a business owner? Don’t get excited, I’m not a true business owner. I’m nurturing my addiction to a Facebook application called Café World. Today I was watching the little computerized people wander in and out of my restaurant, Asian Zen. I’ve been told it should be called the Tacky Jap. Hopefully no one is offended by this terminology and if you are, get over it.
Anyway… back to Café World. I was mesmerized by the little computer people wandering in and out of my restaurant, some of them with little names above their heads representing those who are Facebook friends. Then I noticed something else. My restaurant was not running efficiently. The waitresses had no idea what they were doing. When the little people sat down at a table with a waitress, that waitress didn’t wait on them. The waitress on the other side of the restaurant attempted to take care of them, but by the time she made it across the room with the food (she seriously took the longest way around possible) the customer had left and I lost money! Unbelievable!! I wanted to fire my waitresses… ALL of them!
Over all there’s an embarrassing sense of satisfaction that comes from running my little computerized restaurant. I like clicking on it and seeing that the food “I” prepared is sparkling and ready to be served. Then the oven is miraculously cleaned and I’m ready to prepare another fantastic dish. I look adorable in my little kimono, and the little gold coins rack up until I’m ready to redecorate or expand. If only life were like this… I’m talking about the visuals. I’m a visual person. I think this is why I love the casino so much. I can watch the money… usually I’m watching it go away, but there are times I get lucky!
Back to the main topic… yes, there was a point to this! I’m feeling completely useless today. It’s Friday… I don’t have anything scheduled except a tennis court at 2. I’ve kept up with my wifely duties, and the housekeeper comes in an hour (I know, I know). The dogs are lazy, the wife is on a conference call, and the kids are at their dad’s. I have four word documents open… one is the book I keep plugging away on, the other two are blogs I’ve started, but have gotten pulled away from, and then of course this one. The good thing is I’m no longer staring at the computer screen. Now it’s the television. I want to know what’s being said, but am currently unable to figure out the sound system… so I’m practicing my lip reading skills. Surely those will come in handy one day.
Oh look, 1 minute before my mac-n-cheese is sparkling!
Anyway… back to Café World. I was mesmerized by the little computer people wandering in and out of my restaurant, some of them with little names above their heads representing those who are Facebook friends. Then I noticed something else. My restaurant was not running efficiently. The waitresses had no idea what they were doing. When the little people sat down at a table with a waitress, that waitress didn’t wait on them. The waitress on the other side of the restaurant attempted to take care of them, but by the time she made it across the room with the food (she seriously took the longest way around possible) the customer had left and I lost money! Unbelievable!! I wanted to fire my waitresses… ALL of them!
Over all there’s an embarrassing sense of satisfaction that comes from running my little computerized restaurant. I like clicking on it and seeing that the food “I” prepared is sparkling and ready to be served. Then the oven is miraculously cleaned and I’m ready to prepare another fantastic dish. I look adorable in my little kimono, and the little gold coins rack up until I’m ready to redecorate or expand. If only life were like this… I’m talking about the visuals. I’m a visual person. I think this is why I love the casino so much. I can watch the money… usually I’m watching it go away, but there are times I get lucky!
Back to the main topic… yes, there was a point to this! I’m feeling completely useless today. It’s Friday… I don’t have anything scheduled except a tennis court at 2. I’ve kept up with my wifely duties, and the housekeeper comes in an hour (I know, I know). The dogs are lazy, the wife is on a conference call, and the kids are at their dad’s. I have four word documents open… one is the book I keep plugging away on, the other two are blogs I’ve started, but have gotten pulled away from, and then of course this one. The good thing is I’m no longer staring at the computer screen. Now it’s the television. I want to know what’s being said, but am currently unable to figure out the sound system… so I’m practicing my lip reading skills. Surely those will come in handy one day.
Oh look, 1 minute before my mac-n-cheese is sparkling!
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