80 MPH Highway

It feels as if it's been forever since I've been able to sit down and smell the coffee, or drink the coffee in my case! My coffee has been in a to-go cup on an 80 MPH highway with no rest stops. Today will be different. I've declared today, a day of nothingness. I will take the kids to school, get the wife her coffee, come right back home, and sit. That's right, sit. Maybe I'll watch television, maybe I'll play on my computer, I'll catch up on blogs, I'll make a Doctor appointment or for the kids and dogs, but nothingness is my theme.

I have to say I was a little put out with the wife last night. I told her that I wanted us to just do nothing all day Monday. She said, "Isn't that what we do every day?" Really?!?!?!?! If that's the case then I need some serious vitamins, because I'm exhausted. Nothing all day... pffffft!!

I also want to get my "Typical Day" picture blog posted. I really hope the pictures reflect my typical day, and that the chaos of the past few weeks isn't the new theme. Talk about aging fast if that's the case....whew!

Let me tell you a short story of what chaos does to a brain that is very OCD yet ADD at the same time. The kids' homecoming was this past week. We went to get them from school on Friday and dropped them at home so the girl could start getting ready for the game. Because she's on Drill Team, she has to really do the make-up and hair up in Toddler and Tiara fashion. We dropped them off , and the girl realized she'd forgotten her duffle bag. The wife and I went back to the school, picked up her duffle bag, AND a chair that she needed for the evening's routine(apparently that had been forgotten as well). Then the wife and I, or I should say, I went into several different stores to look for leather twine for the belt for the girl's costume, because she'd lost hers. The wife drove me to the stores but chose to wait it out in the car. Anyway, I finally found the twine, we stopped for fast food because we were in a hurry, got home, and I curled the girls hair. The wife then took her back to the school, and it was my responsibility to go to the store to buy food for the tailgate party the school was having after the game. The boy and I headed to the store, with the girls mum in tow (she forgot it so I figured I would have the store refresh it). I was feeling relief as we checked out. I was proud of myself for having her mum refreshed, having the food bought, and remembering to get cash for the football game. The boy and left, and got home in record time. I pulled into the driveway, got out of the car, grabbed the mum, and told the boy to get the food. He looked at me and asked... "Where is it?" YES, I left the store and the three bags of groceries I bought too!! ALL of them. We didn't even go in the house. I knew I'd hear it from the wife. We got back in the car, and drove back to the store. The clerk remembered me and we had a good laugh. She told me she had never had anyone forget ALL of their groceries before. She hadn't met me yet!! I swear, I really wanted a drink after all of that. Hell, the clerk probably thought I had already been drinking!!

So yes, hopefully things will calm down this week, and my Monday of nothingness will only benefit my crazy brain in the long run!

Sunday Chimes (or rants)

Today, I'm going to write my post before I go catch up with everyone. I have to, because for some reason, my brain doesn't function as well, when the wife is up and moving around. Mainly because when she's up, I feel like I need to be doing stuff. I know this isn't the case, but lately, I'm having issues. This is a huge rant, so I apologize, but I need to get it out.

I know you guys have read this before, but I am so tired of the judgement people hold over me, because I "don't work." Here's an announcement for all of those who feel I'm using the wife (after this long? really?) because I stay home. First of all, I love her, and would do anything for her. Her happiness matters to me, and I want her to do what makes her feel good. In all honesty, she doesn't want to do anything as far as work. She's put her time in, and made enough to retire on. That's what she wants to be... retired. The problem is, the wife is a "bean counter." Every trip to the store, every payment made toward utilities, or what-not, is another bunch of beans gone from a pot that isn't being replenished with new beans. It's hard to enjoy being retired when you're continually counting the beans. Plus she's got a tremendous amount of guilt because she's retired at such a young age. I see this and tell her she needs to do something, not because it would make me happy, but because I'm hoping it will relieve some of her stress about those beans. Or, does she want me to do something ... would that help relieve her stress?

She wants me here with her... Maybe this is what people don't understand. Could this be everyone's thought process:

Why do you need to be with each other all day? I work, my husband works, our kids go to school, a PUBLIC school. What's the problem with this? Why can't you two live like this? Why are your kids in private school when you're in a great district? Why is she at home, when she's perfectly capable of working? Why are you retired, when you should be starting another business?

First of all, let me start off by saying, we do what we do. We don't think we're better than others because those kids are in a private school. They're there for a reason. The girl had an opportunity to be on drill team, and to be in a small school environment that would hopefully allow her the chance to come out of her shell and make friends, so she can experience what a normal senior high school year is like. The wife loves her and wants that for her. I do too, but ultimately, because the wife IS the one paying for this, it's her decision. HER decision is, and would be respected by me, no matter what she she decided. NOT because she's the one with the money, but because I love her, and I know how she is with the beans. The boy is there for the same reasons. When you have kids who aren't social, and who might have a bit of Aspergers going on, you want to put them in the best position possible to help them succeed in life. For their happiness AND yours, because God help us if they're living with us in their adulthood.

Next, we love being with each other. We've waited a very long damn time, and have both been through hell, to finally find the happiness we both deserve, and we're going to enjoy every last minute of it. Even the doldrum days of laundry, dishes, and kids being pains in the a**es! ALL of it!!

YES, I am capable of working, and I'm degreed to do so in a job that won't ever make the kind of money that the wife made, but would help keep us out of those beans. It would also be a job that would have me gone from 7am until 6pm or later. Teaching is not an 8:30 am, until the kids are gone, kind of job. I was in my classroom until the janitors kicked me out at 9pm, much of the time. Some teachers don't do this, but I did things the hard way. I made sure every child's work was customized to fit their level. I made sure my centers were set up to fit each child's individual needs. My classroom was always busy, and a lot noisier than the others, but my kids were moving around, and learning at their own pace, in ways they understood. This required a lot of change and set up each day. It required a lot of individual time with each student. I wasn't able to grade or teach in an industrialized way the other teachers were trying to get me to do (for my own sake), because I spent every minute of my classroom time with those students.

The point of this is, I would be gone for long hours, and again, the wife wants me here, AND guess what, I want to be here. This does not mean I'm using her. It means I love spending time with her, and I am so thankful for the life we have. I do not, nor will I ever, take it for granted. Like the wife, I've worked my a** off . From the time I was 16, I've worked two jobs to support myself, because I was on my own. I met the ex husband, I worked two jobs. I had kids, I worked two jobs. I got divorced, I worked one main job, and many odd jobs that would allow me to have the kids with me, AND was finishing school. I met someone, I worked full-time, and long hours with no over-time. I supported us when the she lost her job due to layoffs in the newspaper industry. I will not ever, EVER have a retirement fund. Even if I went back to work and worked until I was 65, I won't have it.

So, lets try to change our thinking to this: "Wow, she's given up a lot. What if they end up not making it in the next few years. She won't have anything at all. She must really love her, to give up that little bit of security (because let's face it, a teacher's retirement wouldn't make me rich even if I was working now, but it would be something), to stay home, and take care of her (which is what I do because again I LOVE her). What a huge sacrifice, to think that if they don't make it, she could end up working  odd jobs way past the age of 65, just to eat. God help her if her health fails. Then what?" So say I'm using the wife all you want, but don't you think I sit here and luxuriate myself in the grandness of our life.

As far as my business idea... I want this to work and I need it to work. I feel like it will because I have such a passion for it. The wife supports it. I love her for the faith she must have in ME to finance it, BUT should she decide tomorrow not to do it, then I will still love her, and take care of her, and be here, because I don't want her to invest her retirement in this and have it not work. I don't want her to worry over it. The main thing I do not want is for it to come between us. She is way more important to me, and I can figure something else out.

There it is... my rant. I had to get it out. The wife went to bed feeling depressed last night, not because of me, but because she needs to feel like she has the support of others. I hate when she's sad, and I feel guilty for it. It's like when your kids get their feelings hurt at school. What can you do to make it better for them? I don't know. If I did, I would do it. She has a good heart, and she is so loyal... to her family, to her friends.  She reads every single one of my blogs, so I'll tell her this... I will back you and support you no matter what, because you are loyal, and you are good, and guess what? I don't expect anything from you, but your love.

The End...

Later today, I will post a picture blog of "A Day in Our Life." I worked on it all week last week, and drove the family crazy taking pictures of them. None of the wife... she doesn't want her picture taken. Soooo, that is for later.

Thank you for making your way through this... I love you guys!

The Loss of a Child and The Blogging Community

On this day of mourning and remembering those lost in our Nation's tragedy, someone else is mourning. She's mourning the sudden loss of her 12 year old son. I can't imagine anything more horrific.

I read about Anna See's loss through a blog, and what I find touching is how the blogging community has patched together this wonderful quilt of words, offering an outpouring of love and support, to Anna See and her family.

These are people who may or may not have met Anna at blogging conventions, but they follow her blog. They've gotten to know her and her children through posts, and they are mourning with her, the loss of a beautiful child.


The Blogging Quilt:

I follow a blog, Vodka Mom. Her blog linked me to The Big Piece of Cake. At the bottom of this blog, you will find the Blogging Quilt, at least this is what I'm calling it. What you'll find are several links to posts for Anna, each one full of poignant memories of a child people had gotten to know through online blog posts or in person. Each post brought tears to my eyes... tears of sadness for this mother's loss, tears of heartbreak for the loss of the future this child would have had. What a wonderful, lasting tribute from a community of bloggers to a grieving mother... words of grace woven into a quilt of support... The Bloggers' Quilt.

*I'm not posting links to Anna See's blog, because you'll find them in the other posts. Her blog wasn't one I had heard of before this tragic event, and I am maintaining my distance out of respect for Anna and her web of support. I will post the link that other's have posted if you would like to do something for Anna and her family... Her family has requested that donations be made to Samaritan's Purse.

I hope everyone has a beautiful day... and once again let us remember how fragile we all are, and live and love to the fullest extent!

9-10-11

Counting up... much better than counting down, yes? Counting up and looking forward. That's what we should all be doing, but tomorrow will be 9-11-11... there will be no moving forward tomorrow. Time will stop and we'll be looking back. We'll be thinking about the thousands of lives lost. We'll be pulling images from our memories of people jumping from high rises. We'll be worrying there's more to come.

It's so sad to me that we really haven't learned how to handle each other, even after such a tragedy. The fact that they aren't allowing clergy at the memorial service speaks volumes about how little we've learned. The reasoning is understood. If they allow one member of a certain faith, they would have to include members of all faiths. There simply isn't enough room to accommodate all who want to attend.

There isn't even enough room to accommodate some of those who should be there. The policemen and firefighters... the ones who will respond should another tragedy strike. It's simply another tragedy... honoring those whose lives were lost, without our everyday heroes in attendance. Unless they have somehow managed to work it out.

I was reading a CNN story earlier about a Muslim family who lost a husband and father. The widow had a baby boy 2 days later. A baby who is now 10 and has no memories of his father, because he never met him. I hated reading about this family having to deal with the backlash of an act committed by people who shared their religious beliefs. As the widow stated, these horrific acts committed in the name of Islam, were acted out by extremists. Not all Muslims are extremists. Just like all Baptists aren't hypocritical bigots. ::shrug::  The Baptist church in our town doesn't even claim it's Baptist because of the bad rap Baptists get. How is this okay??

Religion is so divisive. SO many have died, decade, after decade, after decade, in the name of Religion, in the name of God. I will stand behind my belief that God doesn't want this of us. I would love to see members of all faiths coming together because we are all one... we are all human, and we are so incredibly fragile.

I pray nothing happens tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after that, and I hope everyone has a beautiful Sunday, spent living life to its fullest and loving others for their differences as much as for their similarities!

We build such beautiful places dedicated to worship, why are we unable to build bridges of understanding and acceptance?

A view of New York from the top of the world.

She was once the color of a shiny new penny

God bless America, God bless this world.

 The firefighter who wore this didn't survive. Many were treated in this church on this very bench. 

The Past...

I've done quite a bit of writing about my every day life, my beliefs, my jealousies, my craziness, my restlessness, etc, etc etc... and I've had some very loyal readers. They stick with me through all of it, and for that I'm grateful.

I don't think I ever really gave the reason behind the creation of my blog. It started as a writing exercise. I needed to write everyday, because I had a great book idea, but needed my warm-up writing first. I wanted to blog about my life, because I felt ostracized and out of sorts. I wanted people to see that the wife and I were really just like everyone else. Dealing with kids, money, neighbors, jobs (I am a certified teacher and taught for many, many years). I felt like being a house-wife to a woman was unacceptable to most people for two reasons. One was obvious... we're GAY. The other reason, maybe not so obvious, but voiced just the same. "Why isn't she working? Why is she living off of you?" If the wife were a man, these questions more than likely wouldn't have been floating around. It would be acceptable. I was having such a hard time dealing with this... I just wanted acceptance. I wanted the wife to voice what she always told me... "I want you here."I still deal with these issues, but that's for another post.

I wanted to talk about something else tonight. I said I started my blog for a reason, but I rarely discuss being a lesbian, and what exactly led me down this path. I read a blog called Born This Way. In this blog, they have guest posts... people who tell about their lives as children and how they knew, even at very young ages, they were gay. I love this blog, the stories, and the cute childhood pictures.

Personally I don't think I could write a post for this particular blog. I don't think I was born this way. I look back at the very young version of me, and see a little girl traumatized from life's offerings. I didn't like boys... I didn't like girls. I didn't like anyone. I wasn't angry... I was withdrawn. I wanted to be invisible. As I got older, I didn't date... I had no desire. That was the problem though, right? I really had no desire. When I did have crushes on boys, they were older, and big, like giant teddy bears. I still didn't really date until I met the ex-husband. I was 21 and thought I knew enough not to repeat my mother's mistakes. I didn't. He was abusive. It started 3 months after we got married, and I still remember thinking... how stupid, I can't get out of this now. "We're married!"

I'm not going to blame the ex's abuse for my lesbianism, though it has been easier at times to let people think, "Oh, she's gay because she was in an abusive relationship with a man." If I hadn't already suffered a traumatic childhood, if I had any inkling of sexual desire for him, then I could have possibly blamed him, but I was screwed up before he came along. He would tell me I wasn't a real woman, because I did NOT want to have sex with him. Nothing about it was pleasant for me. Believe me, I was hoping that would change. Then I wondered if it was because he was abusive... that maybe had I had someone who wasn't an ass, maybe I would enjoy sex.

One night he was watching Howard Stern... I think he still has a radio show. Anyway, Howard loved lesbians, and he happened to have a couple on the show. These women didn't "look" like lesbians. They were pretty, long hair, manicures, dresses. Howard was paying this couple to let another woman have "sex" with them because this woman always wondered what it would be like to be with another woman. I sat down... wow. I had never wondered that until I saw those two women, looking like that, saying they were lesbians.

After the ex-husband and I parted ways,  I went through a rebellious stage. I got my belly button pierced, because I had abs of steel and was going to show them off. When the kids left to go with him for a month in the summer, I joined a wine tasting club and drank every single day they were gone. I began exploring online chat rooms. I "dated" a basketball coach, who was awesomely pretty. Dated is in parenthesis because we never really "did" anything, but I was in awe of her. I met some of the onliners who lived locally, but ended up dating those who lived in other states. Why? Probably because it was easier. I still wasn't sold on the lifestyle. I didn't want to be labeled and I certainly didn't want to date someone who would make us stick out like a sore thumb. I was totally attracted to women, but during my first sexual experience with a woman, the thought running through my head was "I am going to Hell..." I was not overly religious, which made this thought even more disconcerting. After that, though, I had no problems. I was a real woman... just not with men.

Living this lifestyle hasn't been easy. I've felt so incredibly lonely, so sad. There were times spent crying, on my knees, asking God to please, please help me. The scary thing was, sometimes I didn't know what I was asking Him to help me with. I've made so many mistakes and I've hurt people by not being honest with myself about what I wanted, and what I needed. By not being honest about my fears of not being able to love the way I needed to be loved. I've learned so much... about love. REAL love, and honesty, and truth, and life.

While I can't say my life is perfect, I am willing to bet it's pretty close. I do still have days, as you all read, that have me ranting. I also have lonely days, and sad days, though, I probably couldn't pin down a reason.

I feel very blessed to be where I am right now. I know that not everyone is able to live their lives as freely as the wife and I are. I know there are people out there who struggle with "doing the right thing," who are lonely, who need more than what they have. I admire these people... they're strong, and they will find their way.  

Bad Dreams and Parental Issues

I woke up Monday morning in the midst of a bad dream that had so much heavy breathing, I thought there must have been a huge orgy going on right outside my bedroom window. I imagined peering through the blinds and seeing tons of naked people frolicking in the lake, the waters so low, I could see everything. Yuck! I was not in the mood for naked people... especially frolicking naked people.

Surprisingly, I realized the heavy breathing was everyone in the DFW Metroplex releasing a huge sigh of relief at the cooler temperatures we awoke to that morning. I could hear choruses of  "Hallelujah!" ringing through the streets of Dallas. Now if only we could get some rain. As we celebrate our cooler weather, thousands of homes are burning to the ground, people have lost their lives, and once again, animal rescue missions abound. It's sad. I think God is punishing us. First, for sending Bush to the Presidential Podium, and now for offering up Rick Perry. I will not ask what's next. Anything is better than Michelle Bachmann. I think. Where is Romney? I read he had a job plan. Honestly, I have no idea.

Okay, I'm done with that... when I listed my categories of ignorance, I should have included "Blissfully Ignorant." That's me. I prefer not to know.

Now on to something else I have no control over. OUR children. Why oh why do they torture me so. I'm not sure what started this particular discussion in the car, but the wife asked me to list 10 things I love about the girl. I must have been on a rampage about something she did. I said "I can't list ten things I love about either one of those damn kids... that's why it's called unconditional love." I mean c'mon... I love them because, over all, they're pretty good. The boy is smart, the girl is talented when it comes to writing and photography. NOT drawing... we saw those pictures. They're both funny, they can be somewhat supportive at times. They aren't into drugs, they aren't violent, and they aren't pregnant. Thank God the boy isn't pregnant... although we could probably get rich with book deals if he were.

They're growing up, but into what, I have no idea. The boy doesn't talk to people, not even people he knows. The wife has stated that from now on the boy is going to talk to people, and that he'll know she's about to go ape sh*t on him when she throws out the phrase "Do I need to shove my hand up your a** and be your ventriloquist?" That creates an interesting picture. Another interesting picture: Me driving down the road questioning whether or not I have a child with Tourette's... all I hear is this man-voice shouting out phrases he's repeating from his sister. Really?!?! The wife says he's happy when he's doing that.

The girl seems to be on the path of being a follower and she is continually attracted to the kids who are in trouble. She lies to me about everything... and why do I put up with this? "Oh we need to keep the lines of communication open." Screw that, she needs to grow up... she's seventeen and it's time she starts acting like an adult.. a trustworthy adult. Pfffttt, what a bunch of BS.

Neither one of them will stand up for themselves unless it's me telling them they need to do something. They don't do anything around the house without having to be told umpteen times, and they avoid, yes AVOID, anything difficult.  They want, want, want want, want... They don't say "yes ma'am," or "sir" to anyone. You can't even get a "yes" out of the boy... it's "Yeah..." or "sure." SO frustrating!

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE... I do love my children, but it's now time to see results. It's time to see the fruits of my labor. Time for the return. Yep... that's right.

And now, back to my laundry!

The Realm Of Ignorance

Well, lets start with me... I'm feeling quite ignorant in this new blog format, but I'll adjust. As long as I can find my favorite blogs, and where I'm supposed to post my own blogs, all is good.

I want to apologize for not responding to the posted comments on my page these past few posts. I love your comments, and I truly appreciate the people who read my posts, as boring as they may be at times. I've just been nutty busy, as I'm sure all of you totally understand. There is one blogger who wrote a post on how to know if your blog is boring. She said if she isn't writing about your blog, then it must be boring. I suppose mine is just that, but I'll accept this fact and keep on writing. I'm sure something I post will interest a few. I have all types of politically charged stuff I could write. I also have ALL kinds of stuff on the wife I could write... as she's been reminding me all morning. She tells me my posts are getting dry... that I need to post more about her. Really? I know... it's all about her.

This post is about the Realm of Ignorance that surrounds all of us. No matter where we live, no matter what our culture... there is a Realm of Ignorance, and hopefully we are on the outside looking in. No Wifey, this isn't about you, I am NOT calling you ignorant... unless of course you fit into one of these categories.

The Hick: The hick is a person who "don't mean no harm." They have very little exposure to the world around them, as they've created their own world in their backwoods community. They don't know about Sarah Palin, they don't care about the tropical storm depression moving over the great state of Florida, and they don't keep abreast of current events in Egypt. They take care of their own, and they smile at you in sympathy, thinking you're just about the strangest person to grace their world with your capri jeans with the holes, that you actually spent money on. Maybe the hick isn't so ignorant after all.

The Redneck: The redneck is one to be scared of. They have strong ideas about how people should be, based on what they call tradition. They're usually full of anger and it's directed at anyone who is different. They function better when in a group. They will prove to you why you are inferior in any way possible. If you don't speak English, if your skin is a different color, if you don't like men, OR women, they will take you out, and drag you behind a truck just to teach you a lesson. Luckily the Redneck can be spotted a mile off, because they are quite obnoxious, and they tend to have a scraggly look about them that just can't be polished, even in their Sunday clothes.

The Educated Ignorant: These are the ones we really worry about. They are educated, which gives them a certain amount of respect from those who aren't as educated. They are very good at manipulation, and they are good at twisting words, even those from the Bible, to fit their own agendas. They flood our great country with strong ideas about equality, who deserves it and who doesn't. They preach hate through words of "love." The educated ignorant could also be called hypocrites, though they would deny that... but anyone who feels they have the right to decide another's life path, is surely a hypocrite. They build themselves up so high, that they think their beliefs and choices are the only way to live, yet faced with the same decisions they closet themselves and their drinking, their drug use, their infidelities. The problem with these people is you never know who they are.

I have a low boiling point for ignorance... especially the judgmental type of ignorance that stems from those who have placed themselves on self-built pedestals, and we sure are being bombarded with it right now in the political arenas. I turn the television off. I avoid reading news articles. I stay away from situations that may cause me to have a boil over. I'm making myself ignorant I suppose. There will be more on boiling over later... me boiling over and the wife not truly understanding my need to keep myself out of situations that may cause this to happen.

I better get going for now. I've got to get to the store. We've got some friends coming over, and we're hoping to take the boat out. I hope everyone has a wonderful Labor Day Sunday... be safe! Tonight, I will read and catch up with all of you, no matter how much I have to drink. ::ahem::

Reality and Reality TV

I can't believe the things they feature on reality television! Tonight I discovered a new show, Livin' for the Apocalypse... I don't like it. These people are nuts. Well, I'll be honest, I was actually quite impressed with at least two of the families. Their operations are ingenious! All I know is I wouldn't want to live on an earth that has been destroyed by an apocalypse. In my opinion, Hell is being stuck underground with limited food supplies, and decreasing amounts of oxygen. I'm probably going to have nightmares.

The other reality show of the evening was The Bachelor Pad. I've been forced to watch the Bachelorette and the Bachelor, and tried to put my foot down as far as this particular show. I just can't help but get pulled in with the wife's excitement. I learned that we're playing catch up as far as the series goes, so we got to watch people get belittled by having eggs full of paint thrown at targets on their backs if others in the "pad" thought they were unattractive, dishonest, etc. It was pretty bad. The best thing about it was that  the three seemingly genuine people were either voted off the show or left by their choice. Now the crazies left, can equally backstab each other.

I'm a reality TV mess, and I'm seemingly getting worse. Oh well...

In other realities, my own for instance, things are a bit odd. As you all know, I've been working out. I've been particularly focused on building my upper body strength, which I believe has led to a pinched nerve.  Now don't get me wrong, I'm not in pain. It's worse than pain... oh trust me, it is. I have this prickly, tingly, intensely itchy sensation, that runs up and down my arm, from elbow to wrist. Scratching doesn't work, but ice does. So tonight I was so desperate, I took two benedryl (so I can sleep), and applied PreparationH cooling gel. I know, PrepH isn't for your arm, but I needed something cooling, something that could imitate ice, I NEEDED relief. Wahhhhh!! It's been almost two weeks and I'm going nuts with this. You have no idea, OR maybe you do. I mean, I did put PrepH on my arm and I'm not ashamed to admit it. Okay, my eyes are droopy now... time to go to bed, because I get to get up and do it all over again tomorrow. I'll update on the business search then!

The Plan

The plan was to get the children to school, get the wife her Starbucks, come home, and write. That's right, no working out today. Things didn't exactly happen as I had planned, but I'm finally sitting here, after a week of no Blogger. I was surprised to come home and even find the wife awake... she likes sleeping in. This morning was the first time in a week that we haven't had visitors, so I suppose she'll have to readjust herself.

I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend last weekend and a wonderful week so far! Mine has been crazy busy with the wife's family being here. We didn't really do anything special, but it sure was exhausting. Exhausting and expensive.

We always go gambling when the wife's mother comes to visit. There was no big win this time around. Ugh... I really hate losing. We go to Oklahoma to gamble, and let me tell you there are some superstitious people there. They rub the machine, tap it, and bang it. That's a lot of OCD. I never saw that type of behavior in Vegas or Mississippi. I'm not much better with my sucky lucky bracelet and ring. I finally found a machine that kept me going on 20.00 for 2 1/2 hours though. I just KNEW I was going to hit it big. I imagined the wife being ready to go. I could see her dragging me out, and me screaming, reaching back for the machine "Noooo, this is it, this is the one... I just KNOW it..." That never happened, thank goodness. It almost happened to her mother though. The wife, her sister, and I were ready to go, but she was crazed. You could see her sneaking up to another machine after telling us she was just going to the restroom, and then we could go. She would sit there, pushing the button, smoking like a chimney, and looking around to make sure we didn't see her.

Going to the Casino isn't exactly pleasurable, add my bad stomach into the mix and it made for a miserable drive home. We didn't get home until 2, I had to be up at 6:30 to get the kids to school, and I was sick, sick, sick. The problem is, I love food. This fact, along with having visitors and eating out, makes it hard for me to stick to a gluten free, lactose free, red meat free, hydrogenated oil free, chemical free, carb free, calorie free, fat free, low sodium (am I missing anything?) diet.

The plan was...

to write more, but I need to get moving. We're going to do some drive-by shopping for commercial spaces today. Fun, fun. We went to look at what we thought was perfect yesterday, but... I hate that word... BUT, there is no parking, it isn't zoned for our type of business, and there's a dilapidated, abandoned home on one side, and an incredibly old funeral home, also up for sale, on the other side. We can work with some of that, but we need the zoning and parking issues to turn in our favor... SO, back to the drawing board, again.