Today has a name, and it isn't Thursday...

It's Chaos!! Yep... it started right away too. Let me start by saying, we have basically created our own chaos here in this house. It's usually a chaos I can deal with gracefully. Well, somewhat so anyway. I mean, how graceful can one be when yelling "bahhhhh" in a growly tone, and throwing a bean-bag with a chain? Seriously, my throat hurts. I think this could damage my vocal chords. Oh, ouch... and I think I pulled a muscle from the continued throwing of the chain-bag. A little cheese with that "whine?"

This morning, I literally dragged my butt out of bed, and out the door with the dogs. Oh MY HELL, it was cold!! The temps dropped dramatically overnight, which you would think would put some pep in my step. It sure did give the dogs some get-up-and-go. They were running nuts, as I stumbled to the coffee pot, the pantry for their potty treat, then up to wake the kids. Back down I came, poured a cup of coffee, and settled in to check my emails, and read... NPR, CNN, and USA Today... now that my bubble has been popped, I'm reading the news again. Much to the wife's dismay. She liked my bubble, because I couldn't rant about the state of the world, since I had no idea what was happening.

The other day I let loose on the way home after hearing Newt Gingrich did or said something stupid as far as gay people, gay marriage, blah blah blah. "They are going to end up putting us in a concentration camp!! They WILL, you just wait...!! Or, or send us down the Gay Trail of Tears... have us live on Gay reservations." Now granted I had gone off the deep end, but I did read a book in which this happened, so I am not the first person to feel this could happen. Remember my blog yesterday about learning from history and not repeating it? Anyway, the wife replies calmly after this rant "Honey, what happened to the bubble... the bubble is a goooood thing....uh huh. Let's not talk about a gay holocaust okay????"

So yeah, my bubble... anyway, I wasn't able to burst the bubble this morning, because the dogs were freakin'  nuts. I'm "bahhhh-ing," and throwing the beanbag-chain (training suggested by the doggie therapist), and whining to myself "I just want to sit, SIT!!" Before I knew it, the boy was downstairs, which is my sign it's time to get dressed, and go.

I went to Starbucks after dropping the kids, almost forgot our drinks because I was talking to the woman behind the counter, got out to the car, and spilled the wife's latte ALL over. ::sigh:: I went back in, ordered another latte (because there would be hell to pay if I went home without it), bought two rolls of paper towels, and some gloves (remember it was cold out and the drink was cold too). As I was walking back out to the car, I could see the latte dripping out from under the door. ::sigh:: I am literally sighing by the way.

When I got home, I immediately heard the dogs barking from their room. I love them but ugh... I sat in the car, read emails, listened to music, and looked at Facebook. I hate that they bark in their room like that, because I know the neighbors hear them. Their piano room is right by our house, and she's always practicing for church (which I was shocked to learn, because I figured someone who cursed at their kids on a regular basis didn't go to church). I finally gave in, but I just wasn't up for dealing with those furry beasts today. I took them out, in the freezing wind, and rather than getting their business done, they ran crazy all over the yard. Luckily I was more stubborn than I was cold. NO ONE was going in until they had done something productive. Brrrrrr!

Then we've got the bird. He bites HARD... I told the wife yesterday that I didn't like the bird, and she looked at me as if I had told her I wanted a "divorce." She loves that bird. I think he's no fun at all. I mean, he bites, and he doesn't really play with anything when he's out of his cage. I loved the birds I had in my past. They've been playful and sweet, and have done funny things. This one bites... and sits on the wife, and pecks at her clothes. She's been watching bird training videos, and today we tried one of the techniques. It didn't work. I'm bleeding, ouch! Okay, maybe there was no blood. Again, more cheese with that "whine?"

This chaos is our own doing... then the teens came home from school. Want, want, want... I stood in the kitchen this afternoon, after preparing my chili for the slow cooker, and stuffed my face with tortilla chips... did I care. NO... pfffffft.

Tomorrow will be calmer. Yep!

Did you know?

Okay...

I'm feeling rather ignorant, but perhaps I shouldn't. I mean, it's not exactly our fault our education is/was censored. I'm not saying this censorship stems from some grand scheme. No, there are a multitude of reasons for censorship. The first reason is that whoever is teaching you, is teaching from their own background, with their personal beliefs ingrained in every lesson. I call this censorship because what they choose to leave out of a lesson, is in fact, based on their opinion of the importance of the information. The second reason for censorship... age appropriate material. Even in college. The third reason for censorship goes along with the first, in that there is SO much to teach, that you must pick and choose the facts. Oh, and the facts you're taught will be the ones you will be tested on when taking standardized tests... in other words, the Government decides what is important enough to know, and what is not.

Luckily the information is out there, and the internet world is more than willing to provide you data on whatever it is you enter in the search bar.

This is all simply background information... what I wanted to talk about is this...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/james-peron/creationism-and-the-marri_b_1177087.html

Creationism and The Marriage Debate. I love what this guy is doing, because he's using intelligence to fight an ignorant belief. A belief that's being used to withhold basic human rights from other human beings. HUMAN BEINGS... that's what we are. We are living, breathing, thinking, feeling, humans who deserve to live and love in happiness, without shame, and judgement. How can this happen? How would it feel for you to have your husband/wife have to wait for the public to vote on whether or not you have the right to get married? How would it feel for you, to have the Pope declare your relationship "a threat to the future of humanity?" I look at my family, and I'm not going to lie or be "humble," when I compare my family to that of others. HOW screwed up can some people be anyway??? How is my wonderful family a threat to humanity, when there are some really "f***ed up people out there, doing horrible things to their kids and families? This was supposed to be in a different post, that I've already put together, and it will be. So....

Stepping off of my soapbox now:

To sum it up, he's gathering facts on the history of marriage, and the reasons behind the sacred union from the beginning of time. He's doing this to prove there is no reason to protect the so called sanctity of marriage when the original reason behind it held no religious importance. I wish him luck in this endeavor, but as long as it's left up to public vote... as long as people, who have no power, are given the most honored power of deciding another's rights... we will remain less than human, with substandard rights.

The next thing I read about that I didn't know existed (at least not the exact term), was this:

Eugenics:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eugenics

I can't say I didn't know it existed. I knew about ethnic cleansing. A horrible thing that only happens in other countries, right? "Eugenics was the bio-social movement which advocates the use of practices aimed at improving the genetic composition of a population." This definition comes straight from the wikipedia article above. I had to google this term because I read this article on CNN:

http://news.blogs.cnn.com/2012/01/10/task-force-recommends-50000-payment-to-n-c-sterilization-victims/

Apparently Eugenics was practiced here in the United States (it was also practiced in other countries, most notably Nazi Germany) between 1929 and 1974. People were being sterilized for mental illness, criminal behavior, and in North Carolina, women and young children were sterilized if they were poor and uneducated. This was a Government program. Now I know why conspiracy theories exist. People have a great reason to believe in them.

We're taught history for many reasons, and one of those is to keep certain historic events a part of a history we wish not to repeat. Yet, the same horrible events happen again, and again... they just have a different face.

Hacked

I just wanted to let you guys know my email account was hacked. SO if you have gotten an email with a link in it, please don't click it. Just know now, that I more than likely would never send you a link in an email anyway. My emails usually consist of a lot of "talking." I mean, I have a lot to say :)

So, I'm really sorry to all of you I email. I tried to fix it. If you continue receiving emails from me with links, please let me know.

Roses, Thorns, Parenting, and "Marriage"

The wife and I have developed a new routine this New Year. I sit in my "office" with the dogs, catch up on emails, and work on blog posts, while she gets her bird out and spends quality bonding time with him. That way, the dogs aren't going ape sh*t at the door, while we try to bond with the bird, and I have time to blog, or do whatever else it is I have to do on the computer.

As most of you know, I try to get my errands run in the mornings, while the wife sleeps, and today was no exception. The boy came downstairs this morning, ready for school, in pants that were too short, AND they had a grass stain on the knee. "I need new pants." Really? I hadn't noticed (total sarcasm). You see, the boy and his clothing issues have been placed in my avoidance bubble. He thinks his "too small" shirts are perfect, and feels "out of place" when they fit "big," or in my head, when they fit right. Well, my worst "shopping for the boy's clothes" nightmare happened today. He needs pants that are a good length, and fit right around his waist because he doesn't like things loose and he hates belts. I go to buy him pants, only to be told the size he's in is the biggest kid size they have. Ugh!! I have to go shop for the boy in the men's section now. This won't help the waist issue, and NOW they'll also be too long. Not a big deal to you people, but for him, it will be traumatic. I might as well give his shorts back to him... it would be so much easier than dealing with pant issues. I had to hide his shorts from him as the weather got colder, because he doesn't even like wearing pants.

These aren't the only parental issues we have with the boy. The wife and I rarely argue, and though we have disagreements, they are few and far between, but when it comes to the boy these past few months, we have had a few passive aggressive doosies (made up word!) with each other over how to handle him. We just can't seem to come to an understanding when it comes to him. She says I let him get away with stuff, while I'm firmer with the girl when it comes to certain things. I really have different parenting styles when it comes to each of them. Take last night for example. The boy was doing his homework pretty late, which kept him from turning his computer in on time. The wife says if this is the case, then his friend can't come over tomorrow. I can't do that though, because the boy has only just started having friends over. When we lived in Dallas, their school was too far away, and there were no neighborhood kids, plus he doesn't socialize well. Now, they go to school with the neighbor boys next door, and he is actually socializing. I can't take that from him. Like I told the wife, his grades are great, and he gets up when he should, not to mention, I know what he's doing on the computer (mine craft, and chess). Compare my parenting style with the girl on the same issue... She comes home, roots around in the pantry, changes her clothes, grabs a blanket, and sits in the living room with her computer and phone. She doesn't start her homework until the boy does. I don't care about last minute homework as long as it's getting done, but I don't want the girl having her phone and her computer in her room after bedtime. WHY? Because I know what she does too. She has no sense, no self respect, and she lies about it continually. This is one of those times, when I'm waiting for 18 to come so I can show her the door to the real world, which she apparently knows all about if you listen to the endless "I knowwwwws," she throws out before you can finish a sentence. Not to mention the fact that even if she isn't doing things she shouldn't on her computer, she won't get up for school on time. We're waiting on her every morning anyway... Different kids need different parenting. Right?

I know the boy... though I say his Asperger's comes from his dad, I know he's a lot like me. He's passive aggressive, and when confronted, you might as well not expect a response, because you won't get it. More than likely you'll hit a wall. Although in my case, I can only take so much before I completely lose it. I know he needs to show more respect toward us... like answer when asked a question, and do what he is told, without us having to heckle him about it. It's just that, he's not really all that difficult. I don't know... maybe I do let too much roll off my shoulders, but often, what I see as progress (woohoo, he's got a friend, and he's putting his homework off, normal kid stuff!), the wife see's as a problem. I'm trying hard not to let things go by welcoming this "normal" non-Asperger behavior, and making excuses.

Anyway... I suppose the boy is our thorn right now. Though we love him, he's the only major thing we disagree on. The wife feels she may need therapy as far as learning how to deal with him. I think if she would listen to me, like she did on Christmas Day (she was incredibly frustrated, and I told her to go to his room, and tell him how it is... it worked), she'll be able to get to him, while not coming up against a wall. She's kind of cute when she gets all worked up like that, but, ummm, NOT.

So to commemorate our rosy life that's not so perfect (even if the boy were not an issue), I give you this song (Oh, yes I did, THE song, but oh well!!) I hope everyone has a happy day!

Menopause - Could it be?

I know, I know... who wants to read about this stuff?! I mean, some of you have been through it, some of you are experiencing it, and would LOVE to forget about it for a few minutes at least, and some of you are so young, you're immune to the fact that you will ever experience it!

Last night, we were on our way home from getting the kids from their dad's house when it hit. Well, other things hit first. I have to say to one of my blogger friends, that from the day she sent me an email with a hilarious, but frightening story, I've been having panic attacks while I'm out running errands, or doing what ever it is I do away from home. That really messed me up (LOL)!!

Anyway, on to the revelation:

The wife reaches over to poke my arm while she's driving. I suppose I was unusually quiet? I was thinking... Well, I do that ya' know. Sometimes...

Me: Um, let's not and say we did, okay?

Wife: Why? What's wrong? Do you have to go to the restroom (asked in an exasperated tone)?

Me: Yes, Ugh!! What is wrong with me?

Wife: You did this the other day! Why didn't you just go at the kids' dad's house?

Me: That's the problem, I didn't have to then!! I don't why I'm having these sudden, urgent needs. It's frustrating. Sudden urgent needs to pee, I'm either way too hot or way too cold, I can't think straight. I hurt all over, and when I woke up the other morning, every single joint crackled as I stretched. If I didn't know any better I'd think it was menopause.

Wife: Your mother did go through it at 40.

Me: Well, H*ll, there you have it.

So, I really think this has been the problem the past few days. The wife has been hot flashing for a few months now, and we've typically blamed her brain fuzz on the MS, but it could very well be menopausal, or a combination of both. I personally don't handle brain fuzz well. I'm already ADD/OCD (self diagnosed of course), and really don't need more interference. Plus, one of us needs to be thinking on our toes at all times.  As I've said in past posts, two women going through menopause at the same time could be dangerous.

Don't you feel sorry for these two? Especially the boy... hey, he's learning how to be empathetic toward women, right? 

Breast Cancer Doesn't Care

I've been working on two different posts for today and tomorrow, but those will have to wait.

Today, I'm dedicating my blog to my friend's beautiful mother, who lost her long, courageous battle, with breast cancer. Words cannot express how sorry I am for her family, who I know will miss her greatly. She was full of laughter, and fun, sharing her wonderful smile, and wit, with everyone around her. She wasn't nearly old enough to pass from this world, but...

Breast Cancer doesn't discriminate against age, race, or even gender.

Breast Cancer doesn't care that you have the most amazing personality.

Breast Cancer doesn't care that you are loved by everyone you come into contact with.

Breast Cancer doesn't care that you're a mother, father, daughter, son.

Breast Cancer doesn't care that you have a whole life to live.

Breast Cancer doesn't care that the person it's taking out of this world, could have been the one who would have made all the difference in it. 

Breast Cancer doesn't care that you work out daily, or eat the healthiest foods.

Breast Cancer doesn't want to be found.

Breast Cancer will hide in places you may not know to look... under your arms, or almost as high as your collar bones. 

Breast Cancer can be caught in time... if you look for it.

Breast Cancer can be stopped, but it can also come back.

Breast Cancer cannot claim the final victory.

A person's life story lasts forever.

A loved one will always be loved.

A family will always remember.

I remember my friend's mother being this vibrant, friendly, outgoing, woman. She was sweet, and kind, and wonderful. Near the end, my friend posted many pictures of her mom. She was still laughing, still smiling, still showing off her personality, even though she had no hair, and looked so frail in the hospital bed. Her eyes though.. her life energy shown through her eyes. Breast Cancer be damned for taking such a beautiful woman away from a her amazing family and friends. 

Jaw Dropping Moments

Note to all: I will not mention Fb in each post... just recently. Sorry, I'll work on it!

Okay... I'm trying to set up a Facebook page so I can add the link here on my Blogger account. I think it would be fun, and I promise I won't stalk you guys in that crazy stalker kind of way. I don't do that.... I just like to read all the stuff. I know a lot of blogger friends have FB pages, and I've found a lot of blogs through my FB too, by umm, stalking of course ;). I was very excited about one in particular, because her FB posts always make me laugh out loud (literally). Then I started following her blog, and all it is, is promotions and give-aways. Nothing funny to read. I was disappointed. I love entertainment. I still follow her FB stuff though.

Anyway, the problem I'm having with setting up a FB account for my blog is that I need to do one totally separate from my personal one, not because I don't want you guys seeing my personal stuff, but because I don't want some of the people on my FB account seeing my blog. Only because I want to be able to write freely, and I can't if I think some of these crazies (a totally affectionate word) are reading it! I mean, I'm sure they would read some of my posts, and think "Umm, that's me!" Not good at times, because people really give me some jaw-dropping moments. I love them, but they would get all kinds of offended that I was turning their jaw-dropping moments into blog posts. We have to be able to laugh at ourselves. I laugh all the time at my jaw-dropping moments.

Now for some jaw dropping moments (not from FB):

The Bachelor... I know this show is set up totally for the drama of it all. I know I'm a lesbian, and that this shouldn't have really made my jaw drop, but it did. The wife and girl love to watch this show. The boy and I sit in the same room, with our computers in our lap, giving the occasional glance up. Well, the other night was the first Bachelor show of the season... you know, the one where all the women are trying to make a great first impression. When you have a room full of women, you will have drama, and it started right away. One woman, a blogger of all things, was there simply because another woman was there for the wrong reasons ( I'm not even going to bring up the irony of that statement). The one she was basically "stalking" in a crazy way, was sitting next to another woman, and started coming on to her. YES, my jaw dropped. I don't even know why, except that maybe I was surprised at her brazen spirit. I mean, these women were there for MAN, and here she is, all over another woman she didn't even know. God, I'm getting old, though even if I were younger, I would never have done that. Mainly due to the fear the other woman would run from the room screaming. Ouch to the ego on that one, and my ego doesn't need ouchies (made up word I know!). The thing with being a lesbian is, once people find out, you can get one of four reactions... acceptance being the best one. Then you have disgust, which really hurts. Fear that you want them, which is silly in itself... just because I love a woman, does not mean I'm checking out every woman who comes into my life. The biggest, most prominent reaction is this... they are curious... they start to "like" you, they want to "kiss" you... oh boy, it goes on and on. This is one of the reasons I think the legalization of marriage would be a good thing (another post coming). Maybe people would take our relationships seriously? I cannot give you a lesbian experience... I'm in a committed relationship, but I CAN take you to the lesbian bar, where I'm sure there will be someone around who would love to "play!" Seriously... I get it though. I totally get it.

The next jaw dropping moment came from a good friend's blog post. I don't think she reads my blog, but I don't know, so I can't blog about the moment. Maybe I should just email you guys this one, because I'm wondering if perhaps my reaction to her post was silly. I don't know... would love opinions, but maybe I can address it in another post, without offending her, because I do love her. She's a wonderful person... I was just flabbergasted.

Jaw-drop number three was a few days ago... maybe not a jaw-drop, but a moment of ditzy thinking on my part? I saw on FB that my dog from a very distant past, had gotten hurt. I text... "What happened to Zoey?" The ex texted me back saying she hurt her paw, not sure when or how, but they had to remove it at the base." I'm freaking out!! "OMGeee, how horrible! How did you not know how?" She tells me they were out of town, but had a sitter, and the sitter didn't notice it... it's fine, it was just a few hours before we got home. I saw it and took her to the vet. "What!! How could she NOT notice!! Poor little baby. You need to have me sit for the dogs when you leave. I'm very close, you know this!!!" She tells me to calm down, it's fine, and it will grow back.  I sat there looking blank, I'm sure. "WHAT!!! How does it grow back? What, is it just the bottom of her foot? The pads? The whole paw? How?" She says "huh?" Then she LOL's me..." Nooooo, one of her claws... they removed the base, too, but it will all grow back fine." "Man, I was wondering why you were reacting that way!! LOL"  Whew! Oh, a little side note here: Just so you don't think I have exes all over the place, this would be the same Super Target ex... I swear I did not "get around" in my past. ;)

The last jaw-dropping moment actually happened when we lived in Dallas. I remembered it when reading another friend's blog post ( Beyond the Diapers and Spills) about panhandlers. My comment to her was that I do give money to some of the people on the corners, but never to the ones who come up to the car while you're inside, entering, or exiting it. Mainly because I feel they're invading my personal safety space... it's scary when someone walks up to you from behind, and asks for money. It is... So this moment came from one of those moments (we had many in Dallas). The wife and I were either going somewhere or coming back, but we needed to stop for gas. As we pulled in, I saw a woman standing near the pumps, but headed toward an elderly woman who had gotten out of her car. I told the wife "She's asking for money." The wife gets out, runs the card, and starts to pump the gas. Sure enough, the woman leaves the elderly woman, after waiting for her to pull money from her wallet, and walks over to the wife. "Do you have change to spare? We're short on gas, and my daughter is pregnant. We just need to get to Weatherford." The wife thinks the woman looks totally strung out on drugs, and can see the daughter standing near a car in the distance. Big girl, pregnant or no? Who knows. The wife, being the sweet little woman she is :::ahem:::, says "I don't have cash (which is totally true, we rarely have cash), BUT, we would be happy to drive you to Weatherford." JAW-DROP... Weatherford is nowhere near Dallas... what a drive that would have been. The woman's jaw dropped as well. She turned down the offer... right after, the guy who works in the station came out and ran her off. Apparently she's been working that area for months. Same story. The wife said she had an "oh sh*t" moment, that her wondering what to do next, had the woman taken her up on the offer. Crazy woman! The wife, not the panhandler.

Anyway... I have many more, but if you're like me, your attention span is already shot. I apologize if things seem jumbled, make no sense, or are hard to read. I've been struggling these past two days. The ache, along with my complete brain fuzz, is taking it's toll. So, here is what I'm thinking... I'm going to give it a few days, see if this brain fuzz clears. I can't think clearly, or pull up words for what I'm trying to talk about, remember certain things, without really working on it... My whole body, chest, and back hurt, along with a headache. I'm going to get rest these next few days (even though the wife's mom is coming and we're going to gamble tonight), and see if that helps. I also told the wife I wanted her to call the gas company out on Monday. The last time we had a gas leak, I felt like this, and was an emotional wreck due to the confusion and feeling so bad. I cried in the doctor's office. I don't cry easily. I'm hoping it's not a leak, and just lack of rest. This house, as beautiful as it is, has been haunting us with problems. I will tell you though, that last night, the girl had a performance at the high school basketball game, and my mind cleared after we had been out awhile. So, who knows!!

The girl... she's way too skinny, right!?!

I hope you all have a wonderful, safe, weekend!! SAFE people!! I want to come back and read many more posts :)