Friday, August 6, 2010
Comment Response :)
I decided to blog my response to the comment on my last blog because I do tend to rattle on at times. Much too much for a comment response!
We just got a new car… a red convertible, creamy leather interior, all the bells and whistles. The wife calls it her midlife crisis… I think this is what I’m having…a midlife crisis. I’ve come to this conclusion after reading Anita’s comment, talking to others around my age, and remembering how happy I am doing what I’m doing. I love being home. Most of the time I resent anything that takes me away from home. Just the other day I was complaining about an ice cream social the school is having that I must attend because I’m teaching there. It will take me away from my family.
The wife started working from home so we would have more time together. Now granted she’s working, but we’re still here together. Most people would think all of this togetherness is a bit much, but when you’ve waited as long as we have for family, love, and happiness… it’s just perfect. Plus she does travel and when she’s “on” at work, she is truly “on.” Meaning, I may not see her for days, or if she’s in town but going in to the office, I won’t see her until late evening.
It’s silly because there are two reasons as to why I feel this “need” for a title? Or something like that…
*Reason 1: I’m competitive. I look at where I am in life as far as money/career and I compare it to my wife who is so very successful. She always has been. She works very hard and deserves everything good that comes from all of that. I don’t want her totally burdened with the stress of being the only financial support for our family. We aren’t hurting but we’ve got the kids in a private school… we eat, etc. ;) I’m not sure I’d feel the same way if she were a man which is just plain dumb because I am so happy she is who she is.
*Reason 2: I care about what people think. The majority of people don’t take a relationship such as ours serious enough to accept that I am a house-wife to a wife. Most of the time lack of acceptance doesn’t bother me because I love being home. I love taking care of her and being here for the kids. I do have two friends who have been very supportive of my position as a housewife. They totally get it!
There is very little turmoil within our relationship. Most of it swirls around in my head and it’s usually when I’m pms’ing or when she’s very wrapped up in work and travels. She does let me know how appreciated I am and she’s very good at surprising me with trips, excellent concert tickets, or just a slow dance in the middle of the afternoon (when she’s home). Not to mention her patience with my seemingly always sick stomach.
So with that being said… I am working hard to “snap out of it.” :) The wife is right… there is nothing in my life that should drive me into the closet. I told her when she got home the other day that I was having a “closet” day. Long ago I would sit in the closet because that’s where I felt safe. As an adult, I would go into the closet during storms, or if I wasn’t sleeping at night (so I could write without disturbing anyone). I’ll be honest though… I really think writing in the closet would work for me. I don’t think the wife would feel good about it though due to my past use of closets. She may take it wrong, and really our closet has no space. I could write in the guest/ghost room, but I may start having bad dreams. A friend suggested making Starbucks my place of choice for writing and go there every day just as I would a job. I think this is an excellent idea and one I will put into action when I’ve got everyone settled into their school year routine!