(This started as yesterday's post, but things happened, and I didn't get it finished)
It's a TV show, it's a song, and it feels like my life at this moment. Only because I had a late afternoon nap. Something I rarely do, just because of this alternate reality type of feeling I have upon waking. I have the strangest dreams, and wake up feeling like those were the real deal, and this is the dream.
Dreaming... I fell asleep thinking about the wife, and the gym. Wondering how I would manage if her MS were to debilitate here to the point of her having to be taken care of 24/7. Or Hell, what would happen if she developed Emphysema, because lets face it, that's as much of a possibility right now, as the MS rearing the ugliest head possible. I suppose those thoughts led to this dream:
I'm at some type of political event. Once upon a time, I was very active politically. That is until the wife came along, and I pulled away from it in order to avoid disagreements that neither one of us could ever win.
People everywhere are cheering for some woman just introduced. She's a commentator of some sort, a member of some Focus on the Family religious group, and a staunch supporter of the extreme Right movement to take all rights away from "the gays." I don't know how, but this was something already known in my dream.
I'm moving through the crowd trying to get out of there, but soon find myself face to face with this woman in a room. She decided she likes me and apparently we have an affair, because then I'm marrying her? Yep... anyway, then I was back home, walking in a field of bluebonnets, when I saw this black thing moving around. It scared me at first, but then I realized it was Tallula, my furry baby. I then saw the other two babies running around.. I tried to get them in the house, that was apparently mine, but not. I could hear my neighbor on the phone, and a news commentator in the background somewhere talking about my neighbor on the phone. Then a black truck with painted orange flames, drives by... then... I wake up. Unsettled... like I am right now. Like I was yesterday when I finally woke up.
So today (as in I am now in today's post), is a "down" day. Crap! Things were going along great, and boom! I don't know why. I'm sure it's stress. Which is just awesome. It's good to know that I can no longer handle stressful situations. I remember a time in which I could handle anything, I was strong even. Now... I'm a mess. At least I'm strong enough to hide it.
The building inspection is today. Wish us luck, but right now, I don't know what that means. Luck that it's falling apart and we don't buy it, or luck that it's in great shape and we do this!
I think I'm going to take the longest walk ever with my babies. I may return by dinner time.
It's a TV show, it's a song, and it feels like my life at this moment. Only because I had a late afternoon nap. Something I rarely do, just because of this alternate reality type of feeling I have upon waking. I have the strangest dreams, and wake up feeling like those were the real deal, and this is the dream.
Dreaming... I fell asleep thinking about the wife, and the gym. Wondering how I would manage if her MS were to debilitate here to the point of her having to be taken care of 24/7. Or Hell, what would happen if she developed Emphysema, because lets face it, that's as much of a possibility right now, as the MS rearing the ugliest head possible. I suppose those thoughts led to this dream:
I'm at some type of political event. Once upon a time, I was very active politically. That is until the wife came along, and I pulled away from it in order to avoid disagreements that neither one of us could ever win.
People everywhere are cheering for some woman just introduced. She's a commentator of some sort, a member of some Focus on the Family religious group, and a staunch supporter of the extreme Right movement to take all rights away from "the gays." I don't know how, but this was something already known in my dream.
I'm moving through the crowd trying to get out of there, but soon find myself face to face with this woman in a room. She decided she likes me and apparently we have an affair, because then I'm marrying her? Yep... anyway, then I was back home, walking in a field of bluebonnets, when I saw this black thing moving around. It scared me at first, but then I realized it was Tallula, my furry baby. I then saw the other two babies running around.. I tried to get them in the house, that was apparently mine, but not. I could hear my neighbor on the phone, and a news commentator in the background somewhere talking about my neighbor on the phone. Then a black truck with painted orange flames, drives by... then... I wake up. Unsettled... like I am right now. Like I was yesterday when I finally woke up.
So today (as in I am now in today's post), is a "down" day. Crap! Things were going along great, and boom! I don't know why. I'm sure it's stress. Which is just awesome. It's good to know that I can no longer handle stressful situations. I remember a time in which I could handle anything, I was strong even. Now... I'm a mess. At least I'm strong enough to hide it.
The building inspection is today. Wish us luck, but right now, I don't know what that means. Luck that it's falling apart and we don't buy it, or luck that it's in great shape and we do this!
I think I'm going to take the longest walk ever with my babies. I may return by dinner time.
4 comments:
Sad to learn of the stress in your life — coming from your dreams. A couple of times lately, I've had really troublesome dreams. I woke up scared. Then started sorting myself out.
I'm about to face a stressful situation. I'm trying to decided whether i want to pick it up and run with it, or to pass on it. Either way I win, but for different reasons in each case.
I hope your building report gives you the information you want. That may help you relax. Or maybe not.
Blessings and Bear hugs in an interesting time.
I have been having some crazy dreams lately too... must be something in the air?
Much luck is wished with your building inspection! :)
cupcakes. that's all I have to say.
Have the cheesiest, piled up pizza first, then the cupcakes. :)
Seriously, my heart is with you. You've had a LOT of change in the last year or two. I hope things will settle down soon so that you and the wife can get your composure back.
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