Okay, so maybe this will be a no-no type of blog because so many people have such strong beliefs, but keep in mind when I blog this, I'm not attacking God, I'm not discounting the importance of a higher being... I'm just blogging out the strife that exists in a household with four people who go different directions when it comes to beliefs.
I believe. I try to live a good life. I want to give back more than I get and there are times I do and times I don't. I was going to church but it's not been a regular routine. I really don't want to go to church. I can pray (and I have), I can believe (and I do), and I can live the right way without going in to a building and being preached to.There are times I have a desire to go to church to meet others and to participate in different activities such as Habitat for Humanity projects.
I do admit that my aversion toward the followers hasn't been as "hidden" as it should. Meaning my kids... The girl really hasn't been touched by my aversion. She wants to go to church and I encourage it. I want her in a youth group, meeting kids her own age, going on mission trips, and "finding" herself (if she thinks church will help with this). I want the same for the boy, but he unfortunately has combined my aversion toward the followers with his fathers non-belief and I can't accept that. SO he gets mixed messages.
The wife believes the typical creation theory and having Jesus Christ in your heart... okay, so he's in your heart... is he in your life? Do you ask yourself every day "What would Jesus do?" Because as a person who tries hard to avoid hypocrisy, I'm going to be honest and say no... I don't ask myself that. No one can do exactly what Jesus would do. If there was a homeless person on the street and I did what Jesus would do and took him in, I would be putting myself and my family in danger. So no... I dont DWJWD at all times.Do I believe Jesus to be the son of God... I believe he was someone very special and that it's a strong possibility. For him to have spread the word and touched as many people as he did in a time with no internet, no mail, and no way to communicate without setting out on foot... it amazes me. I don't discount that.
I believe in a higher being... I have faith(I have so much faith), I also believe in evolution. We're evolving everyday. Evolution takes thousands of years. We won't "see" it. It's science... I LOVE science because it solves the puzzles of life. Life is a puzzle. I don't think all of this came from two people,and then again ONE family... you know after God flooded the world and started over with a male and female of everything and ONE family. So because I haven't delved deeply enough into this, I can't tell you where that puts me on the spectrum of believers as far as others go. I have no idea. All I know for sure is that I cannot have my son go around thinking he's an athiest or agnostic.
Seriously... I didn't raise him like that. I worked in a church for 10 years and they attended regularly. I started taking them to another church when he was 8 and even back then he was telling me I was pushing my religious beliefs on him. I told him then and I told him last night that he doesn't have the experience to base any type of belief or non-belief on. The problem is, he thinks Christians are hypocrits. I'll give him that... but he's lumping a group of people, and as I've explained to him, that's not fair. He's taking a group and lumping them into one point of view... I told him that this is what people do to his family. He said yes... "That's what Christians do to our family." So there you have it.
My dilemma now is to decide whether I should make him go to church. Maybe I should take him to different places of worship... Christian, Buddhism, something different? I don't want him to go through life not knowing what it's like to have faith in something higher. That's his father. I want more for my son. He's bright, and funny, and has so much potential. Is it wrong of me to want him to have faith in a higher being?
SO all of this is coming from what I guess was a major discussion last night on the way home from the school. My daughter wants to go to church, Gabe says he's an athiest and the wife starts talking about creationism which set me off. SO now the wife is mad because I told her that she needed to live a Christian life if she was going to be spouting that stuff. Basically I called her a hypocrit in front ofthe kids which I shouldn't have done, but I've got a kid in the back seat who doesn't believe and the creationism talk isn't going to help at all with him. He's a facts and figures kid. Creationism doesn't add up giving him more reason to NOT believe. I was frustrated!!!! So, I'm sorry for calling her that. It was wrong... she doesn't walk around preaching what she doesn't do herself. I just kept asking her to stop talking about it and she wouldn't.The girl will go along with whatever the wife says, so I never have any worries about her as far as that goes. If I thought for a second that the boy would take to creationism, then I'm all for it. I don't want him to believe what I believe, I just want him to believe in something.
Just Two Chicks!
2 comments:
Oh, that was a mouthful, but a good mouthful. :)
I've never been anywhere close to being an atheist or agnostic, but I've certainly had many questions and debates throughout my life.
I think it's normal to question and to want evidence, and that it does not make one a bad person if one does not believe. I've known bitter people in all the categories of belief and non-belief. Professing Christianity does not make a person "good" (although it should) and atheism does not make a person "bad."
At one time, I thought it was hypocritical to claim Jesus and not walk the walk, until I learned that being a Christian simply means believing in the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit; believing that Jesus is real and that Jesus is the Savior, that through Him we are forgiven and can have everlasting life. If you believe that, then you should call yourself a Christian.
It's not because someone sprinkled water on our foreheads as was done to me in the Catholic Church when I was a baby (but glad my parents gave me that foundation) or because someone is a really good person.
Like you, I find science fascinating and when my brain has time to "go there" I wonder about evolution and creationism. So, I read the bible and science too. I hope someday, people will get the connection accurately and explain it. :)
Until then, I hang on to that intangible thing called faith and "peace that passes all understanding." After temporarily going in a few other directions, and then coming back to Christianity and realized "it's workin' for me," I decided to hang with it. :)
I hope everyone in your family can begin to accept and respect each others walk, and be allowed to study, explore, etc. and to be REAL, whatever that may be, in hopes that you all will ultimately be the giving people that you currently strive to be.
People are forever changing...you never know where everyone's path will lead them.
Hey, I've just had church...do I get to skip it on Sunday? Just kidding. :)
Haha, you did just have church and I'm sure if you were preaching, we would go! You're actually on the same page as the wife, and I'm not disagreeing. I just want my son to have something more in his life. So, that being said... we are going to church in the morning. I'm gearing myself up ;)
Still trying to get the hang of this comment thing, so I'm emailing it to you as well!
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