Panic in the Evening

There once was a time when I would totally look forward to my peaceful mornings... I don't have those anymore. I have a crazy nut dog, who can play fetch for hours, and if you aren't throwing his toy for him, he's barking, or torturing the bird. He doesn't let me sleep at night, and he gets up early. I feel like I have a new born baby.

Anyway... this is not why I'm posting. I really have no idea why I'm posting tonight, except that I'm addicted. I'm addicted to having a screen in front of my face most of the time. Tonight was good though! We went to dinner (grilled shrimp, yummy!), and then bowling. There was a waiting list to bowl, so we played video games and mini golf too! Tomorrow we will have a real date! Sushi night, and then, gambling!! Are you reading this wifey... YOU promised both!! I love both. If only I could win something when I gamble. The thing about going tomorrow night is this... what if I win? Will it mean I'm going to have a lucky new year, or will it mean this year has been lucky? That's a dilemma.

As you saw from my last blog, this past year was full of good things and changes. I don't deal well with change, even good change, but I adjust quickly enough. I'm very thankful for all of it, and I'm working hard on ridding myself of the bubble I've put myself in, but...

Lately, I've been having mini panic attacks. I don't know why. They started after the extended family left for home. It's pretty bad at night. I guess that's why I'm here, writing it away. I've been trying to watch silly sitcoms... anything to help them pass quickly. I need more good books. I've told the wife I need xanax, but she tells me I don't need it. It's not like I would take it all the time.

There was a time in my life when I was prescribed a medication for depression... OH my, it made me crazy! I was bouncing off the walls happy. This really wasn't a problem for me, but my co-workers were a little put off by all of my chipper-ness (not a word I know).  I guess they were put off by my personality anyway... I'm what you call "bubbly." They were what the wife called "Hobby Lobby Mommies." We didn't mesh... but I still stopped taking that medicine, lest they think I was on something illegal. I can't remember what it was called now... hmmm. I bet I wouldn't have had a problem staying thin on that stuff!!

Speaking of...
I just want to give thanks right now, for my body...

It may not be the healthiest
It may not be in the best shape
It may not do what what I need it to do at times
It may hurt a LOT

BUT, it maintains a normal body weight (this typed as the wife plops two Reeses Christmas Trees next to me... literally!!). I've been terrified of the scale because of how we've been eating these past three weeks, but today... midday even, I decided to check my weight. I was so excited afterward, I did a little happy dance!! It was much better than I originally thought.

Tomorrow the wife has a doctor's appointment. She wants to see if he'll prescribe her the same weight loss pills, he prescribed a friend of ours. I'm not sure how this will pan out as far as her MS, but I support her decision to do this before I would support her decision to have a weight loss surgery. I know that would cause too much stress on her body, and it scares me to think her MS could spiral.

I think I've written myself tired... now to talk the wife into a silly sitcom!!

I hope everyone has a great night!!