10 Minutes of Peace??

Thank you Sunny Dee for my Versatility Award!!! I have no idea how claim it right now :)

I'm using this time, hopefully at least 10 minutes to post! The wife took the girl out for a drive. Bless her heart, I hope they come back in one piece. You see, the girl just finished drivers ed, and every day we hear "Will you take me driving?" "Can I drive home?" She's literally making us nuts, because we have no desire to take her driving. The girl can't drive... she over turns the steering wheel no matter how many times she gets behind the wheel. Do you remember pretending to drive as a little kid? You would grab something round and turn it back and forth really fast and make the vroom vroom sound? That's the girl with the wheel of the car! Add that to the fact that she doesn't know the meaning of the words "slow down." It's scary as all hell. I'm proud of myself though. I don't say anything... I don't panic. My hands start to sweat though, and I've realized my car doesn't have the "oh sh*t" handle... I guess because it's a convertible. S-C-A-R-Y!!

There has been no peace in our home this week. There have been appointments, we had a friend visit and stay a few days, we lost power for 5 hours last night due to a blown transformer, I've been trying to find affordable give-aways for when I get out to market our business, and I've been trying to get the house sparkly shiny for the in-law visit. All of this while also trying to keep up with my workouts and diet. Diet is an ugly, ugly word, by the way. Seriously... dieting is why my stomach is so screwed up, yet I continue to do it. Watching calories, watching fat, watching carbs, watching sodium. Sodium is a big one, by the way!

My moment of peace came and went, because I stopped writing to go sit outside for a bit. I love listening to the water... it's not quite cool enough to really enjoy the great outdoors just yet, but I like to go out occasionally. I'm trying to find little pockets of time to center myself. I was trying to use last night's drive to get the boy from chess for centering time. I've traded out my satellite radio in my car for Pandora because I can almost pick my songs. I enter my artist name and if the song I want to hear isn't old, it usually pops right up. Last night, my song was old, so I listened to several other songs before mine finally started playing. Keep in mind that Pandora plays over my phone, which I have plugged into my car adapter. My song finally comes on and my damn phone starts dinging with freakin' text messages... boom, boom, boom, one right after the other. I never get messages anymore!! I'm trying to close them out as fast as they're coming so I can just listen to my song... but noooo... there are more! They were from my daughter's drill team coach. Something about goody bags for the girls, and all of this rah, rah, rah crap. Her many messages finally stream through, when the boy then decides to message "Where r u?" Really?!?! I'm sitting in front of the building trying to listen to my sonnnng!! Can you NOT hear me out here?

Okay, fit over. Yes, I was frustrated. Call it PMS, call it crankiness, or call it something else entirely...
Needless to say, I signed up for goody bags. I also signed up to be a room mom for middle school. There will be 3 of us. I'm so NOT excited about this. Ten years ago, I swore I would never be involved in this capacity again. Those PTA moms are quite unpleasant. Fake... bleh. Yet here I am. A room mom... seriously, I thought those days were over when I became a certified teacher. Oh and the emails... I can't tell you all of the dates I have to keep up with for the goings on at this school. Breakfasts in teachers' rooms, special order lunches, volunteer meetings, because guess what? I'm one of those. I'm ranting now.

Here's the song I waited to hear. It's x-rated and there is nothing peaceful about it, so if you're sitting quietly and enjoying your peace, don't listen to this. It's a great workout song though. I have an amazing playlist of raunchy, loud music that helps me though my workouts! I hope everyone has a wonderful Friday!

I was thinking...

Then nothing came...

My view while attempting to write

Does everyone do a "Wordless Wednesday" kind of thing when they blog? That wouldn't work for me. I'm usually full of words. Not tonight around 8 though. The wife went to play tennis, I had just  finished cleaning up after dinner, the kids were doing who knows what, and I had nothing to do but to wait for our guest to arrive, and well, write of course! But then I couldn't think. I had all of this stuff in my head, and I lost it. So I stared out the window... I thought, oohh, I'll take a picture! I love to see other's writing spaces... why not show mine?!?! I loaded it, then I loaded other pictures, next I IM'd a friend on FB... suddenly the doorbell rang. Barking dogs, chaos, happy hugs to see our friend, a house tour, a walk to the club to meet up with the wife, a few drinks, and here I am, attempting to write something... AGAIN. Why am I doing this tonight? Because I know I won't tomorrow. I've tried these past few days, but no luck. Things have been crazy busy, and I refuse to give up my workouts. The workouts are for my mental health as well as my physical health. I can't wait to run again... but anyone running in this heat is nuts!

So the problem with trying to write at night, when I'm tired, and a tiny bit tipsy, is that I can't organize my thoughts enough to write a damn thing that makes sense. I'll apologize now. If it helps, I often think about what I'm going blog. I'll hear a song, or see something, or hear something. It's the thought I guess. I'll pull it together enough to blog at some point tomorrow. We shall see... until then, I'll leave you with a song. I can actually sing this song, and have sung it in the past. I'm sure Lucinda Williams was singing about lost love or romance in this song, but when I sing it, I'm thinking about my mind... I've lost it!

::I think I lost it, lemme know if you come across it... ::

Salamanders, Art, Religion, and Life

This morning I woke to a dead baby salamander in the kitchen sink. Thoughts immediately took me back to every instance the wife has chased them down with a little box... to save them... from the dogs. She catches them and puts them outside where they belong. Then she worries that she's sending them to their death by putting them outside. One night we chased three around the bedroom, and set them free through the window. After crawling into bed, the wife looks up, and what do you know, there's one on the ceiling. She totally freaked out, and probably didn't sleep the whole night. "What if he falls into the bed?" When we woke the next morning and he was gone, I told her he probably fell right into her mouth while she slept. I know, I know... not nice. Anyway, this morning I was still blurry eyed. My routine is to stumble out of bed with the three babies, take them out, pray there aren't fishermen in the backyard because who knows what I'm wearing, stumble back in, get the babies treats, and make coffee. When I saw this baby in the sink after I had already turned on the water... when I realized he wasn't washing down the drain... I thought, no, I will take care of this later. Need... coffee... first. Poor little salamander.

The girl is very excited about school and doesn't stop talking from the time she gets in the car until the time she goes to bed. I'm happy for the excitement because she has a rough schedule, which is necessary if she's going to graduate when she's supposed to. So I figure, enjoy her excitement now. Thursday she was telling us that she's been put in art class. They get to build a portfolio, and "............." <----that's her talking. What I did get out of all of it was that this art class is ALL drawing. The wife and I were beside ourselves. "Wait a minute," the wife says. "You can't draw. You can do photography, but..." The girl interrupts with whining "............". The wife then pulls out pictures the girl drew a few months earlier. Actually, I'm told she traced them. I tell the girl we're taking those pictures up to the school and we're going to ask them what they're thinking. "Noooooooo... I like to draw." What about yearbook? What about a photography portfolio? I went up to the school the next day. I told them how I understood about being well rounded, but the girl is not on the track to college. She will probably end up in some art school or something. She loves photography and she's good, can we not get her into something like yearbook? Then I pulled out the pictures she drew, "She drew these..." I could tell they were trying to figure out whether or not they should say, "WOW, those are wonderful!":::mouths wide open::: When clearly they are terrible for a 17 year old. I decide to let them off the hook and told them I brought the pictures in for emphasis on why I think she needs to do something else. "Ahhhhh..." Laughter all around  ::shaking head:: We aren't mean parents, we're honest. The girl really needs to focus on her future if she's going to do what she wants and be financially independent.

The girls drawing... or I should say, tracing

           

I've been on the hunt for a church in our small town. The biggest problem I have is finding one that will accept us. We don't want to go into a church lying about who we are to each other. I don't think God would like that. The other problem is that these churches have hidden denominations. Seriously, in Dallas, they have names like St. Peter's Catholic, or Blah Blah Baptist. NOT here. I have to Google them to find out what they are. So far we've got Pentecostal ::that's not happening::, Baptist ::no way::, Methodist ::this one is iffy::, and Presbyterian ::getting closer?::  I'm shocked at the absence of Catholicism, but this is a small town. Maybe that's a big city religion. Eh, I'm a recovering Catholic anyway. 

The other day the wife and I were driving down the only road out of town when we passed by a church (Yes, we pass it every day). I wondered out loud what denomination the church was. "Baby, you say that every time we..." I interrupt saying I do not say it every time. "I bet you've Googled that one at least ten times now." Noooo, I haven't. Im going to look it up right now! I want you to ask whats-her-face where the gay people go to church around here. She says we aren't the only ones in this town, and some of them must go to church! Then she says, "Honnnney, you know that tone you get when you're reading your mother's emails? You know... you're trying to sound crazy like her?" Uh huh... "That's kind of what you sound like when you get all worked up, you know?" Hmmm... I then tell the wife that, I don't know, but I scared myself to death the other day when I walked by a mirror in the store and thought I looked like her. The wife confirmed I do not look like my mother... Thank God. Then she called me a crazy a**. Ahhh, the love.   

I finally looked into that church last night. It's Disciples of Christ. I still had no idea what that was, so I had to look up beliefs. Apparently they were once totally against "practicing" LGBT's but have now come to show greater tolerance toward them. "They practice tolerance!!" I tell the wife, this is the one! "Sure they do... " she says. "They still call black people "coloreds" around here... do you know how backwards that is?" Yes, it's true. We'll just have to see about this church. I wonder what they would call us. 

The wife is awake now, so I'm going to wrap up this incredibly long post. She hasn't been feeling well this past week. Her MS has been giving her grief, which she would deny 'til her dying day. She says it's a "bug." Uh huh. We close on the Dallas home on Tuesday... finally, and I think this is what's stressing the wife. Why her MS is flaring. The money lost, the fact that we loved it so, but that it was time to let it go and move on, are things she hangs onto. 

I loved the crown molding in the old house. This is one small example.

    

The back yard was so beautiful and peaceful... until they built that damn treehouse

I'm going to try hard to keep up with my blogging so I don't end up writing such long posts. The problem is, after I take the kids to school I work out. If I don't, then I know I'll end up skipping it, which will then make me feel like a fat cow, because I have a love affair with food that I don't want to give up. Even though food makes me incredibly sick, I love eating it. It doesn't make sense at times, what will make me ill, and what won't. In Mississippi, I had a true southern meal of fried chicken and waffles, which didn't make me sick at all. The other night, the wife and I tried this old fashioned diner in the middle of town, and I had chicken fried chicken with gravy. I was sick as a dog afterward. Although, it may have been the chocolate pie that made me ill. Who knows... all I know is I need to workout if I'm going to eat this kind of crap.

The babies love to watch me work out

The wife wants to put my elliptical in one of the back bedrooms. It's windowless... NOT happening. No one uses this room, so it's MY workout space. :)

This is my view while I work out... LOVE it!

             

I hope everyone has a wonderful week!! I'm going to try to catch up on everyone's posts tonight!

It seems as if...

It seems as if I've made a habit of these quickie blog posts, which is really hard for me. The wife and I are going to see a movie in a bit, so I'm going to make it a point to come back tonight after dinner, kids, and all of the other stuff in between. We just finished reading The Help, and she was so excited, she wants to go see the movie NOW. Have I mentioned she's impulsive at times. This is a good thing! I guess the reason why I even bothered typing this much is because I had just pulled things up to write a new post... Why waste it, right?

Have a great day everyone, and be safe!

First Day of School

Ahhh, it has come! The children have been dropped, I've worked out, and I've eaten my high protein breakfast.

Yesterday the boy announced that he wants to go to a public school. Really?!!?! After ALL of this?  I'm not sure what exactly brought that on except maybe nerves and the fact that the public schools don't start their new year until this coming Monday. ::sigh:: He did okay... got up, put his uniform on, came down for breakfast, loaded up ALL of his school supplies, and stared out of the backseat window until I dropped them off. The girl was fine... she's been doing drill team activities with the school and has already met some girls. I'm not sure she has befriended them, but the girl doesn't care about having friends.

This is going to have to be another short one... I have a load of laundry in, the wife needs help moving something around, and I have to get ready for sweet baby boy to come over. We're watching him while his mom goes to get her hair done. I can't wait!

1st day of her senior year!

A forced smile... Callie wonders why we are all up and moving so early!

5 Minutes

I've given myself only 5 minutes to write a post. Not a lot of time, I know, which means I won't be able to say all I want or need to say. I suppose had I not caught up with other blogs, and had gone straight to writing my own, I would have had more time, but that's kind of like talking about yourself all the time, and not listening to others. Wow, that was a long sentence!

I've been reading the blog Absolutely Narcissism, and her last post was an interview she did with a fellow blogger and author. I loved it... it had so many great tips, which I will dig into more thoroughly when I have the kids off to school ALL DAY LONG. The kids haven't been to an all day school in two years. One of the reason we moved from the beautiful city of Dallas was because the school system there is terrible. We looked into a bunch of suburbs surrounding the greater Dallas area, finally finding the house of our nightmares dreams. Don't get me wrong, we love our beautiful home, but we're ready for the problems to settle. For a 12 year old home it has had some pretty major issues... I guess thats called lake living right there---spoken in an extremely "hick" accent. 

Anyway, back to school... So we move here and WOW! What a wonderful public school system our little town has! Do our kids end up in it though? No, they do not. They are right back in a private school. We were only going to send the boy to private school to keep his little head fully engaged because it's so darn smart, but the girl ended up liking it when I took them to observe classes one day. My efforts to teach her a lesson about teasing her brother for having to go observe, totally backfired on me. She came through that office door all breezy and refreshed, saying "I LOVE this school!" What? I thought you wanted to go to a public school?!?! You can't send one to private and the other to public if they both want the same thing. That would have made a great book writing opportunity for the girl, but I was not willing to be a main character in Mommy Dearest 2. So, they both start school tomorrow, thank goodness. 

As for me, I'm floundering in nowhere land. That's how it feels anyway. I'm not teaching this year, and the plan was to get our business off the ground, but the wife doesn't seem to be fully engaged in this. It's really hard to watch the business similar to what I want, grow. I'm happy for them, but I so wanted this. If I was really honest with myself my first dream business was a little bookstore. I would love to bury myself in a cute little bookstore that featured local authors, had a little coffee bar, and fireplace, and tons of books, old and new all over the place. The sad reality of that is, these huge bookstores put the little ones out of business. That was movie... remember? With Tom Hanks... 

My next dream business is what we've been trying to pull together. I think after our visit to Alabama I was spurred on even more, and the wife was put off. I loved this woman's set up. I wanted all of her ideas. I wanted to come back and get started right away. I want the 24/7... it would be mine... 24/7 wouldn't bother me. The wife has already been there/done that though. So, now what? I have to do something. Mainly because the mother-in-law keeps asking and the wife has apparently told her I would be doing something... and then because I like to shop and don't want to feel guilty when I head out the door just to go buy something. I'm so close to throwing in the towel and going back to school... I could be done by the time I'm 46... what do you think? A Masters in OT or Occupational Therapy... Or I could write my crazy mother book. One of the tips from the blog I mentioned earlier was don't be afraid to write about controversial issues. My Crazy Mother book would be just that. People would say I was exploiting the mentally ill. I would do it in the most loving manner...hmmm. 

You know what... I am thankful I have options. 

I hope everyone has a wonderful day. It is now time for me to go get ready to meet the kids' teachers. Fun!!!!  

Picture Blog

I love going here... you cannot pass through the bayou without stopping!

I love railroad tracks... they can lead anywhere!

SOme little nook in the French Quarter

Love the masks

This little store reminds me of the village I lived in in England

Jax Brewery in New Orleans

I took this in the courtyard in the middle of the French Quarter

More tracks

Why I love New Orleans...  the music you can find on any street you walk down

Steam Boat DInner

The road to Mississippi

Biloxi Cemetery

This grave was totally open... I wonder if it wasn't from hurricane Katrina 

They all had flowers anyway

More damaged graves... :(

Biloxi cemetery from a distance

Kudzu and moss covered trees shade the very old graves

A damaged pier on the beach in Biloxi

This is the new pier

I guess he can't read the sign

Still suffering from the oil spill

More oil

This guy was standing near the damaged pier on the oil covered beach. He was about as tall as I am and he was not happy that I was so close to him. I guess he's used to being alone!

Shaggy's... a little grill on the cleaned up part of the beach

Already busy!

I tried to post my pictures last night, but I saved them wrong and now we have no idea where they are :(

I have to go back and re-edit them... ::sigh::

We went to my old church today, and wouldn't you know we hit it on Southern Gospel Sunday! I was so very excited! I sure do miss my church. It's so laid back and relaxed.

I have more details to add about everything from the adventure of trying to eat somewhere different last night, to our church fun. I just don't have time right now...

I have to meal plan, then I have to make my grocery list, and draw out my exercise plan. Tomorrow we hit a regularly scheduled day. The kids don't start school for a few more days, but I want to get us all on schedule!

I'm going to get all of this done, oh and lets not forget laundry... Ugh, My most hated household activity!

I will get my pictures done tonight and post tomorrow morning. I'm really hoping for my quiet time in the morning!

It's a Miracle!

Rain... YES, we finally have rain after going almost two months without. The lake is down 4 feet. The trees have the appearance of an early fall, but we know they're actually dying from not having enough water. People who are doing the right thing by conserving water, have dead lawns. It's really sad. All of my beautiful flowers have died. The wife and I worked so hard on those flowers. Having a contest of sorts to see who was the most OCD. I think we tied that one.

Our perfect rows of flowers

We pulled the dead ones, didn't have the heart to pull the ones that were still hanging on. Our grass is green by the grace of God... we've only watered three times these past three weeks. 

I looked at the weather forecast for the rest of the week and was disappointed not to see predictions for a full week of this wet stuff. I love the rain... I'm not sure exactly what it is, but I feel this amazing sense of peace when it's pouring down. I love being home and listening to my favorite rainy day music. That would be music from the 1940's or some incredibly bluesy tunes. Dorky I know.

I can close my eyes, and picture an old home with this music playing. Two people are slow dancing as the rain beats against the windows. OR, I can picture a smoky, darkened blues club. Every time the door opens it brings in the rain, and someone shaking their umbrella off. There are people everywhere, dancing or sitting and listening to the music at small, round tables. Laughing, smoking... the women have their cigarettes in those long holders.

Anyway...
Enough of this. I stopped blogging to edit some pictures. Can we say ADD? Yes, yes we can. I wanted to post some in this blog, but I think what I'll do is post another blog with pictures from our mini business trip. I'll do this later, since the picture editing has taken me so long. I downloaded some new editing apps, and I've been having fun playing with them!

I hope everyone has a wonderful Saturday... picture blog to come later this evening!

Southern Love

Driving through the bayou, listening to sultry music, and feeling the deep south seep into my bones...
All we need is a big walk around front porch, a fan, and a mint julep.
The closer I get, the better I feel!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

This is a difficult blog for many reasons, the main one being exhaustion.

As most of you know, this has been a rough week in the Two Chick household. A week of stress and worry over my own mortality (Not morality... I've faced those demons with a fairly even win/loss ratio), and a young woman's life that was lost too soon due to an irresponsible act of her own doing. The loss of my young friend has really hit me hard. I remember a young girl who was full of life. She had sparkle, though she too struggled with demons, some of her own making.

I'm certain I couldn't be described as a religious person, since I haven't set foot in a church for years, and have long battled the stereo-types I've had of those who describe themselves as "Christian." I suppose you could consider that reverse discrimination... Two Chicks are typically judged and stereo-typed, thus I judge and stereo-type. It's a cycle I'm trying to stop, at least on my end. I loved my old church, but had a major problem with panic attacks while in services. My heart would race, dizziness would set in, and I would then start feeling sick. It was miserable.

Not going to church doesn't mean I don't believe in a higher being. I absolutely do. This would be God for me. I understand and respect the many different beliefs that exist in our world and in my own circle of friends, and wouldn't assume that what God is for me, is God for them as well.

I've been talking to God a lot lately, because though I am the best person ever at reasoning things out, there are some things in this life I just can't reason with. I suppose some would be surprised by my admission, but who do you turn to when you feel the world crumbling around you? I've cried to, talked to, begged and pleaded with, and most importantly thanked God. I try not to take anything for granted, and I keep myself grounded most of the time. Thats not to say I'm wonderful and above pettiness. I'm not...

I guess you guys are wondering what has brought on this type of post. It's not like me to "be this way." I guess because things aren't right with the world and that's worrisome.

I'm hoping the drive through the south will be full of beautiful sights... We will hit the road pretty early, so I'm sure my appreciation won't set in until well after we've been on the road. Oh and I've been reminded that there is no gambling in Alabama... We're gambling in Mississippi. SO there you have it.

I hope everyone has a great Monday... here's a song that kind of describes what I'm feeling and a picture I took this evening.

Tonight's reminder

A quickie...

Get your mind out of the gutter, it's not that kind of quickie!

I just want to pop in and wish everyone a Super Saturday! I have a ton to say, but I feel the approach of my mother-in-law and I've got a few things to do before she gets here.

I'm going to leave you a picture of why life is great... and why we do what we do every single day. 

My friend's sweet baby boy... can't wait to spoil him rotten!!

Friday, August 5th 2011

I'm blogging a bit early this evening.  Soon I will be down to one blog a day, if I'm lucky. It may be 1 blog every few days. The children are coming home Sunday.  Children coming home equals busy, busy me. Bye, bye quite nights of doing our own thing. Bye, bye, quiet mornings of writing and drinking coffee. With all of this said, I am happy. I've missed the children who almost aren't children anymore. I bought their school supplies today. I ordered their school clothes three days ago. I'm on top of it. There are still shoes, ties, and a belt to purchase, but I feel like I've done well.

Today has been a day full of extremely mixed emotions. First of all, they called me about my biopsy already and it was negative!!! Yay! I'll take a black and blue breast for news like that any day! I was doing a happy dance in the car and the wife says "I told you so..." Yes ma'am! This will make our trip so much better. So after hearing this news you would think I would be happy, and I am... I'm happy, thankful, grateful...

BUT... my heart is so heavy with sadness right now.

Here's the backstory:
When we first moved to Dallas, I didn't really know anyone. I had some friends, but these were people I had to cut ties with for my own well being and for the well-being of mine and the wife's relationship. I had also quit my job, becoming a house-wife for the first time in my life. I really had some adjustments to make.

The wife and I had a routine back in those days. The day began with her waking up and whining "coffee!" This was my cue that it was time to go to Starbucks. I loved my daily (the only days we missed were the days we were out of town or when we were iced in) Starbucks trips. They got me out of the house for something other than driving the kids to school. Then when I started teaching at the kids' school, I was stopping twice a day. Once in the morning for myself, and then again on my way home for the wife.The employees there finally fell into the understanding that the wife was a wife rather than simply a friend, and the person I talked with the most, was Steph. She was always there, smiling most of the time. Unless she was having girlfriend issues. I knew when she was having those issues, I knew when she got her certification to be a personal trainer, I knew when she got her very first pet (a gray kitten she loved), I knew that she had a problem with drinking and I knew when she was trying to quit smoking. My Starbucks peeps were a huge part of my life until we moved a few months ago. I still stayed in touch with Steph through Facebook.

Earlier this evening, I received a text from a friend of mine. Apparently her daughter was also friends with my Starbucks Star... small world huh? She wanted to let me know that Steph had been in a horrible accident. Apparently she was heading the wrong way on the highway and hit a semi-truck head on. She is in the hospital and they're discontinuing life support tonight.  I hate this. I hate that someone so young is going to die due to a very bad decision. I hate that so many like her make the same decision every single time they go to the bar or to a party.  I hate that friends are too passive to say "Hey, you know what, you're way too drunk to get behind the wheel of a car." Or "I think you have a problem... let me help you." She wanted help... She was hurting. She was trying to pull her life together.  This girl was 25 years old. Her birthday was July 30th.

A Little Rain

I woke up earlier than usual this morning because the dogs needed to go out. We weren't able to take them to the backyard at all yesterday due to the ant mounds that formed after we watered the grass. Typically that doesn't happen, but during drought conditions, the ants, like us, need a water supply. We've been quite respectful of the water restrictions, so I guess the newly fallen water on the grass, was like heaven to those ants! Oh what we wouldn't do for a little bit of rain. Anyway, I was happy to know that at 6 am, the temperatures were down to a cool 85 degrees. If I wasn't in pain in areas that bounce when running, I certainly would have hit the pavement this morning! I sure do miss that.

I've currently been trying to work on some brochures for a portion of our new business that we can get up and running without a store front, but I'm having a hard time getting the information into the brochures without plagiarizing. Do you remember doing research papers? You had to have certain information in your papers, otherwise it would be useless. That's how these brochures are because I'm taking a program I'm certified to use on the "road" so to speak. I have to put certain information out there so schools will know why they "need" this for their students. I know I could cite my sources, but is that proper for a brochure? I'm such a firm believer in this particular program, that if I can just get the words right, I know I can sell it. I've used it in my classrooms for years.  

Anyway, enough of that for now! Can I just tell you how very excited I am to be going to Alabama? We're going for business, but we'll squeeze some fun in there too.  I love the Deep South. When I'm there, I feel like I'm home. There is nothing like driving through Birmingham, Alabama, or my favorite college town, Auburn. The trip itself will take us through Louisiana, Mississippi... I love it! I know this sounds odd, considering the difficult time I've had adjusting to the small town I live in now, but here's the difference... the people you come across in the south are genuinely friendly. They aren't trying to be something they're not. Oh I'm sure they exist, but not in such large numbers, and like I said, I feel like I'm home there. 

My hope for this small road trip is that the phone call I'm supposed to receive is nothing but good news. With the kids in the car not knowing a thing, and the wife in the car wanting to hear the news right away... I want to be able to say I have a clean bill of health. 

Tomorrow, the mother-in-law is coming to town and we're going to the wife's cousin's baby shower. I really don't like baby showers or wedding showers. I don't like the games you have to play. Lets just have cake and open presents! After the shower, we're going gambling. This after the fit I threw in Oklahoma due to a night of losing. "I just wanted to go to Bricktown! I am not going gambling again.. hmphh!" Yeah well, I cave to the temptation each and every time. We will also be gambling in Alabama. Our hotel just happens to have a casino in it. Woohoo! You know... maybe I'll just win something there. 

Okay... it's time for me to get moving. We have some school supply shopping to do, and a baby shower present to buy. 

Before I go, I'll leave you with a Lucinda Williams song. It isn't the greatest version, but this is a song I played often when road-tripping through the south. Her song Righteously is another song I love. I'll put that in another post. :) Have a great Friday!

It's done... for now

A very short one...

I had my biopsy today. It was a fairly simple needle biopsy that hurt like crazy with the Lidocaine injection. I am now terribly black and blue, but so happy to have this part behind me. I only have to wait 3 business days and should know something by Monday. I told the Doctor I would be driving to Alabama, and that he did not want to make me pull the car over! 

Like I said, a short one tonight. I'm so tired. I hope everyone has a peaceful night!

Back to normal yet?

Okay...

My internet has decided to play hide-and-seek today so I figured I would write now and post later. 

First of all, I want to thank everyone for the good thoughts. I’m scheduled for the biopsy tomorrow afternoon, and am ready to get all of this behind me so I can get back to my writing self. 

My patience has stepped out of the building too. I don’t have patience for things like the wife being frustrated because I haven’t made coffee yet. First of all, she’s usually not up at this time, and second, I was told to stay away from caffeine. How hard is it to make coffee, and not have any? 

Because I don’t have patience, I ask her outright... “Are you distancing yourself from me in case something is wrong?” She admits she is, but she’ll work on it... Really?!?! Heaven help me if this biopsy shows the “C” word. People tend to throw that word around way too easily, by the way. I would rather not say it. 

Or maybe she’s distancing herself because I told her yesterday, I would rather not do the business if we aren’t going to do it right. Opening it in a crappy building is not doing it right. That’s not setting the good first impression that needs to be set when you start a new store-front type of service business that you want people to be thrilled to bring their children to. 

So now I’m not appreciative, and being a housewife means you have to appreciate not working. That’s all well and good, but to me being appreciative is not kissing butt and verbally agreeing to something I don’t agree with! Make sense? 

I’d accept the second reason for distance before the first... I’ll tell you that. Did I distance myself when it was pretty much confirmed that she has MS. No, I did not. I supported her. I looked for different types of things, and activities that could lessen the symptoms. I went to appointments with her. I know that she could very well end up in a wheelchair or worse, and I’m here, ready to do what I need to do. SO she better straighten up (well, not straight, but anyway) and fly right, because I don’t need this. Hell, I’m still dealing with my mother and her crazy emails. She must really be having a schizophrenic storm right now... this heat isn’t good for anyone. 

Right now, I’m going to go get ready to go. We’re meeting some friends at Buffalo WIld Wings and I’m going to have a drink. I really want one... 

Strange day

Today was... weird.

If you've read my previous blogs, you know that I went in today for my second mammogram. On my way in to have my mammogram, I got a call from my doctor's office to let me know the cyst they found is on my ovary. I'm not sure whether or not I'm worried about it yet. I need my mother's medical history and I feel like I have bigger fish to fry.

The woman doing my mammogram didn't do it right away. She took me aside first, stood me in front of the mirror, and showed me exactly how a breast check needs to be done. Then, after each image was taken, she pulled me over to look at them. They were dense... both of them, but she didn't seem overly concerned with what she saw, so I was feeling okay with that. I mean, she seemed very knowledgeable. She did tell me that she would try to get enough images to avoid the ultrasound, but I still had to have that. I'm really glad I had her though... no one has ever done that.

I then head to the ultrasound room. The woman performing the ultrasound gets me all set up, and begins. First my right breast. She's scanning, measuring, and marking spots. She then moves to my left breast and begins scanning. After scanning for a little bit, she says, "I don't like this machine. We're going to move to another room." Wow... okay. I get up, fix the robe, gather my stuff and we move to another room, where we start again. I start talking to her, trying to make conversation, which seemed to be going okay, but then she stops and tells me that she's going to go get the radiologist. I ask her if I should get dressed and she says no because he may want to look. Okay, in my head, this isn't good. I'm lying there, staring at a ceiling that they really need to put pictures on, and trying not to stress. He finally walks in, after what seemed forever in a darkened room with no pretty pictures on the ceiling, though I'm sure it was only about 5 minutes. He explains that my right breast has a few fluid filled cysts that are of no concern. Whew. Now the left breast... He says there is something there, but with me being so young (compliment?) and looking at the shape of what they found, he is fairly certain it's fibroid tissue. Then he says I need a biopsy and starts explaining the two different ways they can do this. ::sigh:: So there you have it. There is something and I need a biopsy. I'm going to call the doctor first thing tomorrow to get that scheduled.

In the meantime I'm being bombarded by emails from my crazy mother about getting the girl to a dermatologist. We of course have everything taken care of, and we know she needs something, and we also know that nothing she's gotten thus far has worked, or it does work, but then it stops and we have to start over. Now my mother, being paranoid schizophrenic, has been projecting her paranoia onto my daughter from the day she was born. This escalated when the boy was born. Everyone is "after" my mother, and now everyone is also after the girl, even her own brother.

This is why I had to put a stop to her seeing them last week. The girl messaged saying that her grandmother was saying horrible things about her daddy and brother (I'm sure I was included in this, but the girl knows when not to tell me stuff). She loves her brother, and this was confirmed when she said they shouldn't go over there anymore. I use this as confirmation because the girl gets whatever she wants from my mother, so she must love him to put a stop to the visits. Anyway... I really don't need this from my mother. I'm already sick of dealing with her paranoid tangents, and I am really sick of it right now. Thank goodness she only has my email. The bad thing is, I really needed to talk to my step-dad about my mothers medical history, but I have no way of contacting him because he has no cell, I don't know his work number, I can't get him on the home phone and she is in his email all the time. I wonder if he knows how isolated he is.  

I'm tired... I wonder if the temps have dropped below 100 yet.  

Ugh!!!

I've got nothing witty, funny, or even sarcastic to write about. To be quite honest, I'm a bit stressed about tomorrow. The wife seems confident that there nothing is wrong, and she has a great gut instinct, so I'm working on doing several things at one time so that I can forget to be worried.

I was actually doing okay as far as worry, until I got another call from the diagnostics center today. They like to call you the day before you go in, to explain your benefits and such, so you don't go in to have a procedure done, and then are shocked at how much you have to pay, because you haven't yet met your deductible. Whatever, I understand that, but I didn't know I was getting a sonogram along with the mammogram. Now see, that just increases my stress... ::sigh:: What are they seeing that makes them think I need that?!? Ugh!!! I'm not even going to list a bright side because I don't want to list it and then have the bright side of something not happening happen. Make sense? That's okay... it doesn't make sense to me either, but I'm not rewriting it, because that's just me thinking in print.

I didn't call the doctor today about the other test and the cyst they found. I decided I would call on my way out tomorrow, and then get the answer when I'm done at the diagnostic center.  One thing at a time is all I can stress about right now. There cannot be anything wrong with me... I need to get our business up and running, my puppies need me, and those human children need me too. I even think the wife needs me.

Okay... enough of this for one night. I think I'm going to go read now. I hope everyone has a wonderful day tomorrow. I may post another blog in the morning, as there are many things to talk about other than my stress and worry. Before my tests, we're going to look at two more properties, but I think we've pretty much decided on a location. I hope!

A whole lot of nothing to say !

This heat... bleh! It's ridiculous, and I know it has got a little to do with why I feel so bad lately. Right? I hope so. I'm calling the doctor back tomorrow, to get more info on my tests, and Tuesday I go back in for another mammogram. Isn't all that radiation bad for you? I've had enough x-rays and cat scans these past few years to cause all kinds of ill health. So lets go have more! That's the answer...

I need to learn how to be a better patient advocate for myself. I'm great when it comes to others, especially children and their parents, but you make me stand up for myself, and I forget my words.

I apparently need to work on this in many areas of my life. I've been having bad dreams about the kids' dad a lot lately. It's probably because he has had them this month, and it's nearing time for them to come home. I'm ready for my "babies" to come home. I've missed them. Please make note, because in a few months, if I have time to blog, you'll more than likely read complaints of the girl's disrespect, and the boy... well, who knows. He's a pretty easy kid. My hope for him is that he'll start to feel better in social situations. He's going to be a Master Chess player one day, and the girl, if she would truly focus herself, will be an amazing author and photographer. His brilliance and her talents don't come from me. Well, maybe her writing talent. I was once a great writer. Though I had a hard time letting people read what I wrote, at least my mind was free enough to create. It's not anymore. I get caught up in minor details and can't work past certain points. It's kind of like when I was training to run marathons, and couldn't get past the 10 mile mark without having a pneumothorax.

Well, our visitor has been here a few hours now, and it's actually been very pleasant. We took the boat out, and went for dinner and drinks. Even on the water, going as fast as the boat would go ( a whopping 25 mph), there was no air, but it was nice to be back on the water.

Tomorrow, or I guess it's today now, we go look at more business spaces, and then we get to go see our friend's new baby! I cannot wait. There is nothing better than being able to hold a baby, and when she's ready for alone time and date nights with her hubby, we get to babysit that sweet baby boy!

Have a magnificent Monday! Not a manic one ;o)