As most of you know, this has been a rough week in the Two Chick household. A week of stress and worry over my own mortality (Not morality... I've faced those demons with a fairly even win/loss ratio), and a young woman's life that was lost too soon due to an irresponsible act of her own doing. The loss of my young friend has really hit me hard. I remember a young girl who was full of life. She had sparkle, though she too struggled with demons, some of her own making.
I'm certain I couldn't be described as a religious person, since I haven't set foot in a church for years, and have long battled the stereo-types I've had of those who describe themselves as "Christian." I suppose you could consider that reverse discrimination... Two Chicks are typically judged and stereo-typed, thus I judge and stereo-type. It's a cycle I'm trying to stop, at least on my end. I loved my old church, but had a major problem with panic attacks while in services. My heart would race, dizziness would set in, and I would then start feeling sick. It was miserable.
Not going to church doesn't mean I don't believe in a higher being. I absolutely do. This would be God for me. I understand and respect the many different beliefs that exist in our world and in my own circle of friends, and wouldn't assume that what God is for me, is God for them as well.
I've been talking to God a lot lately, because though I am the best person ever at reasoning things out, there are some things in this life I just can't reason with. I suppose some would be surprised by my admission, but who do you turn to when you feel the world crumbling around you? I've cried to, talked to, begged and pleaded with, and most importantly thanked God. I try not to take anything for granted, and I keep myself grounded most of the time. Thats not to say I'm wonderful and above pettiness. I'm not...
I guess you guys are wondering what has brought on this type of post. It's not like me to "be this way." I guess because things aren't right with the world and that's worrisome.
I'm hoping the drive through the south will be full of beautiful sights... We will hit the road pretty early, so I'm sure my appreciation won't set in until well after we've been on the road. Oh and I've been reminded that there is no gambling in Alabama... We're gambling in Mississippi. SO there you have it.
I hope everyone has a great Monday... here's a song that kind of describes what I'm feeling and a picture I took this evening.