Just Two Chicks!

Just Two Chicks!


Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Blogging from bed...

It's true... I'm sitting in bed, with phone, iPad, my new magazine, heater, watching Roseanne, and throwing toys for crazy Cam. I should feel incredibly guilty for being so lazy. Well, okay, I do feel guilty, but I'm going to work past it. I don't think the self-imporvement book I'm reading, is helping much. Seriously, read yesterday's post labeled "Yesterday," ha! Hey, I was productive before I did that post... got a ton of stuff done, before noon!!

This is the Roseanne episode in which Nancy tells Jackie and Roseanne that she's dating a woman. It's pretty funny... Jackie is afraid Nancy will start checking her out, and she and Roseanne are discussing how it works with two women, you know, "Who gets to be the selfish man... I mean, do they take turns or what?" I love the stereo-types they're throwing out too... cracks me up, because you know this is how a LOT of people think.

SO, if you did read my last post, you'll know why this blurry picture was taken...

YES, I know. I caved in. I couldn't help it. I bought the chocolate Valentine cakes. I convinced myself it would be fine. Only 6 grams of fat (3 saturated) if I eat one a night, rather than the two pack, and the 39 (oooh, I forgot you get to divide that number too!!) grams of carbs are just about equal to the fruit I eat. ::ahem:: Don't even try to tell me it's not the same. I knowwwwww.... ::sigh:: I'll also hide them from the wife, so she won't be tempted. Yes, she reads my posts, but by the time she gets around to this one, the cakes will be long gone.

Then, as I made my way to the register, I saw this and bought it...

I wonder if the mind/food formula includes those snack cakes. Probably not, but what is one to do. You're supposed to eat what you crave because your body needs it... ha! It's kind of silly really, this
self-image of mine. I mean, I can look in the mirror and see thin, but I don't FEEL it.

Maybe I'm depressed. Maybe that's why I feel like I need Xanax... maybe that's why I've been looking forward to my wine as soon as I wake up. Although, I look forward to my coffee as I'm going to bed, so maybe that's just how I roll. Maybe the wife will be really p*ssed if she reads this before I tell her, but seriously... here's the deal:

I feel like I have no purpose. My volunteer stuff doesn't start until April. That's a long wait! My brain may no longer work!!!

When we were working on getting the business up and running (my business idea), I had purpose. I set up a blog, updated the FB page daily, did tons of research, worked on presentations, gave presentations, searched every day for locations (which was eventually our undoing). I was excited... I had a passion for something that would have been a tremendous resource to others. Now I'm totally scattered. My ADD is bad, my OCD is worse...

I think we all have a little bit of OCD in us, right? Like, if you're upset over a break-up, or mad at your spouse, you may eat a jug of ice cream, or scrub the house down until the walls are so thin, they crack if you touch them. It's shifting the focus from something you can't control, to something you can control. Kind of like the government!

Oh, speaking of Government, we received this in the mail...

It belongs to the girl. Clearly this child was not born from my body. I know I said I support Romney over the others, but I'm so politically torn right now, I'm having a hard time committing to any one person or party. This is unusual for me. I'm usually hard-headed about all of this, and very involved in the proceedings... you know, standing at the polls, going door to door. Maybe she is mine, but she is more than half of the wife's too, which was proven when this came in the mail.

OCD moment of the week: The wife and I need to pick a date to "make it official." Official in our eyes anyway... so I've been scouring over the calendar trying to find the perfect date, and I found it!! June 9th, 2012. This is why it's perfect: 6-9-12... count by three. AND 3+3,  3+3+3, and, 3+3+3+3... sequential order because you have two 3's, three 3's, then four 3's! One plus sign, two plus signs, then three plus signs!! See??? Now YOU tell me... do I need to find purpose?

Some of you may say, then go out and do something (waiting on my volunteering to start). The problem is that the presentations gave me a taste for having something that was mine... my own business, in which I made the rules, and I loved it. This makes the thought of teaching again, of walking into a classroom every day, dealing with the politics, and parents (not the kids, loved them) very scary. Panic attack scary. I don't do well with the politics. In case you haven't noticed in my blogs, I'm too outspoken. Most people don't really like that.

The wife feels the same way as far as wanting purpose, and is wanting to "invest" in other business ideas (things we can do together), but this is really very frustrating to me.

 In my head, I know my business idea is at a standstill due to the money a space would cost. The other business ideas she has been presented with, require no space, and she's knowledgable with the concepts because of the business she sold. 

In my heart, I want her to take what ever money she is wanting to invest and put it into my business... she may not be as knowledgable, but I am, and she would love it. 

Since this was not supposed to be a whiney post, I'm going to relieve you all, and be done for now!! I really think that elliptical is calling my name. I can hear it... in the distance... "Get off your a**, grab a snack, and come do this!!" Pfffft!!

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