Just Two Chicks!

Just Two Chicks!


Tuesday, January 31, 2012


I've been struggling lately... with my appearance and my "importance."

I know, I know... I complain about my teen daughter possibly having some odd eating disorder (she wants to eat healthy, she wants to eat junk, she wants to be a vegetarian, she wants to eat red meat, she stole her brother's scale, she measures out food servings, which I don't even do, she's way too freakin' skinny, I've banned her from cardio exercise), and here I am...

Sh*t I said (Yesterday):

"I'm fat!"
"I'm ugly!"
"Do I look gay?"
"Ugh, I hate my nose!"
"Maybe if we just get me a flipper... you know, the kind they use in Toddler's and Tiara's?"
"I don't feel like doing anything."
"I hate my smile now!"
"You hate me!"
"Leave the bird alone!! Bahhh"
"Maybe I'll read."
"You don't love me."
"I'll watch TV."
"You're ignoring me."
"Did you hear anything I just said?"
"Ugh, I feel like a fat cow, but I just want to EAT."
"Leave the bird alone! Bahhhhh!"
"I want a Ding Dong... omg, doesn't that sound good?"
"What is wrong with my hair???"
"Why can't I make this stuff on my head look right?"
"Ack, static!!"
"I'm so stupid!"
"Pick up your mess"
"I can't think clearly anymore."
"I was listening in on a woman's business meeting at Starbucks today, I want to feel important like that."
"Go do the dishes."
"I want to do this 5K, you ARE doing it with me!"
"Maybe if I buy new clothes?"
"Leave the damn bird A-LONE...bahhhhhhhh!!"
"I'm going back to school."
"I'm getting a job."
"Whose laundry is in the dryer?!?!"
"Me in a classroom again... wait let me get past this panic attack."
"I can't breathe."
"I just want Xanax."
"I need some new running shoes."
"I want to feel smart again."
"I want to have people to do my 5K's with."
"I want my gym..."
"Okay, I NEED Xanax!"
"Oh my God, c'mon people, work with me here."
"I want to travel if we aren't going to do anything else but sit around here, and do this, this... what ever   this is!!"
"Are we living our life to it's fullest?"
"Go to bed.."
"Where are your phones and computers... turn them in... go to bed!"
"I'm going to bed."
"Okay, one more game, then I'm going to bed."
"I love you... more than anything and everything... good night.."

It was a long day yesterday... today is a little better, but I still want to feel important, I still want to do my 5K's with someone, I still want a freakin' Ding Dong, or some sort of snack cake!!

Don't get me wrong, I am so very thankful every single day for my life, for my health (even when I hurt), for my wife (even if our relationship isn't government valid), for our kids (even though they are out of the cute phase, and in the teen phase). I am... but I've got some insecurity going on right now, that probably stems from little activity, and little use of my brain. I don't know how you house-wives of twenty-plus years do it!!!

1 comment:

Aeria said...

I've been "at home" for around 17yrs now. I don't like the term "house wife", just sounds so confined some how (lol, I'm not married to my house, thank goodness- that would be a bad relationship) and I don't like "stay-at-home mom" either because I don't stay at home much. So I've been trying to figure out something clever to call what I do/who I am. Haven't found any thing yet, lol.

This post stirs stuff in me- I laughed because I think I said all of these things yesterday (well, except the bird comments but those are all replaced by things like "leave your sister alone she's doing homework" or "what do you mean you lost another library book??" - I'm sure you have those too) and I also felt so bad because, yeah, insecurities aren't funny or fun and can be so disruptive and disconcerting.

I wish that one could run a 5k online- I really need a running partner/someone to run 5ks with too!!!!

All I can offer is a virtual hug and a couple of very yummy (fat and calorie free!!) virtual Ding Dongs. :)