Just Two Chicks!

Just Two Chicks!


Sunday, January 15, 2012

On getting better...

**I wrote this yesterday, but couldn't continue because it just ended up being a bunch of babble. My way of getting my frustrations out. I know people don't want to read a rant, so I tried to keep it as "rantless" (I love making up words) as possible. I get the feeling lately, that I'm beginning to sound more like a preacher than a lesbian-house-wife-mommy, but want to assure all of you, I am in no way discussing God as a way to convert others to my way of thinking. I respect all religions and belief systems. I am just finally reconnecting with a God I abandoned long ago, because I was told He hated people like me. Silly me for listening to people... So, this is yesterday's post.

I'm going to be honest... I'm not really up for "blogging" today. I've got a million different things running though my head, and a million different feelings running through my heart. Not the "physical" heart that pumps blood through my body, but the emotional, feeling, messy heart. Yes, that's right... messy. I am so sad right now, that my "messy" heart aches for these kids, for myself, for my family, for those like us, for anyone who has ever been made to feel less than human because they're different from others.

I'm dedicating this post to  Tyler Clementi 18, Asher Brown 13, Billy Lucas 15,  Seth Walsh 13, Raymond Chase 19, Jamey Rodemyer 14, TJ, Samantha, Aaron, Nick, Kevin, and most recently, Eric James Borgess. Eric even made an "It Gets Better" video. "It Gets Better" is a wonderful campaign geared toward bullied children (bullied for being gay, even if they aren't!). I love the campaign, though I wish there were some way to make it better for these kids, right NOW. These kids also need to know...

"It" doesn't get better. We just get stronger, we grow more independent, we rid our personal lives of those who judge us, and we learn who to trust. Or we may become jaded, and maybe we won't trust anyone. I hope this doesn't happen though, because that would be a shame... there are good people out there.

There may be times when we're so happy, we forget our differences, and we forget some people don't like us. We may feel ...  accepted! Then we'll turn on the television, or read something like "The Pope Declares Homosexuality a Threat to Families." These things that crop up, remind us that we're different, and we remember that we MUST love ourselves, and we MUST not let the little things (or often BIG things) hurt us, and we MUST try to move on in our hearts, even when we feel defeated, or hurt, or alone.

Every time someone takes their life because they feel less than human, a sign goes out to others, saying we weren't meant to exist... a sign for all to see. The most pious, nod their heads, saying "They chose this life. They chose this path." The vulnerable, bullied, closeted, struggling ones... the kids, the teenagers... they see this as proof that this is the only way out.

We didn't choose this path, not anymore than the black person chose to be black or the Jewish person (I'm sure I could come up with many more examples of differences, but I'm tired) chose to be Jewish (well, unless they converted, another story). Nor would the black person or Jewish person change who they are, to be more "pleasing" to others. This is who we are, inside and out, and we can't continue to allow others to push us down this path of destruction. Too many people, who could have done something special in this world, are gone because of the ugliness that surrounds us. The ugliness that comes in the form of the girl scout, the boy scout, the Pope, the politician, the teacher, the people in our everyday life, who surround us in a cloak of judgment. The blood of innocent people/kids is on their hands. I wonder if they ask God's forgiveness each time someone takes their life due to the homophobia they spread. It weaves through our country, our towns, our schools, our homes, our churches... wrapping it's tendrils around the most vulnerable, until they can no longer breathe... until they feel being with God is much better than being here, on this earth. I certainly hope these people who use God as their pedestal, on which to stand and preach hate, ask for forgiveness... on their knees... begging for forgiveness, for the evil that spills from their mouths and hearts, in His name.

We are not the ugliness in this world, we are the colorful, the unique. How do you teach this to a child? A child, who from the beginning, is different. How do you protect that beautiful, unique child from the ugliness in this world? Because it doesn't get better, we just get stronger.


Kelli Hale said...

Awww I like reading your post, ranty or not. :) We all need to get things off our chest once and a while. Besides that, this post was very well written. A wonderful, thoughtful inspiration.

Anita said...

Keep letting the world know. Perhaps some day you'll be believed.

Nice tribute to those innocent kids.