We went to the old house last night after dinner. It's sad. I felt something living there that I don't feel here. I felt its past... I know that may sound crazy. I felt it when I would sit in the backyard on a warm summer evening and the huge trees would sway in the wind, or the water would ripple with fish looking for food. The unfortunate thing is, I felt something inside too, but it didn't feel as peaceful as outside. It scared me, and I had bad dreams that ended up waking the wife. She was traveling a lot then with her business, and when she was away, I didn't/couldn't sleep. There were so many unexplained shadows and noises. I tried to make peace with them, and I'm sure I looked like a nut, walking through the house, trying to reason with whatever spirits I felt were there. Three people died in that home, one of them under questionable circumstances. I believe he was angry and I don't blame him. Needless to say, I'm so happy I don't feel that in this house, although there are so many things that continually go wrong here, we wonder if the home itself isn't a tortured soul.
Yesterday I received a call that I think I'm still processing because I'm not stressed or worried over it just yet. About a month ago I had a doctor's appointment. It was to get my yearly exam, mammogram, etc., but I was feeling really bad when I went in. To the point of begging her to check some things out. Well, she sent me for several tests. I wasn't really worried, because I hadn't heard anything from her and I hadn't gotten any results back, and then we found the gas leak which I reasoned out as being the reason for my malaise. I admit I'm the kind of person who will sit back/avoid if I don't hear anything.
I received a call from the diagnostics center telling me I had to come back in for another mammogram, but they couldn't tell me why, so I made my appointment and called my doctor. The medical assistant told me that there was density in both breasts. She couldn't really explain it, but bless her heart, she tried. My last mammogram showed that as well, so I'm assuming the tissue has changed and they want more views. Okay... I was listening, taking it all in.Then I asked about my yearly exam. I told her I didn't get anything back, "So it must be fine, right?" I'm encouraging her to tell me it is. She did as she was encouraged to do and told me it was normal, then there was a but... I literally rolled my eyes... ugh!! Really? Now bear in mind, I went in because I had been feeling like something wasn't right, so her telling me one of the tests found a cyst worries me, even though I know they aren't uncommon. The wife says it all depends on where the cyst is. Knowing it was the most invasive test that found it, doesn't make me feel good about it, and I was dumb enough not to ask location.
I guess the frustrating thing is that they found issues with two different tests on two different parts (well three since it was both breasts) of my body. I never really worried about breast cancer. There's no family history, that I know of. I've felt lumps before, but they've turned out to be other things... Ugh!!!
I'll go in Tuesday for another mammogram, but I'm calling the doctor back Monday to ask where the cyst is and to get a referral for a GYN.... just to be safe.
Okay, now I'm a little worried. Both breasts?
1.Don't sit back and wait for calls or something to come in the mail if you don't feel right. It's your body and you know it better than anyone.
2. Even if it hadn't been a full year since your last mammogram, if your doctor sends you for one, don't wait. I bet at least 18 months went by between mammograms, and if there is anything wrong... I don't need to finish that sentence.