I've been thinking.... now don't be scared. I know things happen when I think, and sometimes, they aren't good things, but I can't help it.
Last night we went to dinner at the neighbors' house. I love this particular neighbor. She's the one who suggested the school the kids now attend. Her boys attend the same school. She's quiet, and funny, and has never made us feel anything but welcome, first in the neighborhood, then in her home.
Then we have our other neighbor. She's the one who greeted us the first day we moved in. She didn't come over, she just happened to be outside when we were running back and forth with the movers. I've seen her outside furiously pulling weeds, in some kind of frenzy. She doesn't usually do yard work, but apparently she was bothered by it on that particular day. I've seen her leaving the house, and I've waved even though she totally called me by the wrong name, when all other times, she gets it right. I've seen her yelling at her kids. I've heard her out on her balcony, drinking, and being really obnoxious. She scares me. I'm. Not. Kidding.
She was also invited to dinner Saturday night. The wife, kids, and I arrived first. Then, in comes "Candy..." that's her name here in the blog, and the name I'll call her the next time she calls me by the wrong name. I'm just going to tell you, the whole environment changed when she walked through the door. It was kind of like a whooosh! The air cooled by about 20 degrees, my hair was blowing behind me, and I just stood there speechless. Do you know what it takes to make me speechless. No? Well not a whole heck of a lot. Shock, I guess. Shock over the change that I definitely felt when she arrived. Things settled for a few minutes, we met her kids, we talked to her husband (who I have a newfound respect for), and then it really started.
She is M-E-A-N. She is B-I-T-T-E-R. She is C-O-L-D. She is a B-I-T-C-H. I don't call a lot of people that... but you could see it in her eyes. Her husband couldn't contribute to a conversation without her verbally beating him down. She drank Scotch like it was water, she was the loudest one of the evening, even when laughing. Her laughter wasn't joyful laughter. It wasn't right... She was negative about her religion, Catholicism. She was negative about our town ( I know I am too, but she seems just like a lot of the women who live here. Like she wold fit right in). She was negative about her friend who we bought the house from. She was negative about our kids going to a private school with the neighbors' kids. She talked over us, and under us, and disagreed with most things. The wife said she had never, in all of her business or personal dealings, dealt with someone so brash. Again... whoooosh!
We talked about it, and analyzed it most of the day today. Earlier I said something about tolerance, and how we need to be able to tolerate people, and the wife throws out, "Then you need to tolerate Candy..." I said... "I did tolerate her and I accept her. I know there is no changing that...." She is a b*tch and there is no fixing that. Plus I think we can safely add the word crazy, in front of the word b*tch, and not have it disputed.
I was really thinking about this while I showered... I know right... I think all the time, and the shower is my best thinking place. Anyway... I came to the conclusion that that woman wouldn't like us even if we were straight, purple, and blue. She just doesn't like anything. You would think this conclusion would make me feel better, but it didn't. If I was dumb, I'd go out of my way to make her like me, but I know my limits. I know I can't keep quiet for too long. I know I'd end up losing it if I were around her for any length of time. I can tolerate, but I have a time limit... whooooosh!
Last night we went to dinner at the neighbors' house. I love this particular neighbor. She's the one who suggested the school the kids now attend. Her boys attend the same school. She's quiet, and funny, and has never made us feel anything but welcome, first in the neighborhood, then in her home.
Then we have our other neighbor. She's the one who greeted us the first day we moved in. She didn't come over, she just happened to be outside when we were running back and forth with the movers. I've seen her outside furiously pulling weeds, in some kind of frenzy. She doesn't usually do yard work, but apparently she was bothered by it on that particular day. I've seen her leaving the house, and I've waved even though she totally called me by the wrong name, when all other times, she gets it right. I've seen her yelling at her kids. I've heard her out on her balcony, drinking, and being really obnoxious. She scares me. I'm. Not. Kidding.
She was also invited to dinner Saturday night. The wife, kids, and I arrived first. Then, in comes "Candy..." that's her name here in the blog, and the name I'll call her the next time she calls me by the wrong name. I'm just going to tell you, the whole environment changed when she walked through the door. It was kind of like a whooosh! The air cooled by about 20 degrees, my hair was blowing behind me, and I just stood there speechless. Do you know what it takes to make me speechless. No? Well not a whole heck of a lot. Shock, I guess. Shock over the change that I definitely felt when she arrived. Things settled for a few minutes, we met her kids, we talked to her husband (who I have a newfound respect for), and then it really started.
She is M-E-A-N. She is B-I-T-T-E-R. She is C-O-L-D. She is a B-I-T-C-H. I don't call a lot of people that... but you could see it in her eyes. Her husband couldn't contribute to a conversation without her verbally beating him down. She drank Scotch like it was water, she was the loudest one of the evening, even when laughing. Her laughter wasn't joyful laughter. It wasn't right... She was negative about her religion, Catholicism. She was negative about our town ( I know I am too, but she seems just like a lot of the women who live here. Like she wold fit right in). She was negative about her friend who we bought the house from. She was negative about our kids going to a private school with the neighbors' kids. She talked over us, and under us, and disagreed with most things. The wife said she had never, in all of her business or personal dealings, dealt with someone so brash. Again... whoooosh!
We talked about it, and analyzed it most of the day today. Earlier I said something about tolerance, and how we need to be able to tolerate people, and the wife throws out, "Then you need to tolerate Candy..." I said... "I did tolerate her and I accept her. I know there is no changing that...." She is a b*tch and there is no fixing that. Plus I think we can safely add the word crazy, in front of the word b*tch, and not have it disputed.
I was really thinking about this while I showered... I know right... I think all the time, and the shower is my best thinking place. Anyway... I came to the conclusion that that woman wouldn't like us even if we were straight, purple, and blue. She just doesn't like anything. You would think this conclusion would make me feel better, but it didn't. If I was dumb, I'd go out of my way to make her like me, but I know my limits. I know I can't keep quiet for too long. I know I'd end up losing it if I were around her for any length of time. I can tolerate, but I have a time limit... whooooosh!
3 comments:
It's a shame that people that feel so badly about themselves have to translate it to others. I hope she keeps her bitterness to herself next time, but it doesn't seem likely. Just know it's not you, it's her and her problem.
So sad for Candy. She sounds like one very upset woman, just as the Diva said. And while you tolerate her, I think "a little goes a long way."
Blessings and Bear hugs.
Tolerance is not an easy thing (especially with a crazy she-ra)! Like Diva said though- this sounds like a very big problem-one that is all hers (and her poor famlily's?) and NOT yours. I hope that your brushes (whooooshes?) with her are minimal!
I think in the shower too :)
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